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Reviews for A New Hope

By : ABronyGamer
  • From ANON - Goodonyamate on May 18, 2015
    Great job on this! I have read all of the club as well and am very sad that the author never finished it. Don't put yourself down though cause yours seems to be on par with it. You I'd a great job at the storytelling aspect of it without making it too smutty, i for one love that! I'm looking forward to reading more! :D
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  • From The-OC-Slutifyer on July 20, 2014
    Hi there just wanna say I love your story dude, keep it up ( no pun intended XD ).
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  • From Destroyahirismix666 on July 20, 2014
    I'll leave my next chunk of feedback here.
    For one, I f*cking envy you. As 'erotica', it wasn't top-of-the-line. But What that one scene did well was convey a sense of emotion, feeling, and thought better then about 85 percent of Mature pieces I've seen/read
    But onto the main thing.
    The Main character is enjoyable to read...usually. His brief discussion with Mike at the closing stages of the chapter felt a bit lukewarm. Other then that though, we've gotten a decent rundown of his character, and rather then just 'Oh wow, I got banged by another species, I'm now addicted to this', we do continue to see some progressive thought. Even though we all are 90 percent sure that he's going to end up enjoying this considering what kind of story this is and where it has been placed.
    Our assorted females are now considerably more fleshed out then 90 percent of all Talking-Pokemon stories I normally see, and that gives me major hope. Usually with a solid base like this, they'll continue to progress as this goes on.
    The underground world was a nice little tease. It's one thing that I'm looking forward to the most, seeing it verbally mapped out.

    All in All, You've won me over, congrats.
    As for characters, just wait another chapter for that if you need one badly.
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  • From Destroyahirismix666 on July 10, 2014
    Huh...
    I really was afraid this would fall into most of the common tropes that I normally see in these stories. While those 'holes' are still open, no pun intended, your main character does seem to be more then a convenience OC, unlike the main character from 'The Club'. Sen seems to feel a bit more realistic. Again, it's only two chapters in.
    I'll hang around a bit longer, see if this actually does turn out good, or if the Club ended up inspiring it so much that I find it hard to enjoy. (I didn't really enjoy that story, it felt like Pokephilia smut with a rushed-in preachy moral against government without any consideration of the opposite side, and alot of Code Geass-ish attributes that were poorly implemented). I want to see if you can make this your own story and make the character your own, a 'Human' that isn't perfect, but isn't so flawed that we have no reason to like him.
    Here on Adult-fanfiction's pokemon section(s), you've got an interesting competition to go against, and your trying to ride a thin line. Rampant Pokephillia journey-like stories aren't hard to find, yet despite the wide availability of product that demand is even higher, so it's easy to get praise to the point of over-ripening the author's work. However, The fact that this is set up to present more then just jerk-off material will invite many more critical eyes. So don't get discouraged if this fic gets beaten on while other long-running multi-chapter fics get praised. But do take notice of well rounded criticism, because 'it's really effective' (Especially against living things). And don't let excessive praise poison your work...'it's not very effective' at improving anything (Especially against living things).

    If you hear from me again by chapter 5, then it's likely you would have won me over.
    If not, that doesn't mean this turned out bad, it just means it didn't appeal to me for one reason or another. OR I took another long break from reading any sort of fanfiction.
    I'll be watching-er-reading from the sidelines.
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