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Reviews for Deadly Desire

By : Shadiyaray
  • From ANON - Sky on June 12, 2003
    Hey,
    Nice story, great plot! Don't listen to what others tell you about the plot, it's great! Keep it up!
    Sky
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  • From ANON - Wren Martin on June 04, 2003
    I'd definetly give the lemon a 10!!! :-) This is a great story, please continue!! Oh & the second question... I don't think that it's possible to have too many lemons!!!... LOL:-)
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  • From ANON - Rotten Meat on June 04, 2003
    I have to agree with Hatchan and Cindy...though I'll try not to be as cruel as my buddy Cindy was. The plot to this fic doesn't seem to be picking up the pace, but you sure have plenty of sex. And yes, I've seen many spelling, grammer and punctuationtaketakes. And you do have many, many run on sentencpleaplease correct that. Plus I have to agree that a woman (no respectable woman at least) would be so quick as to hop in bed, oh excuse me...on horseback with some guy, when they've barely spoken a sentence to each other. A virgin would probably be quite hesitant in losing her virginity to anyone other than her husband, because in that era, she wouldn't be suitable for marriage if she did. Hell, she'd be considered tarnished goods, and lower than a prostitute. There's barely any dialogue, or interaction between Kenshin and Kaoru, other than fingering and fucking. This fic does remind me of several romance novels, what with Kaoru begging Kenshin for sex.That poor goddamn horse, where are the Animal Rights Activists when you need them.
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  • From ANON - AD on June 03, 2003
    I liked it, it wae fie first time I read where a girl lost her virginity on a horse. I you can come up with another good one like that then please add another lemon. Also, don't take long in updating the story..please.
    =)
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  • From ANON - QueenDana on June 03, 2003
    On a scale of 1-10, definately a 10! Also, yes, you should put many more lemons in because you are great at writing them
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  • From ANON - jessica on June 03, 2003
    ACK! DON'T STOP!!! I love Hitokiri Battosai. I really like this fic a lot. please continue. although, the sex on the horse was pretty weird. i mean...a horse? but it's really good. i like how you brought out kenshin's character. I think that your fic is the best hitokiri fic that i have read. he's dark, swift, mysterious, HORNY, sexually skilled :), handsom, short temper, serious, and just so damxy. xy. if he was here right now and had the attitude that you have given him. i would strip and lay down on the floor for him in seconds. well, i would jump on him, strip him and myself, and then have sex with him for a whole week. but then i'd probably get killed. sooooo....KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!!!
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  • From ANON - Bsasami153 on June 02, 2003
    Enjoying seeing the anime itself. Like reading your story.
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  • From ANON - Stephanie on May 31, 2003
    This stor rea really good and I can't wait to read more. The lein tin the chapter Finally was really good and I think you should write another one in this story. I can't wait to read what happens next, so please hurry up and finish this. Keep writing.
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  • From ANON - lilblossom82 on May 30, 2003
    More lemon!!!!
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  • From ANON - Sakura on May 28, 2003
    I think your lemon was a 10!!! And I know this sounds REALLY perverted, but NO that is definitly NOT enough lemons! (told you it was perverted!)
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  • From ANON - Hatchan on May 27, 2003
    You're a decent writer, so I'll give you some tips on this fic.

    - Make your villain a little less 2-dimensional. A rich, cruel man who kills anyone he doesn't like and rapes women to death isn't as evil/frightening as someone more fleshed out. Also, give him some motivation. Who is he? Who does he work for? How did he insult/be the them so that they had Kaoru taken? Why does he give a damn about Kaoru? Yes, she's beautiful and a virgin and yada yada yada, but it sounds like he could find another girl like that very quickly. There's a difference between Porn Without Plot and Porn With Poorly Fleshed-Out Plot.

    - Once you do that, it should fix my next problem, which is that of Kaoru's complacence through this fic. While Kenshin IS taking her away from a cruel man she doesn't want to marry, I doubt that she'd prefer to go with the deadliest man in Japan over staying with her hubby just because Kenshin has pretty hair. Also, she's instantly turned on by him and her loins burn for him? Please. While there may be some sort of rape fantasy going on in her head, I doubt she'd be ready to sleep witm thm that first night she meets him, it being dark and he being a killer and she being petrified and tired.

    - Geez, poor horse. They could have broken its back, you know.

    =^..^=
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  • From ANON - Nunichan on May 26, 2003
    OMG!! I love it!! On a scale of 1-10 I give it an 9, it needs an ending. And a little bit more lemon wouldn't hurt, so please write more.
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  • From ANON - Bsasami153 on May 24, 2003
    1.10

    2. Yea!

    Enjoyed reading your story so please continue...
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  • From ANON - shadow on May 24, 2003
    ten, yes, ten. definitely an eleven. and definitely more lemon, if that's the way you write it. *still having flashbacks of the scene...oh, wait, that's the back button...*
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  • From ANON - wolfyoukai on May 23, 2003
    that was a 10 lemon!!! please update!! yes, another lemon would be greatly appreciated!!
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