I Hope that flashback with Arlong come back soon..

WHO DARES DISTURB MY SLUMBER!!!

YOU HAVE INVOKED THE NAME OF THE INFAMOUS MOUNTAIN-DWELLING HERMIT KNOWN AS MICK GESITT!

So yeah... you rang?

@Chapter 6.

Honestly, I have all good things to say about your writing in this chapter. Not so much for its original inspiration because I actually liked your writen version BETTER THAN the doujin it was based on. I've gone on record in my previous reviews in stating how much I dislike the overdone bodystyles that are drawn by artists such as Naruho and AcidHead. Rojiura Jack falls into that same catagory and Blooming in Prison features it at its absolute worst. Robin's proportions weren't QUITE as bad in Untimely Flowering. And I actually have a soft spot for Through the Wall but that's mainly just because it features three different women - Hancock, Margurite, and Perona - all with overdone proportions, which is really saying when you're dealing with Boa Hancock's already massive chest, but when you've got three overdone women in the same comic the unnatural proportions start to look a litte more uniform and normal.

But with Blooming in Prison, right away on page 4 we have a Robin with breasts that are bigger than her head, tree trunk thighs, and that absurdly thick ass. If I scroll down on the page far enough to cut Robin's head off, I wouldn't be able to recognize her because the art style is so completely alien from what I've come to know in One Piece.

So yeah, your written version had an advantage because I wasn't forced to see an overdone body. You said Robin was in the Tequila Wolf prison and that's what I pictured. Robin in prison with that blue jumpsuit with the undone zipper. And while there was a great deal of attention on the Chief Warden's huge, lump covered, doujin dick... you never did anything to distort my vision of Robin during the whole ordeal.

Another point in your favor, was your execution of the scenario. In the original doujin, the Warden called Robin a cumdump and then it was like a switch was flipped and she was suddenly sucking cock and getting fucked with no resistence what-so-ever. So if the absurd visiuals weren't bad enough, the lack of character had my mind screaming "NOT ROBIN!" and from that point on I completely disassociated the depicted character with that original manga character. It was simply some other whore getting fucked and from then on it ceased to be an actual One Piece doujin.

Meanwhile, in your version you had the Warden blackmail Robin with that picture of Soran... and Robin reluctantly complied with that first blowjob. And when the Warden pressed for more, Robin refused. You could have easily had the Warden pull the same trick and threaten Soran again but you didn't. Instead he swapped out for a different approaching and played the long game with the aphrodisiac in her food. And even had him toss Robin an 'average sized' rubber sex toy as a glimmer of relief which quickly dimmed as it proved to be not enough after such a long period of exposure to the potent aphrosiac. So when Robin finally caved and after such an indeterminate period of psychological torture... I completely bought it. But the cherry on top, was that Coup de Grace at the end where Robin took out her tormentor and proved that even after everything she never lost her edge.

So well done. I'd dare to say that this is your best chapter yet.

I'm looking forward to the Nami-Robin scene in the upcoming Woman's Touch chapter. And then after that I've got my fingers crossed for sometthing Punk Hazard related. Between the bodyswapping, the return of Tashigi, the animal-hybrids, and even just the unusual divided climate (* is currently picturing Robin stripping completely topless on her trip to the hot side with Luffy, Zoro, and Usopp*) -  there's loads of perverted potential to be had in that arc.

So yeah, eager to see where this story is heading as we turn our attention back to Nami.

And now in the spirit of putting out some positivity after spending so long bashing the doujin this chapter is based on, it's time for Mick Gesitt of the Mountain's Doujin Recommendation!

The really ironic thing is, I know I mentioned Blooming in Prison in my last review as a reaction to Robin's 'It happened to me too' cliffhanger line. And that may very well have been your plan the whole time. But literally, a week after I posted that review I discovered a new WAY BETTER doujin based on Robin's time on Tequila Wolf. It's titled Robin's Hole 2 and it's drawn by that same Dorota Bou artist who did the Bath House Hole doujin that I recommended back in my Chapter 4 review. The strangest thing about it is that Absalom has somehow become a reporter following the fall of Thriller Bark but if you can buy that then you're fine.

You follow Journalist-Absalom into Tequila Wolf where he finds Robin, wearing a Sea Stone collar, being gangbanged by the guards. Unlike your version where we had all the psychological torture that lead to the breaking of Robin, the doujin Robin is already mostly broken. The warden claims she resisted at first but is now docile after a full month of being constantly gangraped.  The doujin's 'plot' is mainly just Absalom probing around and also probing Robin for a story as he investages what she's doing there.

