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Reviews for Saiyuki Serial:Beautifully Broken Evolution

By : greywitch

From ANON - jewel on October 21, 2005
I hate to be disparaging in reviews but I also hate to write nothing but glowing reports. But I believe in being honest. And honestly, I have nothing bad to say about this piece.

As always in a fanfic the reader wants to see the characters acting like themselves. That�s why we love them. On the whole I found your characterization believable.

At first I did have a little trouble with Sanzo�s first three lines. I thought he was being a little uncharacteristically mean referring to Gojyo�s possible partner as a �cheap whore� and using phrases like �get your rocks off� and �slut about town�. I really had a hard time with his invitation line ��Why even bother being the slut-about-town when you can get what you need from me?� I just didn�t see it as something Sanzo would say. It sounded too contrived. But then again I couldn�t come up with anything better to put there instead. AND you did make mention that Sanzo was drunk (possibly) and a *mean* drunk at that, so that gives him clearance to say odd things. It was forgivable in Gojyo�s book especially if it meant Gojyo could fuck him. And it was excusable by me, the reader, too if it meant I was going to get to see Gojyo fuck him. As it turns out Sanzo was not drunk and the whole thing *was* contrived, making Sanzo even more believable. Because he is, after all, a real prick. (and that�s why we love him)

I was surprised at the first person point of view. I found I enjoyed it. I found Gojyo�s first person very easy to believe. You did a wonderful job of capturing the stereotype and making it personal to Gojyo so that it is NOT a stereotype. He comes off as confident, not arrogant. It is a subtle difference and you nailed it. I loved how Sanzo brings up Gojyo�s �hype�. We all know that every fan of the manga is asking the same question �is he really as good as he says he is?� And anyone who has read this fanfic is happy to know that he is. The running commentary in his head was just great. I loved Gojyo�s lines about getting Sanzo drunk more often. Of course the reader suspected Sanzo was NOT drunk way before Gojyo did.

The other burning question on everyone�s minds is �what is sex with Sanzo like?� or more pointedly �does Sanzo even have sex?� I think a lot of Saiyuki fanfic is aimed at answering this question. I love that in your fic Gojyo had the same questions: �I don�t think Sanzo does sex�Maybe he believes having sex would push him that last step into hell. Who knows what he thinks?� and �Well surprise, surprise; Sanzo did have sex. Now, I was curious who with and when.� Yes yes Gojyo, aren�t we all.

Sex for Sanzo is going to be complicated. It�s not an issue of control so much as it is of vulnerability. Perry Farrell of Jane�s Addiction wrote, �Sex is violent�. But even violent sex leaves you vulnerable. I love the choice of using the gun. It is Sanzo�s security blanket. It allows him to overcome the insecurities of initiating sex under the pretense of being in �control�, yet his very clinging to the object screams vulnerability. It is his buffer between himself and Gojyo. Of course it doesn�t hurt either that, as Gojyo says, �Its one hell of a turn on�� (*shiver*) and �Kinky as all get out�� And the gun, the impetus for the story (I assume) is not forgotten in the heat of passion. It is carried throughout the piece very well. I really liked that after it was over and they were about to begin again for the second time, Sanzo finally let go of the gun. It was a show of safety. His secret (of not being drunk) was out; Gojyo did not reject him and was willing to keep this under wraps. Some of his vulnerability was eased away and he was safe to let go of the gun. I like to think that he picked up again later on just for fun.

I like how although as �Kinky as all get out� the sex in this piece wasn�t about control or humiliation. It has a tantalizing air of resistance and force because of the gun, because of Sanzo�s rough words and because of Gojyo�s submissive actions, but both parties are consenting. The graphic sex was refreshingly lacking in clich� epithets and silly terminology that high school boys and cheesy romance novels use. It was right to the point and highly erotic in its simplicity.

This was a wonderful beginning of what I hope will be many erotic encounters between these two great characters.

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From ANON - fuzzybunnytoo on October 20, 2005
wow!!!!!!! i got to get me some of that water.......
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From ANON - LadyJ on October 19, 2005
"All hail Sha Gojyo, sex god extraordinaire. "

oooh yeah. 8) EXCELLENT!!!
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From ANON - lynn on October 19, 2005
more, i need more!! plus the water thing was kinky
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From ANON - Julie E on October 18, 2005
Okay...this was just the best. The best. I have been a fan of your entire series, and they are all so damned wonderful and truly erotic and well-written, but this one just rocked my socks--rocked my soul, really, because of the beautiful imagery of the water demon in his element. This was just a wonderful, wonderful read. You have true talent and it's at its best here.
Thank you so much for writing it. I haven't smiled like for so long. This just made my day.
Julie E.
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From ANON - Catlin on October 18, 2005
O.O.......KYA!!!!!!!!
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From ANON - faradheia on October 18, 2005
I'm just LOVING this series!! Thank you SO much for continuing! Each piece is as fabulous as the one before it. :D
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From ANON - Chikky on October 18, 2005
Okay that was effin' good. I liked how you managed to keep them somewhat in character. It is hard to write a smut fic with Sanzo and keep him in character. So good job and I hope to read more from you soon.
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From ANON - beysie on October 15, 2005
I finally remembered that you told me that you'd updated... Hot damn! You got me all excited now damn it! I wish I could see all this in person... but alas, they're just anime... *cries* Everytime I watch Saiyuki, I just want to jump inside the screen and shove my tongue down Sanzo's throat! Something about his surly sexy ass just gets me right here... *hits chest* And several other excitable places... *blinks and clears throat* Anyway! I'm all excited that they found their kink! Hot damn, I can't wait for the next chapter already! What does Gojyo have planned for teaching Sanzo to be the ultimate top?! Now I'm gonna be bouncing around impatiently in anticipation... You're one crazy dog! *giggles* Been waiting for the right time to use that... *sighs* I'm so random today! Later hun!

Beysie

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From ANON - Julie E. on September 27, 2005
You wrote another one!
These are just great. Truly...you have a great grasp of Gojyo's and Sanzo's characters and I am so addicted to this pairing--each encounter is just as hot as the last.
I like the fact that their desire for each other is only increasing rather than waning...it smacks of lurvvve. (wink)
I look forward to more, if you're inclined to write any--but if not, I fully appreciate and relish these as faves in this fandom.
Thank you so much for writing and sharing these with us.
Julie E.
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From ANON - Alya on September 27, 2005
Love your fic! I think that Sanzo's really in character and what he says are really appropriate. Gojyo also. And the sex part was really good. I like the way you describe it. I've read the other parts of this series and they were really good as well. I hope you continue the series.
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From ANON - Jamie on September 26, 2005
*Purrs*
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From ANON - k on September 26, 2005
I clicked the title because it was new, and once I started reading I thought, "wow, this is good!" Then when I looked to see who wrote it I thought, "ahh of course, it's Iron Dog!" :D You write them so well, it's always a pleasure to read.
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From ANON - ginsei on September 25, 2005
LOVE. *bookmarks* I'm so glad you're continuing this series, these have got to be some of the best GojyoSanzo fics out there.
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From ANON - Julie E. on September 22, 2005
Alrigggght.
'Nother one of these steamy, totally worthwhile reads from an excellent, fully charged erotic writer.
Thanks for the latest in this lovely, satisfying series. If you plan to write more, I'm waiting with shuddery breath, because this is sooooooooo worth it.
You are awesome. Thank you so much for posting these. I'm totally into this pairing now, it's like an addiction.
The characterization of Sanzo was spot on, I have to add. I loved his reluctance and harshness and his inability to articulate what he wants. That was very well done, and added just the right tension to an already pleasurable read.
Julie E.

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