When The Fate Belongs to The Sins

BY : Ryuunosuke
Category: Rurouni Kenshin > Het - Male/Female
Dragon prints: 512
Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin, nor any of the characters from it. I don't make any money from the writing of this story.

Sanosuke and Megumi quietly ate lunch and washed the dishes together. Megumi went to check the patient and gave him some medicine. The snow began to fall slowly, probably a snowstorm is going to come again. All the streets were full of snow, and during these snowstorms people were not able to dig it normally.

“So... how long are you going to be here?” A lady doctor asked after an uncomfortable silence.

“As much as you need, foxy. You know, we haven’t seen each other for so long, but all the time when I was in other countries, I was thinking about the day I can return to Japan and see my friends. You have always been, and you will be a special person in my life, you have saved my life many times.”

“As I can see, your right hand looks normal now.” She smiled. “How you lived without fighting?”

“As you can see, I have more brains than you think.”

“But... don’t you really remember what you were doing in those years when we didn’t know anything about you? I was so worried, you didn’t write any letters, and I thought... that you never came back...”

“Calm down, kitsune*, I never betrayed my friends, even if I make mistakes sometimes.” Sanosuke looked through the window. “What do I remember... that I was leaving Japan and what I was doing five years after. And then nothing. Ten years just disappeared somehow. One day I woke up and realized that I was not the same person as before. I still remember how I wrote a letter to jou-chan* and Yahiko. Then they asked me to find Kenshin and help him come back home because I was in China at the time. They didn’t tell me all the details, but when I saw Kenshin, I realized that he was seriously ill. That’s why I had to help him.”

“Did you... brought him home?”

“I carried him with a horse for some time, but later I showed him a ship that he would take to Japan quicker. I knew that he would die soon, so I just said goodbye and...”

“Well... you’ll probably have to stay here longer to figure out what happened to you. Maybe it’s an amnesic form and it has happened to you for some kind of... shocking accident?”

“Don’t worry about me, kitsune, I’ll be fine. I promised Kenshin that I will live just like him, I will be honest and upstanding, and I will never tolerate any more anger inside me.”

“You’re really grown up, rooster-head. And you don’t arguing with me like before.”

“Yeah... really so...” Sanosuke suddenly turned to her. “Listen, maybe you want me to make dinner today?”

“What did you say?” Megumi was surprised. “You want to say that you know how to cook, but you went to the Dojo* all the time and complained about Kaoru’s cooking skills?”

“Of course, I always had a clue how to cook, but I was too lazy to make money and eat my own food.” A silly smile appeared in his face. “Even when I was with Kenshin, I cooked special dishes for him to recover his strength.”

The woman was even more surprised. It was strange to her that Sanosuke never tried to cook something in Kaoru’s kitchen. She slowly came closer and, as if she didn’t understand herself, gently stroked his hand, then cupped his fingers with her palms.

“Thank you for take care of Kenshin.”

“It’s not a big deal. You don’t have to thank me.”

Sanosuke for some time looked disturbed at Megumi, holding his hand. He didn’t even know what to do, either to step aside and not to rush out the moment, or to let everything go its own way. He chose to wait. As if she realized she was too close, she went away promptly.

“Well... you can show me your special dish today.” She sighed. “I’ll go to the store and buy everything you need, okay?”

Sanosuke was a little surprised.

“You don’t have to cold outside, I’ll go by myself, and later I dig the snow from the road to allow people to get to the clinic better.”

Megumi looked at him right in the eyes.


“What do you mean?”

“You... you’re too good for me...” And suddenly she turned away. “I’ve done so many bad things in the past... I know what you said and I can’t forget it, but... Nobody loved me so much, I only needed them as a doctor. I feel like... I’m not worth it. It looks like I was living just for work here and I don’t need anything else. But it’s not the case, I am a human and I also need to live my life. All the years when you were gone... I didn’t see anything but wounds, blood, illnesses and pain. Everyone visited me without thinking about how I feel. But you and Ken-san... you showed me that you care about me. Only for your sake I found my vocation and tried to atone my sins. But even when it’s been more than fifteen years, I... I don’t feel like I atone them at all. Maybe... our fate belongs to the sins, that’s why I am all alone.”

“Megumi.” For a while silent, Sanosuke said with a husky voice. “You’ll never be alone, I will always be around.”

“You don’t have to...”

“But I want too. I know what it means when you can’t see your family, although you know they are alive. Your father died and you were separated from your mother and brothers. It should have been your hardest time, but you’re re-united with your family, right? You came to Aizu because of it?”

