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Reviews for In The GardenBy : DKN |
- From megadeth425 on January 18, 2010
You definitely have something here, but it's pretty rough. While the initial scenes are well-written, a good half of the story is a very succint summary of what could have made for some damn good story had you only expanded on it. "Show, don't tell" is important for writing, but so much of what could have been laid out in dialogue and actions is instead explained abruptly. I'm a big fan of Negi/Harem, and I felt the potential in the second half was lost to brevity.
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