Adult-FanFiction.org : Anime

Reviews for The Key to My Heart

By : JadeHeart

From ANON - Ida's Flowers on January 24, 2006
Wow, you're doing all this unplanned? It goes together so nicely that I couldn't tell. I'm so so so so SO glad that you updated; this story is my new obsession. Also, I really like how you didn't make Annette a bad person... so many people do that to any female character that gets in the way of their chosen pairing. Your way makes the story much more believable, and it's refreshing to see a well-done original character. I love the way you characterize, too; everyone is spot on. The whole story has me hanging on the edge of my seat!

About this chapter: The bit where Sakano is afraid that the hotel might be haunted made me laugh out loud, as did this: " �You won�t try to shoot him accidentally?� �No.� Though K had been trying to come up with some possible scenarios where he could do just that. Damn, foiled again!" Hee. Also, I love the way you showed a different side of Sakano. This line: "Tohma always had a hundred strings held in his hands and always knew just which one to pull to get the result that he wanted." What a great mental image, and so true! Heh, I like how Shuichi is still a big fan of Ryuichi's. Guess some things never change. I can't wait 'til Shuichi gets to 're-meet' Ryuichi. (I heart Ryuichi...heh.) I liked Shuichi's response to K reaching into his jacket ...classic Pavlovian conditioning. Also, the Fujisaki/Annette thing you have going toward the end is cute. Or am I just imagining it?

Anyway, great job. I really love this story and will be eagerly awaiting the next installment.

Report Review
From MariaBubbia on January 24, 2006
YAAY! UPDATE! I'm excited. This was wonderful, as usual. I loved the interactions between K and Sakano, and I love the fact that you hint that Sakano is more than meets the eye. That definitely gave me some food for thought, and I realized how very true it must be! XD

Other than that, my heart is CRYING for poor Yuki! AGH! That whole scene with Shu's mom was HEARTBREAKING! I love how sad he's getting, in a twisted sort of way, but I just want to see him and Shu back together!

I think it would be fan-friggen-TASTIC if you had Annette get with Suguru instead, and broke up with Shu so he's free for Yuki! YAY! ^_^
Report Review
From pandorazellas on January 24, 2006
As much as i've been really enjoying this story....it's starting to drag on a bit ^^; that doesn't mean its bad though, i've really enjoyed it so far but it doesn't seem like its comming to an end any time soon. I was so pleased to see you put Sakano in this chapter, he's my favourite *luffs Sakano* and i loved the part where he grabbed Ks gun off him. Also i'm really starting to hate Annette, your probably not trying to write her to be hated but i really wish she would go away >_< lol

