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Reviews for Marriage Case

By : Zerianyu
  • From ANON - Sosoru (not logged in) on May 29, 2004
    Hey, haven't seen you in a while. Cool update.
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  • From ANON - K-GT on May 28, 2004
    great job!
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  • From ANON - Shiro Ryu on April 23, 2004
    I am so glad you updated! I am also glad you didn't get discouraged by that reviewer. Also, thank you for dedicating the last chapter to me. I loved you last chapter. I especially liked the little infusion of playfullness in the lovemaking (you know, when Misao licked Aoshi's belly button). It gives a very human element to the lemon (tickling matches are fun too ^_^ ). I also thought the little spate of possessivneess coming from Aoshi (towards the end of the chapter) was really sweet. Oh, and I kind of like Karou as a flirt (great idea)!
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  • From ANON - alien*ryoko on April 22, 2004
    ok i juss finished readin' ur entire story, and i think thisa vea very original plot. dont get so upset 'bout wat sum reviewers said, u shouldnt make the chapters shorter. (that was complete bullshit) the fact that they are as long as they r shows ur putting effort into it. this story is awesum, i feel like im reading a script to a show. there's juss small things u could improve: i remember u said ur tryin' t' work on showin' more emotion; a way u could do that is changing POVs, and say wat the person's thinking.
    if u choose t' do this please put sumthing to indicate ur doing so,(*blah blah* 'blah babble') or else it gets confuseing'. u hav great potential as a writer, and i hope ya keep going. PLZ POST MORE SOON, I LUV M/A PAIRINGS!!! PLZ PLZ PLZ DONT WAIT TOO LONG T' UPDATE!! ~oo by the way nice lil lem ya got there ;)~
    =:*
    ryoko-chan *^____~=v
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  • From ANON - K-GT on April 16, 2004
    Hmmm, Dare I say great... yup! GREAT! I am so glad you updated, i have been missing this story greatlhankhanks Z.Z chan!
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  • From ANON - spirit demon on April 15, 2004
    i lov eit please update no sugetions here you r a good writer o yea can misao find out she is pregnet and start morning sickness and crap like that (but they still do the case)? pleaseeeeeeeeeeee
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  • From ANON - Shiro Ryu on March 29, 2004
    In response to one of your reviews: you do have some grammatical errors, however your characters are sound and your story idea is good! I think you have what it takes to write!
    Grammar is probably one of the easiest things to correct, albeit, tedious(I have to admit, grammar was never my forte. I always have to rewrite everything. I am constantly editing). It is just a technical skill that can be learned through practice and editing in multiple drafts (a good manual helps also). Creativity, on the other hand(which is essential to writing a story), is not so easily learned (and you have creativity in spades)! Grammar does not make the story (it is a component), it just helps make the story flow. Two books I would suggest are: "The Elements of Style" by Strunk& White, and, "Writing Down the Bones" by (I think) Natalie Goldberg. The book "Writing Down the Bones" is a very enjoyable read regarding writing, creativity, and the writing life. "The Elements of Style" is a thin (very thin) no nonsense book on the technical aspects of writing (i.e. grammar). Anyway, I am enjoying your story and hope you continue! ^__^

    P.S. Be careful of your inner critic! Write your first draft without concern for the technical aspects of writing. Get your story on paper, and then, after that, edit for grammar, puntuation, and spelling. I have always found that if I worry about grammar when I first start ot write, I never get anything written! That is why I suggest writing in multiple drafts.
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  • From ANON - Shiro Ryu on March 29, 2004
    I am so glad to see that you updated! You are still doing a wonderful job at keeping Misao and Aoshi in character, and their characters are developing nicely. I look froward to your next chapter!
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  • From ANON - raver on March 29, 2004
    hey, i hope you take this professionally. well, you really have to improve your grammar. you've got run-ons, dang mog modifiers, wrong prepositions, etc. everywhere. i mean, the words are all over the place! also, you kinda have a problem with the 'putting together' of words. i mean, i think you can express yourself better. well, it's really not your fault. some people can write and some people just don't have IT. i don't mean to make you feel bad but i think you're more of a reader than a writer. i do think that you can improve yourself a lot.
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  • From ANON - K-Gt on March 27, 2004
    Wow, great! I can't believe what an imp you are making Kaoru, this story is so unpredictable and that's what makes it great! i can't wait til you update, thanks for the great update! hope you do it again soon!!!
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  • From ANON - bLuEdArKnEsSs on March 27, 2004
    omg this is soo funny! really good 2..keep it up and update soon!!!
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  • From ANON - Sosoru(not logged in) on March 15, 2004
    I can help you with your lemons if you like. I do like the story thus far.
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  • From ANON - Shiro Ryu on March 15, 2004
    Last chapter was good! Don'try ary about the lemon, plot is more important (reviewer is now being beaten by hoards of hentai fanfic fans ^__^). Some of the best stories I've read only teased at a lemon, or did not get to the lemon until many chapters had passed. Anyway, I think you are doing just fine! Keep up the good work! ^__^
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  • From ANON - K-Gt on March 15, 2004
    YAY *claps* I do not know why you think you are bad at writing lemons... I have read alot and believe me that was good! I wanna know who that guy was... was it Sanosuke? was it was it huh? lol, oh yeah are himura-san and Kaoru-dono good?
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  • From ANON - K-GT on March 11, 2004
    FLAME! FLAME! FLAME!!! Ha ha just kidding, I absolutly loved it! You story is so unique it's wonderful, thanks for informing me of your update, i'd be sooo happy if you would do it again?
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