“Yes.” She smiled. “But I’m too busy to be with my family all the time.”

“Don’t be so harsh, Megumi, make yourself a holiday and be sure to visit them.”

“Hai* Sanosuke, but...” The woman was about to grab him by the arm, but he went to the door. “But what about your family?”

But he didn’t hear her words and went out into the yard. Megumi had no courage to go after him, so she stayed inside. Although she had a fireplace at home, it was still cold somehow. The winter was colder than usual though. Maybe it wasn’t a cold period, but a gloomy mood that never changed after Kenshin and Kaoru died. She never felt so sad. The last time was when she lost her family and lived completely alone. But after five years she met Kenshin and his comrades. From that time she felt she is in her new family. Those good people gave her hope of living further.

She clearly remembered that Sanosuke hadn’t wanted to take her to their family from the very beginning. Kaoru told her that they all live together and consider themselves as a family because they all lost their true families and remained alone in the world. Just like her. Megumi had to feel happy to find such good people, but she didn’t. That day was very painful for her because she was guilty of the death of Sanosuke’s friend. She didn’t blame him for his despite, she only blamed herself for failing to suicide or escape from the Edo Castle earlier. But now the woman was happy that she didn’t commit suicide, and Sanosuke forgave her and... maybe... one day...

Megumi shook her head.

“Why do I think about it? Sanosuke saved my life, but that doesn’t mean he loves me. He flirted with me more than once before, but now... when so many years have passed... I think I’m getting too old to think about it. I am better off thinking about my job, I will never be a good doctor if I don’t think about what I really need. I have never told Sanosuke that I secretly love him, but it’s too late now...”

The lady doctor slowly went to the corridor, thinking about the past. She couldn’t forget the day when Sanosuke came to rescue her. She was just going to the Edo Castle, and he was standing serious, leaning against the gate, and waited for her to come. And then... he said what she had never expected. The same Sanosuke Sagara, who hated her for the death of his friend, came to tell her what she should do. Is he really worried about her? Megumi still couldn’t believe it. Why? Why did he forgave so easily after everything she did?

“What are you planning to do?” He asked. “Going back to Kanryuu and all...”

“Don’t worry.” She smiled unnaturally. “I won’t make more of the opium that killed your friend. I promise you.”

“You know that Kanryuu isn’t going to like that.” He started walking closer to her.

“I told you, I will keep my promise.” She said seriously when he stood right in front of her. “So don’t get in my way. I’m in a hurry.”

Megumi was already going, but suddenly she froze.

“Don’t hurry yourself to your death!” Anger was flashing at Sanosuke’s eyes and he spoke with a much stronger and louder voice. “Missie, you got Kenshin and me, Sanosuke, at your side. Don’t you go worrying too much.”

“You’re...” Megumi was surprised and turned to him.

“The girls are waiting for you at the Dojo. And somewhere out there, your family is too...”

“It’s all right.” She smiled again with a fake smile and tried not to cry in front of him. “Even if I were to find my family, how could I face them? I’m a part of an illegal opium ring. I can’t erase such a dirty past.”

“Don’t be so stuck up!” His voice grew even louder and stricter. “You’re not the only one with the past that you want to erase! It’s not like my friend will come back to life if you died! If you stay alive, you can repent. Someday, there will be a day when you see your family again. If you die, all that becomes nothing.”

Megumi still remembered how deep and sincere his voice was. Her whole body was trembling. She realized that Sanosuke would never have forgive himself if something bad had happened to her. He was not a person who never cares about others. He could do anything to protect his friends, even if it would cost his own blood. He didn’t really care about it. That’s what Megumi realized then. And she was happy that Sanosuke can be very observant and understanding, if it’s necessary, even if at times he seemed stupid or even ruffian in his actions.

It was the first time the woman wasn’t just sad by dead Sanosuke’s friend, but was afraid of his life. That day they didn’t go home together so easily. One of Oniwabanshuu*, named Shikijou, got on their way. Sanosuke had to make a lot of effort to defeat him, but poor man was brutally head-butted. Megumi felt guilty that she involved others in her troubles, and they got injured. However, Sanosuke was strong and enduring, and managed to stand up in beating the enemy after the head-butt. And Megumi clearly didn’t remember what happened next, she saw Beshimi’s face in front of her. After that everything was filled with darkness. When she woke up, she was in the Edo Castle at Kanryuu, trying to kill him...

Megumi tried not to think about it anymore, it was her most terrible nightmare. But now it was over, Kanryuu was locked in prison and there was nothing to fear about.

“Oi*, kitsune!”

The woman shook a little.

“Oh, you’re back.”

