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Reviews for Not Supposed To Happen

By : inuyashasgirl
  • From ANON - Megan Consoer on March 31, 2005
    I really like this story alot. Can you write some more chapters?
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  • From ANON - Ash on July 03, 2004
    Dude. This is so out of character I might cry. I love Vash/Meryl for all the reasons you shamelessly threw aside here. It felt like random porn....and first person really did not work. I know of no girl who ever has or ever will refer to herself as such: "My violet coloured eyes ... my short thick ebony hair ... " etc. I'd be happy to work with you on a revised version of this; the story has potential, after all. But now, it's rushed, vague, -bland-; like a two paragraph plot that was never really fleshed out.
    Like I said, please email me. We'll talk.
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  • From ANON - Killingislife on June 04, 2004
    This fic was awsome you could easily make a another I'd read it
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  • From ANON - Anon on May 10, 2004
    not much personalto tto the characters, which made it a less fulfilling read. things went too quickly and seemed fake. when writing a fic about two characters it's better to let the actual characters shine through rather than making it like a carbon-copy story where their names were filled in the blanks. if you're not good atpingping people in-character, then at least work on making things flow more and seem less stilted and rushed.
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  • From ANON - Nikki on April 08, 2004
    Oh! *sob!* that was so beautiful! *sob* I want to know if you're making a sequal when Meryl gives birth. ^_~ Please do it as a request from me!
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  • From ANON - Nikki on April 08, 2004
    Oh! *sob!* that was so beautiful! *sob* I want to know if you're making a sequal when Meryl gives birth. ^_~ Please do it as a request from me!
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  • From ANON - Crickit on February 19, 2004
    I like this alot!! It is soo cute...and I love Meryl!! hehehe...I have not seen all of Trigun yet but..I have read the manga!! and i just love Vash...it was good i liked it alot!! You have much talent!!

    bai bai

    Crickit!
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  • From ANON - Karista on January 25, 2004
    EmpressGalaxia's review x2. I totally agree with her, couldn't have said it better myself...so I won't waste my time.
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  • From ANON - arukas on December 12, 2003
    Very sweet, a nice fic to read. But you overused the names a bit, cut out a few of the vash and meryl words and it will be perfect.
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  • From ANON - Ryan on December 10, 2003
    Nice. You managed to keep them both relitively in characterr, which for any lemon is crutial.
    So if they are getting married, does that mean that Meryl will take Vash's name as well? and if so what will that be? Meryl the Stampede?
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  • From ANON - Bojack727 on December 09, 2003
    This was nice, I hope you write more.
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  • From ANON - Ickabod119 on December 03, 2003
    Very Intersting one shot!!! I like it so I think you should do a sequel to where it is a three way between Inuyasha/Kagome/Kikyou if you want!! Just a request! I would also like to say I love you inu/Kag lemons they are meant to be together & you write some great ones!!
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  • From Hatchan on December 02, 2003
    It's funny...I'm in the Trigun section, these characters are named "Vash" and "Meryl", and yet - I have no idea who they are. Vash, forever pushing people out of his life so they won't get hurt, suddenly begging for someone to stay. Meryl, who hides her emotions behind a bitchy facade, weeping to him. Oh, also, good, practical Meryl, if she knew it was her "fertile period" off the top of her head, would most certainly use some kind of birth control.

    Well, onto the smut. First person present tense narration really doesn't work here. In fact, present tense very very very rarely works. Also, never actually write moans and groans as dialogue. Add them onto your dialogue tags. Really, what sounds better? "She moaned as his tongue parted her delicate folds, her mouth quivering as she whispered, 'Don't stop,'" or "Unnnh! Don't stop!" Watch less porn and read more romance novels. ...Not that I have anything against porn, but there's a difference between the visual and literary media.

    Read more smut. On the bright side, you can only get better, right?

    >^..^
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