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Reviews for La Fleure qui est Belle

By : Raithe
  • From ANON - bellaria on June 26, 2005
    weeeeeeell that was kinna unfulfilling....
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  • From ANON - ShadowSpinner on June 25, 2005
    Wow...it ended rather abruptly, don't you think? I mean, chapter 17 was him basically proposing to her, then in chapter 18 they were married with children and it was over. You skipped a lot of detail.

    But I do like the story, mostly.
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  • From ANON - oracle goddess on June 20, 2005
    his father is such a jerkface! also, i noticed in regards to "kenshin" and his sister's name "hiromi", in the case of the former, it's japenese, and the latter at least sounds japenese, so how come the father's name is "eric"?
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  • From ANON - kimberlyann on June 18, 2005
    oooooohh, wonderful cliffhanger.
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  • From ANON - De Lazy Lime on June 11, 2005
    HA! I cheated and found the rest of this fic on FF.NEt I can only hope that the reason you are posting on here is that someone answered your challenge and wrote some lemmony goodness for your story OR perhaps that you wrote some lemmony goodness! I did enjoy your fic by the way. Some of the chapters were a bit short for my tastes but its often quality of quantity that I really adore! Thankyou for this odd ball of a story that I never thought I could read and enjoy! I hope you find the time to continue writting!! I love Rurouni Kenshin and thankyou for the AU on my favorite couple!!

    ~*Toodles*~


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  • From ANON - citrus baby on June 10, 2005
    ooh, haha, t3h awesome. you're writing this fic on this site too? :D well, despite being a rabid k/k fan, i'd always been interested in this story [since in the end, it is somewhat k/k. oh by the way, this formerly 'mz.amber eyes' or 'lookmomitzacow' on aim. yeah, i thought that it was finally about time i got off my lazy ass and changed the names]. anyways, a lot more people are understanding at this site, save for the few that shouldn't be reading this site's content, AT ALL. so if you come by a flame like at FF. ignore it. continue posting, i'll be looking to see if the story has improved. IM me when you update it, yah? alritey. [aim: bi0nne]
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  • From ANON - oracle goddess on June 10, 2005
    what what what?! what happened to kenshin?! kaoru's right, you're to good for him kenshin!
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  • From ANON - De Lazy Lime on June 10, 2005
    hmm... So Jean seems to be a real asshole ^_^ OR is he going to try and cover it up saying it was all about his self image? A show to keep people from suspecting? ...But still whats with the face of discust? Has he decided that he doesn't love Kenshin anymore and was just using him for his wealth?....MORE PLEASE!!

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  • From ANON - Sosoru(not logged in) on June 09, 2005
    Ok, be careful what you wish for. I want to start by saying I'm not a perfect writer myself and I still struggle with issues of writing style. I'm just pointing out the strong and weak points I could see in your fic and give you some constructive criticism per your request.

    To be honest, your story lacks zip. It lacks that certain something that keeps you glued, interesting and wanting more. The concept was good, but the addition of "Jean" was downright awkward. I believe, if you are making a RK fic, even if it is AU, you should stick with familiar characters. If you create your own, write they HELL out of them. Don't just say, "This is Jean, Kenshin's lover. He's a guy and wears a gray suit." That just makes him a faceless space occupier. Make us know Jean. Make us feel Jean. Make him not just Kenshin's lover, but a person.

    Yes, this is AU. Yes, you are recycling some characters, but you still have to describe them. There is very little "storytelling" in your story. I have no visual of what Jean looks like. I have no idea of what Kaoru is supposed to look like, besides dirty, yet cute. And I don't know how Kenshin is supposed to look, except for attractive. In order to imagine the scene, the reader needs to know what the players look like. Not just the color of the eye, everything, down to the fine details. "The way the furrowed bow arched over circular pools of blue, reaching for the raven sideburns, which were curled up in a curious C on each side of her heart-shaped face." Ya get me?

    Well, I won't make this too long. That should be enough to get you started. If you don't hate me, feel free to email me if you want to talk. Perhaps read my fics and tell me what you think of them.

    Take care,
    Sosoru

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  • From ANON - Rei on June 09, 2005
    im not really into homosexuals but this story is kinna interesting will you please email me when you have the next chapter? and please put the title so i wont delete it ...well see ya
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  • From ANON - De Lazy Lime on June 09, 2005
    I admit I'm not particularly fond of homosexuality, But you did warn me ^_^ and I did notice in you summary it says M/F? I have a rather good grasp of Kenshin and Kaoru's character :P but If he is so pertenant to the story perhaps a bit more about Jean? His look reminds me of Sanosuke...but I don't know whether I like him or not I dont feel that I have enought information about him. This is only the begginning I suppose, Hope to see more from you soon! I look forward to reading more!!
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