Adult-FanFiction.org : Anime

Reviews for Portrait Without Sin

By : animeyaoi

From ANON - MiMi on April 19, 2004
Excellent writing, filled with so much pain and anguish. Am I the only one who believes in Ryo when he denies it? Come on, people! My man Ryo doesn't lie, period! XD.
Report Review
From ANON - ahelpfulanon on April 19, 2004

Dee chased Ryou for TWO YEARS not five. The stories about Bikky and Carol I'm assuming taking after they got together. The author does a lot of time-line jumping. IE the Bikky and Carol centered stories take place after the Dee and Ryo centered ones.

Also when Dee smacked Ryo it's because Ryo was gonna fuck him, but for the wrong reasons, basically he wants Ryo to sleep with him because it something he wants, not because he just wants to forget his bad day.

And like it or not Dee is so massively OOC here that you might as well make him an orignal character, same for Ryo, sorry but you should writer the characters as they are, and vent your angst in an original fic.

I hope this helps
Report Review
From ANON - Devi on April 19, 2004
:) I'still loving this story. You're really doing a great job. Jeez, I'm becoming emotional over here...

Now just a little comment about your a/n in the beginning of chapter three. I don't believe Dee's chase spanned five years. Vol. 4 depicts Cal and Bikky older, but that does not actually follow the series. Am I even making sense? Sanami Matoh skipped around a little. Yeah, it's weird. Maybe I'm wrong? *shrug* I think that's how it goes.

But anyway, concerning that anonymous poster...I'm glad you've chosen to ignore him/her. Your writing is good and full of feeling. I remember writing GW fanfiction on FF.net, and no matter what fic I posted I believe I always got the comment "you're making so-and-so too weak! He's not like that in the series!"...or whatever. Such comments piss me off beyond belief. For the sake of the fic, you can make the characters however you wish, and given the theme you're doing a fantastic job.

Anyway, enough of my incoherent babbling! I'll say it again. I love this fic!m
Report Review
From ANON - raining_like_tears on April 19, 2004
Hey, read your new update. Must say my tears are like rain right now. This story really hurts. Poor Dee. The pain he must be going through. Anyway, I think you were right with your comment in the beginning. You warned us, and we decided to read it anyway. Every one of the stories here are the author's imagination of a script. These two have been raped, kidnapped, purchased as a slave, split up, and even been with other people like JJ, and I haven't read anything as nasty as the review you got slapped with! I think you did a good job in your reply to such a hateful flame. You're right about Dee's behavior in the series, and one can only imagine what their own reac wou would be should something like what you're writing about happened to them. Dee has always been protective of his feelings/heart, warning Ryo more than once... at least three that I remember clearly.
Yes, this story wrenches my guts and feel at a total loss. I can just imagine Dee's world crashing in on him. I know you just put up the 3rd chapter, bueaseease update soon....

Report Review
From ANON - Someone Out There on April 18, 2004
Woo-hoo....or perhaps I should say boohoo. I'm surprise someone a certain someone *won't mention Anon's name* -- oops -- can w bec because it's obvious that he couldn't read. You did say it was not a 'nice' fanfic in the beginning, with language, humiliation, and angst. Beyond that you gave a summary of betrayal. Further you even wrote you had their DVD and that's where you fell in with Ryo and Dee, and went and got their books. If a certain someone didn't want to get into a 'not nice' fanfic, they didn't need to continue to read it. Besides I'm trusting that your admittance of loving the couple was a hint that you weren't out there to trash them. Things like this DO HAPPEN! I think you're going somewhere with the story myself, even though it's eating my own guts right now.... and I'm 98% usually right when I read things and have a feeling about them.

Everyone that writes have their own right to their imagination of a story whether people like it or not. I think you started at the harshest part of your story and it smack a few people in the head so to speak. Got their attention, and that's the point. Whether they like it or hate it, that's there choice. Those who truely hates it, won't read it... then again they probably will -- that's the funny thing, cause as much as someone might hate something, they're still curious! They still want a bone to chew on so they can continue to snarl and snap, and if they do that, then they're reading it.