The main appeal is, of course, the art style. Because it looks like pre-timeskip Robin was ripped straight out of the manga, stripped naked, and thrown into a gangbang. Again, the quickest way to my heart in any form of hentai is if the depicted characters 'resemble' themselves. I hold different smutty mediums up to different standards. If it's a written story then the visuals don't matter so much and it's really just a matter of the characters being IN character so that they resemble their original counterparts. For a doujin, which is based mostly on visuals, the most important thing for me is that the depicted characters LOOK LIKE their original selves. And my God, Dorota Bou continues to straight up NAIL the One Piece art style. Even Absalom with his strange zombie animal body looks incredible. And that actually means sometihng to me after seeing so many doujins of Nami and Robin fucking random generic looking guys.

You asked for it,

Mick Gesitt of the Mountain

@Chapter 5.

Hm. I figured Fishman Island would have a greater effect on Nami. Nami being molested by Arlong and the Fishman PIrates is a cornerstone of One Piece doujin. There are four vastly different doujins that immediately spring time mind withf tha premise. In order from worst to best there's Nami Saga 3 (the doujin series you based the first few chapters of this story on) the majoirty of the third installment is a flashback of Nami being blackmailed into sex with Arlong and then being whored out to his crew and random pirates. The pre-Time Skip Nami is drawn in Naruhodo's signature borderline grotesque overdone style where she barely resembles herself. Then there's Yamamoto's Two Piece Nami vs Arlong where Nami's character design looks like it's come straight out of the the manga... but the plot is simplistic at best. NAMIKAN by Muten is a huge step forward and distant second place that boasts a beautiful art style and a plot that actually fits into the One Piece story, and shows Nami being subjected to Ceasar Clown's truth serum on Punk Hazard and their questions leading to a flashback of her being molested by fishmen and then raped by Arlong. Then the flashback ends and the horny Nami is set upon some of Ceasar's goatmen.

And then of course there's my personal favorite: VOYAGE by Carmine of Crimson Comics. It consists of three chapters and was the first NamixArlong doujin I read and it has yet to yet to be knocked off its pedestal. The first chapter sees Nojiko overhear Arlong's plan to deflower her sister so she takes it upon herself to take Nami's viriginity (while at the same time sacrificing her own with a double-ended dildo) in order to keep Nami from having to live with the mortification of losing her first time to the monster who murdered their mother. Chapter two has Arlong make his move with Hachi's multiple hands, Chew's puckered lips, and some thin tentacles playing their part in getting the human woman's motor running before Arlong takes her for a ride on his fishman cock. And then part 3 has Nojiko set Luffy on Nami following his defeat over Arlong and the Straw Hat Captain literally shatters his navigator's previous memories of sex by showing her what good sex with someone you care about can feel like. The NamixNojiko relationship is what shines through in that one. In fact, I use Nojiko taking Nami's viriginity as my own head-canon whenever I write Nami in a sexual context. It also kind of explains why Nami usually seems to be closer with the women they encounter than the men with Vivi, Robin, Lola, and Carrot being the prime examples.

Anyway, just saying, for a story centered around One Piece doujin, I feel like you skipped a major part of it by skipping over the fishman and not revisiting any of Nami's potential history with Arlong. Instead you went in a different direction and had Nami's 'first time being with the son of a wealthy East Blue merchant she had stolen from at the time'. Granted, canon Nami is a pirate thief who exclusively robs from pirates since - pre-Luffy - she saw them all as criminal lowlives on par with Arlong that deserved to have their treasure stolen. But you can alter your characters however you want for your story. You do you.

And then you ended the chapter with that cliffhanger and Robin's ominous "Because it happened to me too." line. Perhaps this is an reference to her time in prison on Tequila Wolf during the early parts of the Straw Hat separation arc and we'll see something similar to Blooming in Prison by Jun of the rojiura group? Or maybe it will go back even further to Robin's teenage years where she was doing whatever it took to survive in a world where the governing power wanted her dead.

I'm all for a steamy Nami-Robin scene. But I really truly hope this isn't your way to turning Nami and Robin into the cockgobbling shanks from the Acid-head NamiRobin series that sees them regularly whoring/slutting themselves out for random generic men.

Nice to see you back. Curious to see where you go next.

Chap5, next I wanna see Nami and Robin getting it on!

@Chapter 4.

