The Demon and His White Knight

BY : escapeasy
Category: +. to F > Code Geass
Dragon prints: 147
Disclaimer: I do not own anything pertaining/related to Code Geass and I'm not making any profit from this work.

[Original post date: September 2009]

--This is an old ten song challenge from ye olde Live Journal--

(NOTE: these are not song fics)
The rules are as follows (should you ever want to try this yourself):
1. Pick a character, pairing, or fandom you like.
2. Put iTunes or equivalent media player on random.
3. For each song that plays, write something related to the theme you picked inspired by the song.
4. Do 10 of these, then post.

Key: Song - Artist (Genre) [Order]
(It isn't necessary to know the songs being used.)

[Because some of these scenes are connected while others are not and they’re not in order, reading it can cause some confusion, as has been brought to my attention, so I’ve indicated in brackets [0-9] what order they actually take place to give you a better idea of how it all comes together and fits into the CG timeline yet still allow to read them in the order they are presented.]


The Demon and His White Knight

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1: Keep Me from Drinkin' – The Riverboat Gamblers (humor) [3]

It should be embarrassing – well, it would be if anyone were around to witness it. Suzaku is all alone in the student council room, save for a lone bottle of champagne – now half empty.

(Milly kept a few bottles around for special celebrations, which would include, but were not limited to: festivals, a new member, parties, dances, holidays, birthdays, and whatever outrageous occasion she deemed fit for a light, fizzy glass of alcohol – which wasn't permitted on school property, nor were they of drinking age. But rules were meant to be broken – as she seemed to aptly believe.)

Arthur is in the room of course; perched high on his cat-tree eyeing Suzaku irritably with his tail batting emphatically over the edge of his high post. He had already tried, too many times to count, to settle the teen down with the tools at his disposal that always worked in the past. But when his sharp, white fangs punctured skin Suzaku merely looked down at his furry friend/foe with a simper and cloudy eyes, releasing an oddly cheerful-drunken-chuckle and words the cat couldn't understand – even if he knew how to speak human. Suzaku had then hiccupped, patting the tabby too hard and with horrible aim, causing several hard slaps to the feline's face.

Arthur retreated. He wasn't going to take abuse from Suzaku – that only worked the other way around.

However, by the time Lelouch wanders into the student council room, Suzaku is worse off (the bottle now almost nearly empty).

His unbelieving violet eyes widen remarkably as he watches Suzaku move in sloppy, unsteady circles around the long, wooden table with his hair a mess in a wild, chocolate mane that looks as if he'd been electrocuted. His face is flushed a rather deep rosy colour and his eyes transfixed in their misty delirium. His black uniform top-coat is halfway on, one sleeve still clinging for dear life on Suzaku's shoulder, while his white undershirt is – for whatever reason – miss-buttoned and disheveled, hanging out on one side; the same side not covered in a black uniform.

(He almost looks like two mismatched halves: his left side still pristine while his right is loose and crazed… like a drunken idiot.)

Now, if the tipped over dark-green champagne bottle lying haphazardly near the table's edge, or the way Suzaku has an old, white table cloth slung clumsily around his arms – which are flapping in the apparent effort to fly – as he circles whilst mumbling dyslexic Japanese to himself aren't a clue to anything, than Lelouch quite honestly doesn't where to begin.

Suzaku had consumed the majority of – if not the whole – amount of liquor in that one bottle all by himself… and now he is smashed trying to fly around a room with a sheet.

The only reason Lelouch had even come here is because – being the almighty Zero – he was up quite late (as now it is severely late, long after curfew) plotting as per usual and heard a raucous clattering around up stairs. He took to inspecting it quickly and quietly lest he want to be on the wrong end of a struggle (although he did come armed with his trusty gun); all the while hoping to himself Arthur was really the source (and not some wretch or an enemy trying to raise hell. Or in the case of the latter, arrest him… though he really believed that to be unlikely but still considered it nonetheless). Not to mention, Nunnally's safety was at stake…

But this… Lelouch could never have guessed in a million years it would be Suzaku drunk and flailing imaginary wings.

