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Reviews for Dark Kingdom Transgressions - Part 01 Fallen

By : LunaHope
  • From ANON - deep serenity on August 02, 2005
    chap 10-Excellent! had me rolling! love the "shady boat" of fun!

    Slightly confused with why she slapped Zo though

    and they are stupid to get caught! LOL, good job on how everyone tried to cover for them LOL
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  • From ANON - deep serenity on August 02, 2005
    chap 9-well I don't blame Nisha, Beryl was cleary trying to steal the show and make it obvious to everyone the Darien was hers,

    that was a good chap, and shows how desperate for Dariens attention Beryl was

    on to read next chap
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  • From ANON - Scorpinac on August 01, 2005
    Okay, NOW Terrance has been conceived! Can't wait to see how they keep Fred and Lyd from killing him, though! ROFL. This is gonna be fun, and I bet within another chapter or two it's off to the Moon...and Princess Serenity! Laters!
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  • From ANON - Scorpinac on July 30, 2005
    And next time, a trip to the Moon, possibly? And perhaps the fateful meeting of Hell's bitches? Well, laters!
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  • From ANON - Scorpinac on July 28, 2005
    Oh, why do I suspect something really unpleasant in Nisha's future? But then, that sort of goes without saying, doesn't it? And I'm guessing that during their little half-drunken beach fun, Prince Terrance hath been conceived? And next chapter, "When Beryl Met Metallia", right? Laters!
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  • From ANON - deep serenity on July 27, 2005
    chap 8 -it was really cute and yep that is all it takes, a few drinks and being alone LOL Poor Zo, he told her the truth though, she just doesn't want to believe it, good story
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  • From ANON - Megan Consoer on July 27, 2005
    I really like this story alot. Can you write some more chapters? Can the pairing be Serena and Darien please? Can the pairing be Serenity and Endy please?
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  • From ANON - Deep Serenity on July 26, 2005
    Ah, the negaverse! Interesting how you did that, I didn't see it coming when I first started the chapter.

    Ah, Darien will snared by her beauty...outside beauty that is.
    Do we get to see a young royal Serena next and learn a little bit about the moon kingdom of that time?

    Or will you show the vacation? THat would be fun to see.

    great job
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  • From ANON - Scorpinac on July 25, 2005
    And it's pretty much all down hill from here... Interesting trick of Metallia's, there. By the by, will Neherenia be mentioned at some point, if only in passing? In the SuperS anime it was commented that she had a brief meeting with Helios prior to her "incarceration", which arguably would fit in just about any time now since it has to happen *before* Metallia gains Beryl and comes to full strength for the strike on the Moon! Well, laters!
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  • From ANON - Scorpinac on July 24, 2005
    Ooh, heartbreak city! And one wonders how Zoi wound up later in Kunzite/Malachite's arms. Guess this is why he swore off all women, huh? Well, it can only go downhill from here! Laters!
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  • From ANON - Deep Serenity on July 23, 2005
    ahhh, chap 6- well young love and unreturned love is always hard! wow, Poor Zo putting his feelings on the line. Sad thing is, so much could have been avoided if she would have taken the loved offered instead of focusing on (darien) a love that wasn't there. I thought this chapter was sweet and sad, and I like Beryl's father, he seems a complex but decent man and I loved the lesson he taught Zo about having and using his authority he would have and need to use when he became King. Really good stuff!
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  • From ANON - Scorpinac on July 21, 2005
    Whoa... You are truly an artiste. Ahem, humh, right. Sorry I haven't done this sooner, but I was...away. But boy, you didn't waste any time, did you? Okay, reviewing four chapters here.

    Chap. 2 - Interesting how the relationships are being formed, quite the extensive cast you got going there. Poor Zoicite, having to "grow-up" before his time, kind of. Hope his mother doesn't suffer too much as a result. Loved Endymion and Zoicite handling the two thieves, by the way!

    Chap. 3 - So, Beryl was always an obnoxious little shit, huh? And possessive and easily swayed by jealousy, no less! One so wanted to smack her around for a bit by the end, I can see why she turned evil - she was already three steps of the way there to begin with! Bad mojo...

    Chap. 4 - And the bad mojo gets worse. Oh, yeah, Beryl was so already on the road to evil before Metallia got to her... And poor Endymion, just when he thought he might escape the terror of "the Talk"! Oh, well...

    Chap. 5 - Nice exposition on the Pegasuses plight there, and I think we both know what that "fluctuation" was, don't we? ;) It begins...

    Well, that's about it, and by the way, are you aware that in the title at AFF you left out the first "n" in Transgressions? Just thought I'd point that out. Well, can't think of anything else to say, so, laters!
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  • From ANON - dEEP sERENITY on July 19, 2005
    CHAP 5 VERY imformative!. Ah the poor kids that would have been tough, I commend you on how you are bringing everything together, I can see that this was a well thought out story.

    good job
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  • From ANON - deep serenity on July 18, 2005
    chap 4-well beryl is hot headed! LOL love the "duties talk" that was cute

    and glad darien didn't think it was okay for her to hurt people like that over something minor. you do the whole teen thing well, it's rare to see most adults get it right, it's scary how soon we forget what it was like to be younger.

    good job, I see the generals personalities emerging now
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  • From ANON - deep serenity on July 14, 2005
    chap 3, love how you showed how young girls torture themselves for the boys they like LOL(dress, and hair) it's so ture, we endure and go out our way all the time for males

    now the rest.........well, it sucks to see Berly mother so hard(though I did notice that in 2nd chap) and I hated to see Berly so calculating and jealous so young but hey, teenagers can and are selfish and cruel so it was realistic.

    the kiss and rose was nice and the teasing he got LOL

    very good chapter
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