Please update soon

*huggles*
Report Review
From ANON - Anna on January 24, 2006
I hate to admit it, but I'm starting to really hate this story. It's gone on FAR too long, they're still not together, and Yuki's unrealistic stupity is beyond annoying. I keep reading hoping it's going to get better, but each chapter just keeps dragging, each more awful than before. Please, just get them back together already so everyone can move on with life!
Report Review
From ANON - Bookworm51485 on January 24, 2006
You know I found myself thinking, at the part where Annette talked about Shuichi slipping away, screaming "Slip Away, Shuichi, slip far far away" in my head:D You know it had actually been so long since the last update that when I saw the story, I was like OMG yes, I completely forgot about this story. You know, actually reading that, it sounds a bit like an insult, but I really don't mean it to be. I do like your story, though I really wish you'd get rid of Annette. I think one of the hardest parts about stories like this is the desire to see something happen quickly but the story not being updated everyday to bring this desire closer to reality quicker. Hmmm...does that make any sense? Anyways I did like this chapter, though everytime it feels like your trying so hard to make a case for Annette. I don't think you want to readers to hate her and so you write all these things, to try to make us see her POV and to get rid of the "Annette should die, stupid bitch" mindset. I'm not sure if this is what you were planning all along, or if you putting it in in response to all the reviewers that hate Annette, but I have to say I could really do without it. I think that's about the only part of the chapter that I really don't like. I know that Annette is there and that she's a part of this but putting in a section where Fujisaki completely contributes Shuichi's positive changes to Annette just makes me dislike her even more. Anyways I do still believe that she didn't truly make an effort on his behalf to find out who he was. And to the people who would say that Shuichi is an adult and he could have done it himself, as bubbleheaded as he is normally and as...confused as he would have been being in a place with people he didn't know speaking a language he didn't know, I'm not sure he would have thought of it. Because when you think about it, any normal person, first thing they would have done after not finding anything at the address they went to would have tried to find their countries embassy. And I think I remember somebody (maybe you), saying that for all he knew he was American and so he wouldn't think to look. I don't buy into that. He spoke only japanese, pretty much the only people in this country who speak only their native language, and don't know any english are hispanics. And some people may see this as racist, but I speak from experience. I live in Miami, surrounded by people from all over the place, and the only foreign people I constantly encounter that know no english are hispanics. Ok he may not have thought of all of that, but I think the logical step would be to try to find the japanese embassy. So obviously Shuichi is not the most logical person in the world. I truly believe that if she really truly cared for him she would have made a true effort to find out who he was before starting something with him. You saw how quickly they found all kinds of information on him, just going to a website of a japanese newspaper, I think. If she had just suggested they'd done that (look in japanese newspapers or magazines, maybe looking for something on a missing person), knowing he was most likely japanese and that the crash he'd been in was something that was so publicized, then they probably could have found out who he was a lot sooner and wouldn't be going through all this now. So at the end of this loooooooooooooong review, I guess all I basically have to say is that I really really don't like Annette and I hope you get rid of her soon. And also that no matter how much you try to portray Annette in a positive light, I and I'm sure a few others will always dislike her. On to the rest of the story, I like who your portraying the slow transition of Shu back into Shuichi.. The clothes, the slight changes in behavior. Cool. I thought the part with Sakano and K was quite funny. I can just imagine how freaked out K had to have been having this wobbly guy pointing a gun all set to fire in his direction. Very cool:) Anyways that's all for me, I'm sure your probably happy to see this review end and probably a little tired of hearing how much I hate Annette, but I can't promise stopping until Annette is well and gone. And that isn't meant as like a threat or anything, just a statement. So yea, I do like your story a lot and I can't wait til the next chapter.
Report Review
From ANON - fuzzybunnytoo on January 24, 2006
Good Chapter but cant we get Yuki together with shu quicker? I am just so upset that they are not together. It hurts my heart. (crying in the corner) sniff, sniff, sniff , gulp, Please?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Report Review
From ANON - the soul on January 24, 2006
*dances happy dance* thank-you thank-you for posting a new chapter please please more want more *begs* ok I guess I will just have to wait *pouts* Really good chapter I think it should be Suguru who tell her about Yuki and Shuichi's relationship but I have this feeling Anette is going to end of pregnant....Maybe I am right maybe I am wrong who knows just you right lol.....waits for more....with a smile...
Report Review
From ANON - Ida's Flowers on January 23, 2006
Wow, this story is addictive! Please continue; I'm dying to see what happens next.
Report Review
From ANON - Suanne on January 21, 2006
Well...phoo...my review disappeared. I'll try to remember what I said...

As I've said elsewhere...I love this fic. It's one of the most gently insightful pieces I've run across, and considering it's based on a very insightful original work, that's saying something.

I'd like to point out, in addition to your very adept defense of your position with Yuki...I know a LOT of authors...many of them write-for-a-living type authors and Yuki's response to the situation rings VERY true. Fiction authors, esp those who write intensely character-driven pieces, tend to dreadfully over-analyse real-life situations and to respond outside the parameters of normal human actions. The smarter the person, the more the variables, the more horrible scenarios they can envision, and so the more elaborate their efforts to handle the situation.

Hmmm...I said this much better the last time I wrote it. Wish I could remember what I said, but it's too late. Anyway...I hope I've made my point...you've put our belovedly paranoid author into one heck of a situation...one for which the answer is not obvious...and he's trying to edit his way to a satisfactory conclusion. I find it utterly believable and charming.