Lelouch stands, frozen for a shocked and bewildered moment or two, before snatching Suzaku's "wing" (not before hearing a slurred Lancelot) as he travels by on his perpetual loop.

"Suzaku!" Lelouch growls and hisses at the same time – not knowing until that moment it was even possible – as he yanks Suzaku from the foggy world of a drowning brain.

Suzaku blinks at him, face blank but with red eyes.

"What the hell are you doing? You have any idea what time it is? Or even… what the hell you're doing?!" He glares heatedly, face contorted and eyes burning whatever is left of Suzaku's indisposed head, before he notices faint trails down his reddened cheeks, and the puffiness of his eyes.

Somewhere in Lelouch's skull, his brilliant perception and deduction skills click something into place.

(It was only earlier that day that the whole crisis with Mao had been dealt with; leaving Suzaku trembling and unfocused on his hands and knees…

Lelouch hadn't willingly let Suzaku stagger off to his dorm to be alone, the soldier had requested as much – a bit adamantly, at that. Although, now, Lelouch can see that was a mistake. He shouldn't have left Suzaku alone (though he hardly thought Suzaku would handle it in this way.))

"…Suzaku…" Lelouch murmurs, at a loss for words.

Said boy looks away, his arms coming forward to bend awkwardly at his chest, suddenly very downcast.

"I shouldn't have left you alone," Lelouch mutters, eyeing Suzaku warily with a hand on his shoulder.

To his surprise, Suzaku nods lightly. So he is somewhat coherent.

Lelouch lets a subtle sigh seep from his lips as he guides and forces Suzaku to sit in a chair, staring at the bottle at the end of the table with the same distaste Arthur had when watching Suzaku's obnoxious behavior, as he seats himself beside his friend.

"Listen," he begins carefully, craning his face back at Suzaku's dipped one, "Don't do this again. You know… You know I'm here for you, so don't… I don't ever want to see you this way again. You're already too much of an idiot to kill the weak and minimal amount of brain cells you have," he tries to joke with a mild smirk.

Suzaku nods more curtly than before, speaking quietly, "Luloosshh, I feel bad."

Lelouch bobs his head, "I know, but alcohol will only make you feel worse. Just talk to me." (Of course, Lelouch cannot suppress the "Who the hell gets drunk on champagne?!" from sounding in his mind.) "What would Nunnally say, I wonder…" Lelouch decides to add to the already heaping emotions simmering inside Suzaku, hoping to make a better threat against Suzaku's want (if exists) to do this again.

After a bout of silence – with Suzaku's face growing pale and scrunched – Lelouch asks plainly, "You are an idiot. You know that, right?" lifting Suzaku's chin with his finger to look at those glazed green eyes.

"Le…Lelouch… I don't feel good."

Lelouch furrows his brow, "Yes, we covered that—"

In this moment, just before Suzaku opens his mouth in an ironic plea to make it stop, Lelouch wonders who the bigger dolt between them really is. He can't really seem to argue with the warning he'd received earlier that he didn't heed or with the upchuck pouring from Suzaku's mouth all over his lap…

Well, there is that law: what goes up must come down.

But there is one thing for certain in Lelouch's aching head: Suzaku is never allowed to drink again.

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2: Marry Me – Nightmare of You (fluff/romance/mild angst) [4]

It was probably that drunken night Suzaku had spent hurling all that champagne, his lunch, breakfast, and then some, when he had uttered a happy two words that made the ex-prince smile.

Suzaku couldn't help it; Lelouch was always there and always prepared with the right words that Suzaku needed to have whispered in his ear. It was when Lelouch was kneeling on the clubhouse bathroom's cold, hard tile floor, rubbing his back yet cursing him all the same for being such an incredible idiot, that Suzaku couldn't think of any other words to say.

