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Reviews for Coming Home

By : Animefreak20006
  • From bibbiesparks on March 19, 2009
    I had read your story on Fanfiction.com and was wondering if you were going to finish it. I was also wondering if you might have it on another site I mightcan read it onor you can possably send me a copy of the story thank you.
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  • From FullMetal8977 on January 16, 2007
    please update soon!
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  • From ANON - Crmy on January 13, 2007
    Hmmmm...

    This is interesting. It has a good plot, and the story line is coming out good so far, but might i suggest getting a beta? I'm going to assume you don't know what that is and explain. A beta is someone who you send your chapters to before you post them and fixing spelling errors, places punction where it is need, and if you find one generous enough, someone who will phrase your sentences correctly. You'd be amazed at how many more readers and reviews you get.

    A well written story catches peoples attention and hooks them in, plus its easier to understand the plot and the readers aren't spending an hour trying to figure out what a couple of misspelled words jumbled together meant.

    Also, the personality of the characters are some wht flat. They don't show alot of emotion to certain events and i'm sure if you get yourself a beta, he or she will e willing to fix that, without changing the basics of the chapter/story.

    This was jus constructive critism,not a flame. C.C is a great why to improve someones writing abilies and has helped my greatly, however when someone takes things to far, and just insults your piece, thats a flame.

    Also, I'll offer you my beta-ing services. Whether you take me up on the offer or not is completely up to you, and will not detemine if I continue to read this. I will, just because the plot is such an interesting read, but I thought I'd offer.

    Email me if you decided to and send me your next chapter, and I'll edit it.

    Once again, this was interesting.
    Cheers
    Crmy
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  • From ANON - LadyLunarian on October 13, 2006
    FINALLY MY TWO FAVOURITE THINGS! GRAVI AND SAILOR MOON!! WOO!
    That episode of sailor moon was so funny..! it's offical, You're now one of my fave writers! ^^
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