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Reviews for Nightmare Game - In Resolution

By : SisterWicked
  • From RogueMudblood on November 25, 2011

    I'm awed that you chose to take on such a volatile topic, and the way you've handled this is very poignant. The way that Lavi reacts to Tyki's apparent denial of him is incredibly heart breaking. The fact that Tyki shows him exactly how much he is needed in the family is equally heart warming.

    I found it very interesting how you handled the priest's reaction to being introduced to the 'intended'. And Lavi's dumbfounded silence, resulting in Tyki's almost-dismissal was absolutely priceless.

    But might I add that one of your typos gave me a great pause? After all the effort you put into weaving this scene, you then have "her parent's silent amusement" where you mean "parents'". It was rather chilling to see that after such great effort to show the injustice Miki was having to suffer for having two men for her parents instead of a hetero-normative household.

    Another thing that caused me to pause: throughout the story, you refer to both Tyki and Lavi as men, but in the end, you have Tyki refer to Lavi as a boy. Granted, you make continual reference to Tyki's age being greater than Lavi's, but you don't refer to him as a boy until the end. I'm curious as to whether there was a reason behind the change?

    The ending sentence makes me wonder where this story was headed. I certainly would have liked to see the scene that you seemed to be building towards at the beginning of the story, wherein the two men confront Miki's teacher regarding her prejudices.

    Should you choose to continue this tale, I would be interested in seeing this come to fruition.

    Thank you for sharing, and happy writing!
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