“Yeah. Where to put all this stuff?”

“The kitchen’s here.” Megumi brought him to its way, but she suddenly realized. “Hey, how did you find the store? You didn’t even asked me.”

“I saw it on the way to you. Just wait and you’ll see my cooking skills. I believe you never ate anything like that, I found that recipe in China.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Sorry, but it’s a secret, foxy.” Sanosuke smiled innocently and put products on the table. “Well, it’s too early for dinner, I can dig the snow now, do you have a shovel?”

“Yes, it’s in the shed. But... wait, Sano...”

“What is it?”

“You are just my guest, you don’t have to. Before that, I did it by myself so many times.”

“You don’t need to when you have a strong man here. Be inside, today it’s extremely cold. And it’s your birthday after all.”

“But I want to help you. Now I’m free, no patients around. That one in the clinic just fell asleep again...”

Sanosuke waited a little.

“Well, okay. But when you get cold, go inside quickly.”

“All right, Sanosuke, don’t worry so much about me.”

“Let’s go, it’s getting dark.”

Megumi showed him where the shed was, and they started digging snow off the road. Although the woman felt uncomfortable that the guest was working, she was still pleased with his help, since all her assistants were away and no one could help her. She knew that they would take a lot of time with their patients, because there was a mysterious condition around that infected Kenshin and Kaoru, and there was no medicine to heal it. But the alchemists worked hard to find it out.

Megumi stopped to rest and turned to look at Sanosuke. He was so busy working that he didn’t even noticed her look. She wondered how he had changed. In the past, she needed to get him to work, but now he was willing to do everything himself, he even intended to cook something. She believed that it would be delicious. Now she had absolutely no doubts about his words somehow. She didn’t even felt how she smiled, but the cold wind destroyed all her thoughts. Megumi rubbed her hands to warm up and didn’t saw how Sanosuke stopped working and came closer.

“Hey, kitsune, go inside already, I’m almost finished.”

“Hai.” She said. “I’ll make some hot tea again.”

“Yes. But when I come, you will leave the kitchen, okay?”

“What is so special about the dish?”

“You will see, it will be your second birthday gift, and now hurry up until your fingers get blue.”

Megumi looked at Sanosuke for a moment, turning to work again, and went home. After half an hour he finally appeared in the interiors. It was so warm inside that he dressed off his cape and sat down at the table, where Megumi had placed a steaming cup of tea.

“Rooster, are you hurt?” Megumi gasped suddenly.

“Huh?” Sanosuke looked down at his bleeding wound. “Nothing bad, it’s already three days.”

“It probably opened, you didn’t need to dig a snow. You said you are much more careful!”

“Yeah, but I wanted to do you a favor.” He smiled.

“Okay, now I’ll do a favor for you.” The woman stood up and brought her medicine box. “Take off your sarashi*, I’ll fix you up.”

Megumi didn’t wait until he answered something and began to uncover his wound. Her soft but cold fingers tickled his abdomen, and he shivered a bit. The woman felt it and stopped for a short time.

“What’s wrong?” The former gangster asked.

“I just... I thought you might... be cold. You need a blanket or something.”

“No, it’s warm enough here.”

“You think so? But it’s really very cold to me.”

“Maybe I need to warm you up?”

The woman’s eyebrows twitched.

“Do you really want to be so close to me?”

“Um... well...” Sanosuke blushed and started to scratch his head, what was usual for him in awkward situations. “Would it be so bad?”

“I’m fine, don’t worry about that.”

“But you are freezing. Your hands seem very cold. Oh, I know, just take it.” Sanosuke lifted his cape and covered her shoulders with it. “Well, it should be warmer now. Drink some tea and you’ll really get better.”

Megumi smiled a little. What happened? He’s never been so good to her, and now he’s even wrapped her with his garment. The woman smelled its pleasant smell and it was much easier for her to bind up Sanosuke’s wound. The cape was still very warm and she could admit that she liked it. She wanted this day never to end. And when Sanosuke finally went to make dinner, she tried to imagine being his wife and that it lasts for many years. Now she knew what it would mean if they really were spouses. She never imagined that Sanosuke could be so good when he didn’t tease her and took more serious action.

‘But doesn’t he do it just because today is my birthday?’ Megumi thought. ‘Everything looks like a dream, but it’s so realistic... Still, he missed me a lot. But what will happen later? Will he just leave me? Will he leave like in the day he had to flee from Japan? He probably has a lot of things to do in Tokyo, no wonder if he goes out, but why I don’t want to let him go?’ The woman touched the cup with her lips. ‘I don’t know his feelings for me, I must figure it out. But how?’