Nice to see that Nami's back on track with the canon storyline. I wonder if her new powers of foresight are a perverted version of Kenbunshoku Haki. It's said that a person's dormant Haki can be awakened through extreme training or extreme shock. I'd say that Nami's extreme situation in the first few chapters fits the bill. At least she got something out of that horrible ordeal.

I'll give you credit for finding a fairly clever way of working in Nami's drastically different 'doujin' appearance and attributing it to her time in captivity. BUT, I can't exactly say that I'm fan of the Naruhodo body style. I've been following One Piece long enough that I can just close my eyes and picture just about any character in my mind. And while I'm perfectly willing to admit that Oda's not-so-new post-Time Skip art style where he draws all his attractive women with massive tits and teeny tiny waists is a little ridicoulous. The overdone body style of Naruhodo is VERY ridiculous by comparison. Aside from a passing resemblence in their hairstyle and whatever clothes they're wearing (which are usually quickly removed) Naruhodo's version of most characters don't even really look like their canon counterparts.

I much perfer the art style of someone like Yamamoto who draws his character so close to their original selves that his doujins look like a scene straight out of the manga. Hell, I'm such a fan of that kind of visual detail that I've pledged money to Yamamoto's patreon. My only 'complaint' about his work is that it's mainly focused on Dragon Ball Z and that he does very little with One Piece but I can live with that.

Obviously everyone's preferences are different. I can overlook my issues with Nami's altered appearnace by simply ignoring it. This is word-porn and not a comic so I can picture whatever I want even if it contrasts with your distription.

However, I am concerned about you taking 'plot' elements from ACID HEAD. Once upon a time, I was a fan of Acid-Heads doujins. Nami no Koukai Nisshi 3 (the one with the Thriller Bark zombies) is my favorite out of everything Acid Head has ever done (and probably ever will at this point). Nami looked like herself and there were plot elemeny from the actual series. Plus I've managed to find the uncensored version. Nami no Koukai Nisshi 1 and 2 (where Nami has the soapy sex battle with Kalifa) are decent for the same reason, But things started to go off the railspost Time Skip.  Nami no Koukai Nisshi 6 (the doujin you referenced in this chapter) and Nami no Koukai Nisshi 7 (where she's unconscious in the lab on Punk Hazard) are the last doujins to actually have anything close to a plot. Ever since then every One Piece doujin Acid Head has done has been Nami (and sometimes Robin) having sex with a generic faceless men because they're slutty whores. Those do absolutely nothing for me. I really, really hope that you don't do something similar.

I guess I'm one of those weirdos that actually likes there to be plot with his porn. That goes doubly for a fic. This is word porn. You can no longer rely on visuals alone. Now you actually have to contribute something to the narrative in order to make it a proper 'story'. So while I AM a fan of you writing a story centered around Nami that ties in various One Piece doujins, I really hope that this chapter's reference to Nami no Koukai Nisshi 6 will be your only dalliance down the Acid Head path.

But yeah, sorry to unload all that heavy criticism on you. This site doesn't have a lot in the way of reviews so when one of them is extra harsh and critical it can't be great for moral. My criticisms weren't so much against you as opposed to the doujins you've referenced and their artists. There are so few active One Piece stories on this site that I couldn't help myself. But if I'm taking the time to write such a long review you can at least find comfort in the fact your story inspired enough of a response in me to put in all this effort. Most people can't even be bothered and most of the time I'm the same way. So at least relish that your story is special enough to receive one of my rare reviews.

-Mick Gesitt of the Mountain

P.S. Because I felt like I was overly critical and want to end on a higher and more positive note. Have you seen the new Bath House Hole doujin by Dorota Bou? It's centered on the already perverted and fan servicy moment of Nami and Robin in the bath house in Wano. The octopus attendants take some extra liberties and then things escalate when the watching men get involved. That's the kind of doujin I can fully support. The art style was spectacular. Nami and Robin looked like themselves  and hell, even the weird-looking Wano men looked accurate. And it was based on an already lewd and perverted scene from the series and dials it up to 11(thousand). If there were more doujins like that, I'd probably be less jaded and critical.

Not happy with Nami's escape in Chap3.  I hope she ends up in an even more depraved situation soon.

Pretty good story, if based on a doujin. You have a good style, though you could use a bit of help in editing.

I might be interested in Beta-reading your stories, maybe throw a suggestion or two. If you want to contact me, I'm Ookami88 on fanfiction.net, a direct link to my profile: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1823048/

I find the PM system there much more reliable.

Pretty good, I liked chap 1 better then 2.  If Nami does escape I hope its only to more sexual servitude.  Hoping for preggo sex.