Give it all you got with your writing! I'm counting on being rightuse use I like to win....

Besides, you re-admitted to loving the two, and gave a hint about the story...guess old you-know-who ('Their name's Anon' a voice yells from back of the room) (Sorry other people read this too) -- couldn't read that part either or couldn't figure what you meant.

Report Review
From ANON - Anon on April 18, 2004
Please die you ignorant little bitch
Report Review
From ANON - Anon on April 18, 2004
Out of curiosity have you read the fucking series? Do you even have a clue to what your doing? I know doing crack and being a whore are taking up most of your time but please do me a favor and take this fic down and then cut off your hands so you never sully FAKE with your shit again.
Report Review
From ANON - raining_like_tears on April 18, 2004
Need to read more! Like you said in the first chapter, Dee's really upset...he was beyond upset. I think that you can see that he's really hurting ALOT to behave the way he is because other than that, knowing Dee, he wouldn't be acting like that toward Ryo. There are people out in the real world that would do something like this for other reasons, including using the excuse as being in pain, -- I've been in a relationship that would use that farse to be manipulating -- but we all know that Dee's not that kind of person.

He's also been shattered so deeply that he's not giving Ryo any time to say much of anything. I'm paralized to the spot! This is a real touchy situation. Will be waiting to read more.... *biting pillow*...
Report Review
From ANON - Anon on April 17, 2004
Why did Ryo do this? Hurry with the next chapter!!!!
Report Review
From ANON - muyoluv20 on April 16, 2004
GAHH THAT WAS EVIL!!!! *.* YOU MUST UPDATE!!!!!! I WAS SITTING HERE WANTING TO SHAKE MY COMP. AND SCREAM(EXCEPT I HAVE A ROOMMATE) SO I SAT HERE WITH A BANDANA BETWEEN MY TEETH. I will huggle you and send you lots of pocky if you update soon :BIG CHIBI EYES W/HANDS FOLDED INFRONT OF HER: PWEASE JA
Report Review
From ANON - Hong Mee on April 15, 2004
Oh boy... Chapter 2 is even more exciting! Well, truth be told I almost didn't want to know what Ryo was doing or why Dee was acting like that, but now I'm just dying with suspense. You've got a good story going on here. I've really never seen a fanfiction like this oneblasblast it to its full potential. Make the journey just as good as the end!
Report Review
From ANON - Devi on April 15, 2004
Ah, I can kind of see where you're going with this, but hey, I could come out surprised. Great fanfic, and nice writing style. I'm interested in the reading next chapter.
Report Review
From ANON - Obi Chan on April 15, 2004
Well, the story is ok but that's only because it's the first few chapteI hoI hope you will continue the story though because i want to find out what happens and see how good it gets.
Report Review
From ANON - raining_like_tears on April 15, 2004
*GAWK* *strangling sounds coming out of throat* I can't imagine Ryo being unfaithful to Dee or visa-versa, but hey, these are fanfic's aren't they? Can't be any stranger than r onr ones. But then again, life sucks sometimes and you get slapped up with something totally unexpected - and things like this happen! Poor Dee! I can't wait to read your next chapter. I hope things work out for the two in the end, though something like unfaithfulness is hard to forgive and get over to completely except that person into your life again like that.
Report Review
From ANON - Someone Out There on April 14, 2004
Umm... wow. As much as Dee had pursued Ryo, finally catching him, and the relationship the two developed, I could actually see Dee exploding like that somewhat. I've read a lot of fanfiction of these two, and I don't think that I've come across any that's had this kind of theme to it. I think Ie ane an idea of what you're going to do with this story, but I think I'll keep my mouth shut with this one for now.

I can't wait to read more! My guts are turning into little knots so please hurry... I love my guys and something like this would hurt realld! Sd!
Report Review