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Reviews for As the Smoke Clears #4 in Rivalry Series

By : kurahieiritrJIO
  • From ANON - Old Owl on May 01, 2013
    Back at Sammy`s place, the multi-problems that are facing the two lovers are talked over there. The problem with finding the slaver and her horde of nasties are the first part. The dialogue is crisp and clear. `Never have had any problem telling whose talking to who. The main quiry of the racers is how is Keisuke going to get into the professional racing circuit now, where to look next for those evil people before they set up shop again. You give the gist in your own way, very good. Let me read more.
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  • From ANON - Old Owl on May 01, 2013
    Shopping for new clothes is a chore for any one, for two men to do it is interesting. Keisuke being `hit on` by those sales clerks is a hoot. It takes a lot to outfit a little guy. You can understand the amusement found in his grandfather`s eyes when he saw his volital grandson try to handle all the `ladies` who insisted that they knew what his son wanted. The dialogue was intriguing but it was a good thing to see how his grandfather and Keisuke reacted to each other and his little one`s needs. The chapter was needed to round out the fact that soon, hopefully, his little one will be going home with Keisuke. Must read more.
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  • From ANON - Old Owl on May 01, 2013
    Well, I never said the paparattezzee were nice. I think that how Keisuke and that detective handled them was correct. Dialogue was right on, the way that the crowd moved was scary but similiar to how crowds are with celebrities. The chapter zipped along and was on target with what was going on there. I was impressed.
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  • From ANON - Old Owl on April 30, 2013
    Itsuke has horrid nightmares also. The poor man being tortured and raped while being told that his preforming these tasks would help Itsuke and Takumi out, were all lies. The pain this man feels wouldn`t be so bad if not for the fact that he has to come to grips with himself before he can see Takumi again. Excellent how you have me `see` what happened to the man. The emotion and torture that he is putting himself through is sad. Looking at the scenario through his eyes, I can see how Itsuke thinks of himself now as a homosexual. Good reading.
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  • From ANON - Old Owl on April 30, 2013
    Oh my goodness, what horrors Takumi has in his nightmares. Seeing one of them is enough. The way Keisuke held him gently while being told of what Takumi thinks he did, is wrenching. Awesome on how the angst, pain and relization made Takumi feel. Excellent story telling, dialogue was great, very good my friend. Let me read more as soon as I stop...
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  • From ANON - Old Owl on April 30, 2013
    Now I better understand Samantha Running Wolf. With a tramatic history as has unfolded, it is amazing that she is so stable in a weird, psychopathic way. There are those around who are worse than she is. You brought us into Twylah`s home, explained Sammy`s past, and did it with pinache. Excellent how angry Sammy got on the phone, the dialogue was great, and the confusion in Etsuya priceless. Another chapter well done. Let me read on.
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  • From ANON - Old Owl on April 30, 2013
    Okay, I got confused when you said the same thing twice. Then I got a clue when I remembered that you also had `Lemon Twist` at the beginning of the second part. It must have hurt Takumi like hell to have to know thathe had to wait for a drug to kick in to get relief from his hard on. The way Keisuke loved, supported, and cared about his feelings and frustration were evident in the way he talked and reacted with Takumi. Excellent how you made me feel like I was in the bathroom with them, feeling the pain and agony of both. Excellent dialogue. You made a power house out of a few words, wow. Let me read on.
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  • From ANON - Old Owl on April 30, 2013
    Another start of another story, This is a wonderful way to start this chapter off. Nikaru and Keitusuke getting to know one another. Takumi visiting with Nikaru although still too weak to do more than just talk with the small boy, falling asleep before the visit is over shows how weak Takumi is. The caring that Keisuke shows for the rest of the former slave children by giving them all presents is touching, very emotional. The fact that Keisuke cared enough to ask the detective if he could take one or some of the children into his home showed true conpassion. Very moving, excellent dialogue, you still have the touch my friend. Let me read on.
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  • From ANON - BlueFairyGirl on April 26, 2013
    As always...AWESOME!!!!!!!
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  • From Rei-chan on April 11, 2013
    AWESOME!!!! I love it... aww poor Itsuke in danger because of his brand... *pumps fist in the air* Help them out Ni! n.n
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