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Reviews for Experiment Ryuma

By : Sisco

From ANON - Nanaka on July 03, 2005
That was another splendid chapter.... Ramsey smoking pot kind of fits, and he tried to force himself on poor Ryuma... if he'd succeded i'd probably be a little upset, Ryuho to the rescue, hehe.... I can't wait to hear more about Kazuho.... anyway, i'll be away for almost all of next week so it might be awhile before i can get back on and read..... so update whenever or i'll sick that evil monkey from Death's review on you.... hehehe, I love the evil monkey
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From ANON - Death on July 01, 2005
That was really good. Me and my imaginary friend Zktx (pronounced potato) really injoyed it. Unfortunately if you don't update soon we'll be forced to hunt you down, rip off your arm, and shove it up your ass. I mean that too *Closet door slams open and evil monkey points and glares* Thanks.
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From ANON - Nanaka on June 30, 2005
*jumps up and points to screan* I KEW THERE WAS GOING TO BE A KAZUHO!!!..... ooooooh soda.... *sits back down*...anyway, when i first started reading the story i thought to myself 'Ryuma thats a nice play on names, i think i would have gone with Kazuho though, maby there'll be a second clone, that would be cool....' and so on.... great minds truely do think alike.... i wonder what his alter will be like, i have a pretty good idea what it'll be like.... i can't think of anything else to say..... i just got home so i don't have much caffine in my system... i'm naturally a quiet person and don't converse well eithout some form of caffine in my system.... well this was another splendid chapter, hope you'll update soon.... and just so ya know, my idea of soon is within 2 weeks
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From ANON - Yasei Raiden on June 29, 2005
GAH!!! You update so wonderfully fast that I missed your last chapter update! So, I'm sorry for not review the last chapter. I just started my "official" vacation 5 days ago and the likelihood of me catching all of your chapters on time is slim. At least I'm still getting the chance to read!!

I must say, I believe that you are improving with your writing. You seem to be paying attention to the new scenarios you put the characters through instead of giving them all mind reading powers. ^_^ I'm very proud of you! And you did a great job with the sex scene. LOL I can just imagine how hard it would be to write those, especially if you don't like them. I haven't actually written any yet, however, I hear that writing particularly steamy scenes can cure writers block. *snickers*

I love Ramsey's alter. The name isn't bad either. When creating names I tend to get stuck because I'm afraid of how stupid they might sound to other people. I loved the Ramsey/Ryuma cuddle scene, very cute. LOL! Nanaka sounds like a great person to go to for writers block, but being reviewers/readers we seem to automatically come up with new ideas for stories we're currently reading. ^_~ I know I do, but I try not to make any suggestions lest the author become dependent upon me for ideas. (It's kinda happened before. -_-;)

So, there is my review! Nice and long because I can't guarantee I'll be here to review your next chapter. Either way, I'm sure I'll love it. ^_^ *hugs*

~Yasei

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From ANON - Nanaka on June 28, 2005
Another wonderfull chapter.... i have to admit, in the chapter where Ramsey was introduced... i seem to have forgotten the little section where they mentioned he had an alter..... every now and then i tend to read without really taking any notice as to what it is i'm reading.... oh well.... i liked his alter, it was an idea i tought of at one point in time.... great mines think alike... hehe.... also, caffine will not make my head explode onyl the lack of caffine will... when i go thrugh caffine withdrawl I become grouchy and short tempered and am quite likely to say i hate a story and then procede to make up stupid reasons as to why i hate it.... granted once i get past the 3 day point it's not so bad.... soda tastes so much better when you haven't had any for 3 days.... it's like finally finding water when your lost in the desert.... anyway, great chapter i hope you'll update soon
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From ANON - Nanaka on June 25, 2005
apparently my sleep deprived state had me reviewing before readding your little author not to me.... i only caught it because i decided to read the chapter again... you're right sometimes that chip in the brain thing does get, but for your story it works.... also i'd give advice but your story moves so quickly you don't really need it.... besides i can't make sence of all the jumbled thoughts in my head.... my friends won't let me tell them my ideas for stories because i change my mind about it every ten seconds, then i try and explain the new idea, but the new idea is based off an idea that i haven't told them yet so i try and explain... ugh, it's all just one giant loop of never ending insanity... now if you were stuck in the story and hadn't updated in a week... then i might try and send you advice, though it would be more like a bunch of thoughts jumbled together.... you'd have to be desperate to try and sort through the insanity of my thoughts and ideas..... if i wasn't on a caffine high this review would only be 2 sentences long.... and one thing no one want's is advice/thoughts/ideas that i've written down while sleep deprived and caffine high.... and i must go before i pass out on the keybored
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From ANON - Nanaka on June 25, 2005
hehe... poor Ryuma had to hide in Kanami's room to get away from the sounds of his 'fathers' doing it... this was a great chapter.... i'd say update soon but i won't be able to get on the internet for the next 2 days.... so update again by the time i get back.... since you seem to be updating every day (or close to it) i guess when i get back i may get 2 chaps to read.... though i'd be just as happy with one.... i need to go before i start talking jibberish.... i'm on another sleep deprived caffine high
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From ANON - Yasei Raiden on June 23, 2005
LOL! My advice for your writing is to just take it slow, think about how a real person would react is the situation you wish to put them in. I've only written a few things myself (non posted here) and have been tempted to make a similar mistake. People just can't read other people. If we actually could, couples would never fight and men would understand women. *snickers* Not to mention, going over your own work. It's really hard to put your writing aside for an hour or two, completely clear your mind, reread your stuff and think, "Will someone else read this the way I want them to." Most of the time, the answer is no because YOU know what you're thinking, we don't. Do you have a beta? Unfortunately, using a beta would slow down your updates, but it could help with your errors.