(Even though Lelouch was calling him an incredible idiot, he was still calling him incredible…)

But it wasn't just then, it was all the time, any time spent with Lelouch. Throwing snide and sarcastic comments – with those laces of love underneath – and laughing as if there was no war, there was no Zero and there was no conception of time; just like they were ten years old again. It was elation that warmed him fuzzily when Lelouch's arms wound around him, lips kissing him as they lie sweaty and spent in Lelouch's bed; even as they fell from heaven and back to a world that didn't make sense. And he couldn't wait to melt from his horrible hangover into Lelouch's secure hold and soft scent which always had Suzaku soaring back into the sky.

(To Suzaku, Lelouch was the equivalent to cloud nine – and Suzaku was told once that he had his head up in the clouds, but since its Lelouch, he didn't mind.)

They may have been rash words uttered by an irrational seventeen year old boy, but they were nothing to be taken lightly. He never wanted to leave Lelouch's side and vice versa; so it only made sense to iterate them when the realization spewed from his brain while something he couldn't remember eating spewed from his stomach.

However, it was also because of the reason why Lelouch was tending to Suzaku – combing his hair with gentle fingers and holding his hand as he retched – that made those two words seem utterly meaningless.

(Despite Lelouch smirking fondly and answering a smooth, deep: "Of course I will… idiot.")

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3: Haushinka – Green Day (friendship/angst) [1]

Suzaku had met a boy with a peculiar name. A name he'd never heard before – and damn he couldn't pronounce it correctly the first time hearing it. It was that peculiar name that Suzaku had used to describe the way that infuriating boy got under his skin. In Suzaku's ten year old brain, he couldn't think of any word that existed in his inadequate dictionary that could appropriately describe the annoyance emitted from Lelouch.

After a certain run in with his little sister – also strangely named – who had fallen into one of the many pitfalls Suzaku had set (yes, he had also fallen into his own trap) he learned of the truths that made up Lelouch and their true reasons for residing in one of his favorite (pretend) bases.

Somehow after that story was told by that sweet (funny how Suzaku hadn't noticed how nice she was before) girl Lelouch began to mean something else.

Lelouch started to mean many things he couldn't pinpoint…

Soon their bickering was traded for friendly banter and their time was spent less apart and more together. In that short time of knowing the boy – it could have never been long enough – he was whisked away from Suzaku; and all he was left with were fond memories and an aching heart, and that peculiar name.

It wasn't until then that Suzaku found the real meaning of Lelouch's name… but it was much too late.

Why couldn't Suzaku have figured it out before, before disaster struck and tore their world apart?

Suzaku wondered if maybe Lelouch knew, if maybe he had learned – he was really smart, after all – but even if he did, it didn't really matter because Lelouch was miles away. There was no way Suzaku could tell him now… he was too late. If only Suzaku had known before…

Lelouch no longer meant irritation to the highest degree but something else entirely, something young Suzaku believed with all his heart.

Lelouch meant love – it couldn't mean anything else. It could never mean anything else.

(And it really showed in all the ways he cared for Nunnally and in all the ways and things he sacrificed – sometimes even for Suzaku – that made it clear as day. Lelouch labored out of love and there wasn't a thing he wouldn't do because of that love.)

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4: Do It Again – Queens of the Stone Age (smut) [2]

"Again…" Lelouch orders out breathy and quietly in Suzaku's ear as he lay hunched over and huffing.

It makes Lelouch crazy in all the ways that don't feel natural to him (although it is probably the most natural thing to feel), clouding his brain in the most frightening but electrifying way. Not being able to think a single thought other than "again!" over and over isn't the most comfortable state of mind for him; being heavily reliant on his exceptional cerebral organ. But being this intoxicated by such an action… it's ok to feel mentally numb for a while, especially if Suzaku will do it again.

