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Reviews for The Dark Type

By : Manifest Destiny
  • From the42jabberwocky on January 29, 2010
    I figured I'd chip in as you are a beginning writer like me. Overall I'd say a fantastic start. You have strong characters and the sibling relationship between Iruni and his sister is quite humorous. You described yourself well, but then from me that's not hard to do as I believe all my descriptions lacking. I liked how eccentric the mysterious man was, quick to do things and quick to get out of town. I feel I know who he is though, but i won't say. His whole persona reminded me of some speedy and happy go lucky guy that just felt it was the right time to help someone, his whole obsession with time also seemed to add to his character. Well done.

    Now for my bit of criticism. I feel that as you got towards the end of this chapter, you rushed. The chapter started out good with plenty of interaction and description, but that petered out towards the end. Mostly the last couple of paragraphs were like this. I wish I could explain myself further but its difficult as I can only say that I was left with a rather blase feeling. I didn't stop reading though, and that's what counts the most. However I recommend that you go back and flesh it out a little in some way. It's up to you, this all could just be me imagining things anyway.

    Either way, I wil continue to read and chip in as best I can. Keep going! :D

    I'll catch you later.
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  • From aragdoll on January 29, 2010
    This looks promising. Do continue.
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