“Here, kitsune, try this.” After an hour Sanosuke brought a tray and put it on the table. “You should like it.”

“I really hope it’s not a poison.” Megumi laughed. “Otherwise, I will kill you in the afterlife.”

“Your tongue is still as sharp as before.”

She looked at the dish.

“And what’s here?”

“Just try it already!”

The woman didn’t tease him anymore and agreed that it’s time to eat. And when she put the first bite in her mouth, she realized that she never ate anything like that before. But after that a much better thing happened. Megumi’s assistants after work decided to go to her and hold a party. The birthday has never been so entertaining and noisy. The woman was happier than usual, because Sanosuke was nearby, and she wore his cape all evening and felt surrounded by his warmth.

After the party, everyone just fell asleep on the floor, except Sanosuke and Megumi. They put guests on the extra futons* they had at home to make them comfortable to sleep, plus they could freeze on the floor.

“Well then...” Sanosuke sighed. “I think it’s time to go home. Yahiko and Tsubame are waiting for me.”

Megumi got sad a little.

"Wait, Sano, I... Do you really want to come home in such a cold night and when it’s so dark?”

The man looked at her for a moment.

“Are you really so worried about me?”

“Of course, you baka*! I’m always worried about you.”

“Okay.” He sighed. “If I stay here, there are no extra futons here.”

“I have one in the other room.”

“Are you serious? We will have to share a futon?!”

“Of course, I don’t want you to sleep on the floor and get cold. Besides... besides, I have two blankets, if it’s better for you.”

“Fine, I give up and I’m staying here, don’t look at me with such sad eyes!”

Megumi smiled a bit and brought Sanosuke to the room. They rolled out the futon together, put pillows and blankets, and then the woman took out the jinbei*.

“Wait, why do you have a man’s sleepwear in your home?” Do you have a husband?” Sanosuke asked.

“This is my brother’s. They both come to visit me often and sometimes they stay at night.” She explained. “You are very lucky you don’t have to sleep naked. But now, while I’m dressing, don’t look at me, you pervert!”

“There is nothing you can hide from me, kitsune.”

“Turn away and don’t try to look at me, do you understand? We are not married, Sanosuke, and you can’t see me like that.”

“Okay, okay.”

Sanosuke turned and closed his eyes. He heard slowly slipping clothes from Megumi’s body and flushed slightly. Then he felt how she crawled under the blanket.

“Okay, I’m done, it’s your turn now.” She said. “I’m not looking at you.”

The man quickly undressed and also crawled down under his blanket. They were turned their backs to each other, Sanosuke lay stationary, because he didn’t want to touch her.

‘Damn it! How will I have children with her if I’m even afraid to look at her?’ He thought. ‘How I will be able to touch her?’

“Sanosuke?” Megumi said after uncomfortable silence.

“Don’t worry, I’m not gonna rape you.”

"No, not that. I wanted to thank you for everything you have done today.”

“No prob. I don’t want to be the same as my father. I don’t want you to afraid of me.”

“I’m not scared of you at all.”

“Sometimes I’m acting like my father, but I’ll try to change. I don’t want to end like him.”

Megumi sighed deeply. She wanted to ask what happened to his father, but she didn’t dare, and Sanosuke didn’t bother himself to tell.

“I wonder if Yahiko and Tsubame are worried about me.” He said.

“I hope they will understand why you are here.” Megumi whispered. “Good night, Sanosuke...”

And she fell asleep. However, Sanosuke wasn’t. He was thinking of what to do next. Only when he convinced that Megumi really asleep, he turned and looked at her. The sleeping woman was even more beautiful. It seemed that nobody would disturb this silence and peace, but so much has been untold...

Kitsune – Fox.

Jou-chan – little missie or missy (Kaoru here).

Dojo – a training place for martial arts or swordsmanship (Kaoru trained Yahiko and other students there).

Hai – Yes.

Oniwabanshuu – Spies of the Edo period who would probably be called a kind of ninja today. Composed of those skilled in the arts of combat, they concealed themselves as shadows throughout the Shogun’s and daimyos’ estates to protect those within.

Oi – Hey.

Sarashi – a long, winding strip of cloth, usually thick cotton, wrapped tightly around the midriff up to the chest. Historically, samurai wore them under their kimonos, to resist injury.

Futon – a thin Japanese mattress that is rolled up for the day.

Baka – Idiot, jerk.

Jinbei – a kind of traditional Japanese clothing worn by men, women, boys, girls, and even babies during the summer. Jinbei are usually worn as a form of nightwear or house wear.

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