(It was an arduous task at first that didn't go without some suffering on Suzaku's end – no pain no gain, right? – but now… fitted together so tightly and no way to be any closer than they already are…)

He pushes himself up to look at Suzaku in the eyes, seeing that hazy glaze over green orbs that he feels coating his own brain. Suzaku's hair is disheveled and sticking to his forehead, his face powdered red with swollen lips. The beautiful skin on his chest glistens with each soft heave for air – neither of them can seem to get enough oxygen.

He's calmed a bit in the pause, relaxed a bit as well, save for that one thing…

"I… I want you, to do it again," Lelouch says easily hiding gasps under his words as they flow from his lips in a composed, maybe somewhat sweet, tone.

A blink flutters over Suzaku's eyes before he smiles gently, faintly providing a smirk to the heated mess staring down at him before he complies with Lelouch's wishes—

Instantly his plum eyes squeeze closed and that breath he so consciously held in his lungs escapes in a gasp that bleeds into a short hiss. So tight with nowhere else to go – Lelouch is so close to losing it. Maybe just one more…

Not able to oppress the quick gasps pumping his chest, Lelouch cracks open his eyes in something that could be taken as a glare. Suzaku is still smiling at him smugly although his eyes are also half-closed and his breathing is escaping faster through his parted lips—

Lelouch grabs his upper arms vehemently and leans down to kiss Suzaku hard on the mouth with dry lips (as if Suzaku should be the smug one here) as he forces those last few thrusts that turn his brain into quivering mush for a moment in blinding ecstasy.

(He was right: it is ok to feel that empty headed while his body trembles in an anticipated release…)

The wet warmth from Suzaku paints their torsos as Lelouch falls down on top of him – yet again – and they breathe deeply for a few brainless moments. It is sticky between them, but Lelouch doesn't care; not as long as they can do this over and over again.

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5: Friday-Saturday – Boy Kill Boy (general) [5]

Suzaku's limitless energy never proves to be a good attribute at convenient times for Lelouch. It's always when he would much rather be sleeping, or perhaps devising and perfecting his latest Black Knight's function to further insert themselves into the side of the Britannian Empire. Or when he'd really rather not be near Milly and her insidious mind.

(He wishes Suzaku could just stow all of his vigor away for later dates – like when they're alone. Then Lelouch certainly wouldn't mind seeing just how long Suzaku's gas tank can last.)

But spending the duration of Friday night trapped with the rest of the Student Council – even Kallen has been ensnared by the hook of Milly's "friendship" (more like fiendship) – prowling the city like lost kids at a carnival was almost inescapable – not when those big emerald eyes were on him.

Shirley was ecstatic that her precious Lulu obliged them by tagging along on their mindless wander of the city and has hovered around him closely all night – even as she tries to hide it.

Lelouch hung back with Suzaku who was also buzzing quite closely to him – essentially making him a bug zapper for his two devoted fans – and watched somewhat pityingly as Rivalz tried and failed to steal Milly's attention away from the clearly uninterested Kallen.

At the moment, he and Suzaku have parked at a quaint deck extension of a twenty-four hour (it must be past midnight by now at least) coffee place, halfheartedly monitoring the other half of their group as they mingle with some very shady characters across the street – all Milly's doing, of course.

Shirley has left their side for the first time the whole evening; stammering something about a drink she wanted to buy inside.

A light brush over his hand reels his focus onto the brunet sitting next to him – seeing a little smile emerge on his lips—

(This area is awfully crowded – it is the weekend – full of belligerent drunks and belligerent non-drunks, but while these people swarm together and clash like fish flopping up-stream, Lelouch knows he and Suzaku are truly alone for this brief moment. The masses won't pay the two boys any mind, as they're too busy trying to find wherever it is they left theirs.)

—So he curls his fingers around Suzaku's welcoming hand under the table, absolutely glowing in the illumination of the neon signs. The look in Suzaku' eyes suggest that he isn't running on empty yet; his hand squeezing and toying with Lelouch's to hint in silent language just how much energy he really has left to go on. But Lelouch is thoroughly tapped out—

Much to Lelouch's surprise, however, Suzaku leans forward and whispers affectionately – not lustfully – in his ear, "I loved being able to spend tonight at your side."