BTW: I rarely if ever write critical reviews. If I'm honest with myself, I usually write sickeningly sweet reviews to help the author write faster. ^_~ I only add my two cents if I'm impressed with the writing. Honestly though, you have definite potential as a writer and if I can help just by pointing out a few mistakes, I will. I remember that once I got used to having my wrongs pointed out, and after I got over the embarrassment, I was really grateful because my stories did actually sound better, even to me. (And believe me, my stories were totally butchered with pen corrections! XD)

Still love the story and look forward to your next update.

~Yasei

Oh, here were the two spelling mistakes I caught: Paragraph 5, sentence 6: "aura" (a distinctive but intangible quality that seems to surround a person or thing) instead of "aurora" (a luminous atmospheric phenomenon appearing as streamers or bands of light sometimes visible in the night sky). And paragraph 5, sentence 7: "contentment" instead of "content." LOL! I remember this one author who used to use oar (a wooden boat paddle) instead of aura. XD She never picked up on her mistake until something like chapter 7! I don’t' want that to happen to you. So, there's my two cents... Sorry if it's a bit much, I tend to get carried away. Until next time!
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From ANON - Nanaka on June 23, 2005
yeee.... you updated... and a lot sooner than i expected.... 2 updates in 1 day.... i don't think i've seen that before... i liked Ramsey so far... i was thinkin that HOLY may have put some sort of trigger in Ryuma... and now it seems i may be corect.... oh i just love this story..... please update soon
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From ANON - Yasei Raiden on June 22, 2005
^_^ You have no idea how absolutely wonderful it is to see someone writing s-CRY-ed fanfiction. It's so rare as it is, even KazRyu. AND you update often!!! *massive glomp* Ryuma is a really sweet character and I'm looking forward to seeing how long it will take Ryuhou and Kazuma to figure out that he's their kid. ^_~ Should be interesting. BTW The idea from Kazuma to sleep together was too cute.

The only error in chapter four that you might want to be aware of is that Ryuma never made mention of Kimishima out loud, but both Ryuhou and Kazuma knew exactly who he was refering to and that it was a memory from Kazuma. Oh, and if you are still worrying about spelling, don't. You at least use your words correctly and your readers understand the story perfectly. Your a good writer, you should be very proud of that.

Thank you SO much for being a prompt updater! I can't wait to read more of your chapters/work. ^_^

~Yasei
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From ANON - Nanaka on June 22, 2005
that was great.... and it makes sense that Ryuma would be getting their memories.... and thanks for the thanks..... when i get praised for a review it makes me want to review more..... Ryuho and Kazuma sure would make good parents.... so in closing... i loved it please update soon
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From ANON - Nanaka on June 20, 2005
Another great chapter.... i liked how you described his alter... very nice..... i think you may have misspelled a word or two.... either that or i'm reading for words at one time again (i hate when i do that)... not that it really matters to me i rarely ever notice misspellings... and since i automatically correct them in my head they no longer bother me.... so in closing.... great chapter please update soon
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From ANON - Nanaka on June 20, 2005
I love your story so far.... there aren't many S-cry-ed fics out there so you sure as hell better not leave this story unfinished.... I'll be waiting patiently for the next chapter and i promiss to try and review everychapter... i'd give you more detailed thoughts on the story but i'm not good at going into details.... that's why i don't post any of my stories.... that and i none of my stories have beginnings.... just middles and ends.... by the way this was a great begining to your story...... my failure with beginnings has made me very appreciative of good beginnings when i find them.... cause thats important, a good beginning.... if the beginning is good the reader cant help but continue reading..... I've left alot of stories unread cause of bad beginnings..... just so you know i don't always review like this.... the only reason i do so now is cause it's the middle of the night and i'm on a caffine high.... so when my reviews turn into nothing more than "I loved it please update soon" don't think i've lost interest in the story... i only say that when i'm not sure what it is i want to say.... well i must go before i sprout off my life history to you..... man this was one long review
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From ANON - Dannie yoko on June 18, 2005
HEY HEY HEY!It's not fair ta leave a girl hangin'!I thouhgt it was a good fic!I wanna know where it leads to though!Keep goin!
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