Click Here!

Reviews for Missing Sanity

By : DevilnBlue
  • From Tuosto on July 20, 2006
    Please tell me there is more. I "need" to know what happens! Also what is your FF.net name?

    Waiting for you to write more,
    Tuosto
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Karin on July 17, 2006
    Dear God!! You can't just end it like that! That's inhumanely cruel! What's going to happen next! Whats going to happen to Kyou? Haru? What will Akito do if he finds out!? Where's Haru going to hide Kyou! When are you going to update?! =^_^=

    Awesome story
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Aoi Umenokouji on June 28, 2006
    AH KAMI-SAMA! Thank you so much for letting me find another AWESOME fic after such a long time!!!

    Man Where do I start?! The angst is WAAAAY delish! I haven't read a fic like this since...about a year ago! (Why the heck did AFF delete the previous fics, anyway?) Kyo angst is ultimately succulent!
    And a Haru/Kyo pairing?! What more can I ask for?! Crap crap crap! I wanna see more!!!

    Hey I rhymed!

    Now for the constructive criticism part.

    Well, the first thing I noticed was how the word 'lightning' was spelled. I'm pretty sure it's spelled without an 'e' after the 't'.
    And wouldn't hurt to use abbreviations (apostrophies, etc.), like using "you're" instead of "you are". Plus, it brings out the attitude out of them, wouldn't you agree? Hehe.
    Hmm...and more segregation to the some of the sentences, probably. Like, using more commas and periods. Some of the sentences turn out slightly hard to read because of that. Here's an example.

    “Shut up my name isn’t Kyon Kyon and of course I know what day it is.”

    Readers may have a hard time reading this, as they probably will read it without pausing. Instead, let's try this:

    "Shut up, my name isn't Kyon Kyon. And of course I know what day it is!"

    See? That sounds a lil better. Or you could put a period after the "Shut up" and separate the first sentence into two.

    "Shut up! My name isn't Kyon Kyon... And of course I know what day it is!"

    That about wraps up my contructive criticism. Hey, a review ain't complete without it, right? Kidding! Hehe. And I hope I didn't offend you in any way! (waaah!)

    I'd DEFINITELY like to see MAWR of this! It's one of the best angst fics I've ever read!

    And won't you post this in Fanfiction.net? I guarantee you'll get more reviews there.

    Yours truly (winks),
    Aoi Umenokouji

    P.S.

    If you did already post this on ff.net (or will), please reply in the reviews section, okay (That is, if that function is still available. I've put my email on top, just in case.)? I'll be waitin!!!
    Report Review

T.O.S. | Content Guidelines | DMCA Info | F.A.Q. | Facebook | Tumblr | Abuse | Support | Contact | Donate

Click Here!