Lelouch will not admit that plucked one of his heart strings; but he does grant a maudlin grin to slur his usually bored lip-line when Suzaku pulls away.

He is about to ask if Suzaku has enjoyed this time even though they weren't alone—

But then Shirley makes her debut at their table and all Lelouch can do is release Suzaku's hand.

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6: Suzy Creamcheese – The Caesars (angst/hurt) [7]

It is something Zero stands against, something all of his followers proudly snarl at, something Lelouch looks down upon—

As it rests in his hand, loaded and ready to inject vain bliss into his bloodstream, to smolder his brain with twirling lights of blasts from his past that always tell him those elegant lies so sweetly; their voices like honey seeping into his ears.

The trigger of that refrain gun tempting him so sensually with its toxic acquaintance to all his other previous uses – that always left him aching and crying alone on the cold, hard tile floor of the clubhouse bathroom—

"Mary Me."

His eyes clench shut, crinkling together until his vision blurs and warps painfully; the muted and pounding lights unsuccessful in their attempt to erase all those… lies—

—"I loved being able to spend tonight at your side—"

—"That IDIOT!" Lelouch screeches – his hand still trembling as it pushes that dependant drug's needle so enticingly excruciatingly into the inside of his pale and worn – punctured – elbow.

His cry is unheard in his corner of solitude at this night time rendezvous where all the other addicts are mumbling their own happy days to themselves. That infernal boy (fake brother) is as far away as Lelouch can imagine him to be. Not lingering near Lelouch like the very parasite he is, not stealing all the love Lelouch could be giving too—!

Slow and shaky is the breath that shudders past Lelouch's lips as his slender – reliant – finger squeezes the trigger; needing so desperately to shoot away all this pain, this acidic taste of betrayal, the sinking feeling of his hardening heart.

He closes his eyes, hearing the thick clink of the refrain gun falling from his perception to the steady ground… his reality convulsing and watering into the heavenly world he used to scour with—

His eyes open – unseeing to the natural world – exposing the wall of tears glossing over the absence of his mind's eye while they cascade down his cheeks in steady streams (…just like that trickle of blood that stormed down his forehead…). He smiles, seeing the warm and vibrant Suzaku that is always here for him, hearing the new sound of this dimension that always waits for him—

Refraining to let the troubles of reality poison this world…

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7: Mommy's Little Monster – Social Distortion (general) [8]

That's what Suzaku compared Lelouch to after everything they had been through; but now he strides alongside the strutting new Emperor – the monster in human's skin as far as the rest of the world is concerned. Suzaku sends his secretive glances at the teen tyrant when he thinks the other isn't looking or isn't aware of it. The miserable memory of Lelouch slaying his parents – not unlike when Suzaku had done away with his own father – always reflects in his possessed eyes.

They don't speak of that time. Whether it is because it is too painful (because not only did Lelouch murder his parents, he also signed his death warrant with his own murderer) or it is not needed to be recalled, Suzaku cannot say. But he is sure it is a combination of the two.

He doesn't even like to think about it any longer.

All that time they had spent apart all Suzaku could think was that Lelouch was just a monster – a demon born only to create destruction – and as he stood next to the beast responsible for so much devastation (slaughterer of his sweet, sweet Euphemia (the only woman he would ever love) who only wanted peace) it was all Suzaku's blood lust wanted: to have Lelouch bleed for all the wrongs that he committed.

Beforehand, Suzaku knew nothing of the ex-emperor's whims or harbored ideals, he knew nothing of the mother that Lelouch longed to have for eight years. Suzaku knew nothing of the recipe that baked this demon who craved destruction—

He didn't understand that this monster wanted destruction so that it could recreate, repair this broken world. (He couldn't understand that the true monsters were the ones that created the beast.) Lelouch was just a bratty boy that threw a fit – or waged a war – because he didn't have what he wanted…

Just mommy's little monster.

But with everything revealed, everything that made Lelouch that disguised demon he portrays so well out in the open, Suzaku realized his judgment's mistake. Lelouch isn't a demon; he's an angel in demon's clothing (not the monster in human's skin). Just a lost little boy trying to salvage something of a dream he can never enjoy. Just a scared little boy – again, not unlike Suzaku himself – who wants to create a world without monsters that churn out but more monsters that will plague this earth.

And Suzaku finally realizes that he loves this demon, and that he always has – that is why it cut so deep to see Lelouch's face emerge from that split mask, the clenching feeling of betrayal from the one he loved most…

Because Suzaku loves this beast he will go along with the charade that it acts out so well; playing the part that was cast onto it—

Being just what mommy made Lelouch to be: a monster.

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8: At Conception – Cursive (crack/AU) [0]

Suzaku has had morning sickness for too long now. He didn't understand why. All his life Suzaku has had an iron stomach; he can count the number of times he's thrown up on one hand – without using all his fingers at that.

Until recently, that is.

At first Suzaku wants to believe it is the awful military food they shove at him three times a day – but no; he still lurched into the toilet when nothing was consumed by him.

Suzaku begins to worry; the kind of worry that knots his stomach and would probably make him sick if he weren't already.

So he pays a visit to the kooky physician that he otherwise tries to avoid.

After some tests are done, the lanky, lab-coat wearing man comes back with a wide grin that might be a smirk if it were under a different light.

"Congratulations Suzaku Kururugi, you are with child."—

(Asplund adjusts his glasses as he announces this, the words falling from his lips like a lazy breeze; all with that shadowy smile on his lips.)

—Suzaku nearly has a heart-attack as it jumps to his throat and sucks the blood from his face.

Asplund looks down at the soldier sitting on the paper covered bed, "Did you hear me?" he asks slyly but still in a light drawl.

Oh, Suzaku heard him, there's no doubting that, he just doesn't want to acknowledge the information that was blown into his brain – the information that is the source of his uncharacteristic sickness.

"I can't be," Suzaku whispers, looking down at his hands as they fist loosely.

Asplund nods offhandedly, "Oh, you certainly are. I have checked twice, there's no mistaking it." Then he adds with an unwelcome smirk that really is a smirk, "You are very much pregnant."

Suzaku feels tears burning his eyes and spilling over, his hands clenching tightly, "But—!" he cuts himself off.

Asplund lifts one eyebrow, "This is supposed to be good news, isn't it? Because of this you're being released."

Suzaku shakes his head fiercely, "No!! It's terrible news…!" he sniffles, wiping his face with the back of his arm.

"Why, your significant other doesn't want children?" (Disregarding the fact that both of them are still only teenagers and one of them is in the army – what does Lloyd Asplund know?)—

Suzaku freezes like he's caught in a horrible photograph—

Asplund arcs his eyebrow again—

Suzaku bursts into more desolate tears, "I haven't seen my boyfriend in half a year!"

His other eyebrow joins its partner up high on his brow and he laughs quite loudly, "My, my~ you're not exactly the Virgin Mary, are you?"

.

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9: The Ballad of Michael Valentine – The Killers (romance/angst) [6]

Lelouch Lamperouge, a.k.a., top lady killer on campus.

Suzaku took some pride in knowing that he was the wrangler that managed to lasso the stunning stallion – even though no one else knew it.

He reveled – a bit guiltily, sometimes – every time another girl was turned away by Lelouch's indifferent snubs. He remembers the way each sparkle in those doe-eyes dimmed after a cool rejection from the lips of the boy that always came to smother his but moments later. He relished how the flocks of girls started to fall away; veering off to perch and cackle to each other, complaining about how noncommittal Lelouch was and probably will be for the rest of his life – while he watched them from the rooftop, dazedly trying to redress himself.

Suzaku noted how deliciously that same shimmer coated Lelouch's eyes every time their stares connected. He admired how often Lelouch, subtly, went out of his way to be nearer to his secret boyfriend, lingering close by at all times. He enjoyed how elaborate Lelouch became when trying to tell him how much he reciprocated those unspeakable feelings – always beating around the bush, but always right on the mark with his selected words (although it was really Lelouch's actions that spoke louder than any eloquent words his skilled tongue could combine) – just like all his seekers had done. He loved the way Lelouch draped his thin body over his own muscular one in bed as if he was afraid Suzaku might try to run away…

Suzaku began to hate how they saw less and less of each other after finally reuniting from what felt like a life-time of separation. He loathed how Lelouch would lean towards – favor – the Black Knights rather than support him in his more peaceful efforts. He couldn't stand how it felt like he was beginning to drift apart from his lover who seemed to have fewer and fewer words to say to him (…ever since he was revealed as the pilot of Lancelot…) almost as if Lelouch wasn't sure what to say – or maybe because he was reluctant to tell a lie, so he figured it was better to stay silent than to be sorry.

Suzaku wished there wasn't an invisible wall forming between them—

And he wished he didn't notice the way Princess Euphemia's eyes sparkled whenever they gazed at him…

.

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10: Who Wants to Live Forever? – Queen (tragedy) [9]

Nothing lasts forever. Not even this world wide peace will reach to the end of time – Lelouch understands this. However, his efforts will not be and are not in vain. By this time tomorrow, all that inhabit this Earth will know the true embrace of liberty, the true face of justice, the true end to what was thought to last forever – the reign of a demon that snatched every piece of land like a child unwilling to share with his lesser mates.

Today is the last day for them, tomorrow everything will change – and tomorrow the demon's knight will be the bringer of that new world, all of it will build upon his already crowded shoulders. Tomorrow he will be alone.

But tonight, tonight is their forever – this moment will live in the knight's memory far from the ugly lies and truths that will sluice this sullied world so it can start anew. Nothing can ever steal this night away from them – these two boys who dared to make a forever out of anything: their friendship, their love, their hatred, their pride, their sadness… Their lives were so carelessly thrown together, and yet they fought to keep within arm's reach so they could have something that could outlast everything else.

They were so foolish to believe in forever, especially when all they were ever searching for was an end.

Now their time is up, and all they can do is dream and wish about a forever they can never have. Everything they ever were is alive and burning between sheets that strangle their rocking bodies. It suffocates their woeful tears as their murmuring lips kill those salty tracks with words that will echo forever. Their fingers try to find every place they might have forgotten they could touch before their one great moment must end in a blinding flash of bliss and misery.

It is as Suzaku is grabbing at Lelouch's skin – trying to plead with the evil of the world that this isn't the end, that this isn't their last time – that Lelouch is brought to ponder C.C. and all her past's ghosts that haunt her memory. He wonders if this is how she once reacted to someone she loved so profoundly before they out-grew her unnatural lifespan. He wonders if this is how it felt for her to see someone so desperately grasp at her body and beg for a promise that there will be a tomorrow – forever – to be had together.

He wonders, then, as Suzaku sobs like one of those children who had their possession stolen away from them, burying as deeply as possible into Lelouch's arms, if this pain of heartache will last forever.

But Lelouch will offer a sweet, undersized smile to the boy who claimed to love him forever in every bed they had ever shared, to the boy who claimed that he was a mistake that didn't deserve to exist, to the boy who promised to carry on their common dream – even though they cannot truly share it, even though it is not the dream they had described on their last night together – just before he plunges into the end with the sour face of justice upon his head.

As he kills the forever they were never meant to have for the forever that can only last inside his mind – as the world moves on in a flourish of jubilance that they now have a better tomorrow to live in, forever…



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