The one thing I'd love is if you'd be a bit more careful of proper use of pronouns. This is becoming indemic in our common grammar and you're too good a writer to be making the mistake. (Don't listen to the expletive-deleted newscasters who are some of the worst.)

To wit: He/him, I/me, she/her. PLEASE...it's an easy fix. Yuki and him, Yuki and he; Yuki and me, Yuki and I; Yuki and she, Yuki and her. Don't even worry about parts of speach. Just try leaving out the "Yuki and" and use the obviously correct word. PLEASE.

Report Review
From ANON - LustrousJade on January 15, 2006
Great story! I'm enjoying it immensely! Do update soon...I want to know how Yuki gets Shu-chan back. Please? >
Report Review
From ANON - maazka on January 11, 2006
wow. u got the characters like bang on man (the gravi char, iv never read Fake although now im interested). the story lost momentum after yuki's fantasy/dream there for a bit, but at that point u had me hooked. im glad u put the Fake exerpt stuff back into the chapters, the story prolly would have seemed a bit hollow there otherwise. pls pls pls continue to update, i really want to find out how this is resolved.
Report Review
From ANON - Tyson on December 30, 2005
wow that was pro but y hasn't Yuki told Shuichi that he is his lover yet GAH stupid Yuki! PLEZ UPDATE SOON PLEZ
Report Review
From ANON - fuzzybunnytoo on December 29, 2005
ok, I have now read the whole thing. I have been at this for days and am so depressed i cant stand it ( I am not kidding) you must , must tell Shu and yuki and get them together and soon i cant stand all the angst. I am about out of my mind. When I read the part about yuki at the hospital i just sat and read and cried for hours. My mental state is getting about as crazy as some of these characters. This is great writing! But please, please give me a break and get my guys together and soon. Really Soon! please! by the way you are as good as the original story line if not better, except a little more angst in yours.Your doing a really good job.
Report Review
From ANON - blue on December 29, 2005
*little girly voice* *CRIES* please you are tearing my heart apart i had not cried in 5 years and your damn story made me cry PLEASE end this torture i beg of you *switch personalities* *low dangerous voice* you either finish it or i'll come by your house and slice your pretty little neck got that??
Report Review
From ANON - BTDTGTT (Been there...) on December 28, 2005
First off: it's a joy to read a story even a copyeditor would have a hard time complaining about.

Second, after reading the first few chapters of a now ... what? 140,000 word novel? I went to your author site and read your other, shorter works...except for "For whom the bell tolls." Personal issues with dead Shu/Yuki stories, not a comment on your writing ability. All of those show the same excellence in writing, viewpointing, and especially motivation. Because of that, I trust this story, which I've only just skimmed (very lightly) at this point, but am looking forward to savoring over the next several nights.

I'm actually responding to the whole motivational issue, which you address directly (and very well) in the A/N for this chapter (not to mention a more subtle handling throughout the story).

I had one additional thought: for Yuki, part of the power of Shuichi's love is the utter sincerity of it. (Kitizawa's betrayal of the apparent chemistry between them is the emotional killer of Yuki's youth and what makes him so resistant/distrustful of Shuichi's love.) The last thing he'd want at this point is a love based on anything other than a real emotional/spiritual bond...something like obligation. Shuichi is by nature loyal. If he knew he'd once loved Yuki, he might well feel obliged to try to rekindle that emotion...while being emotionally ravaged by his extant feelings for Annette.

It's a magnificent quandry you've created---both for Yuki and (eventually) for an enlightened Shu.

If Shuichi is nearby and in familiar surroundings, Yuki has two chances for winning him back. One...a complete restoration of memory. Two...a resurgence of the chemistry between them...which obviously still exists...at least to the reader's knowledge, if not Yuki's...as you've made clear in the electric first touch, the lack of desire to dance when Yuki wasn't there, and a dozen other excellent setup moments. Both of these could restore the very real love he had before. Anything else...especially a karmicly loaded revelation...might well get him Shuichi's body without Shuichi's soul.

So...Keep it up. I'm looking forward to how you resolve this...

Just as long as you /do/ resolve it! I saw that "archive" message at the top and thought maybe chap 30 was all we were going to get! /That/ my dear, /would/ warrant a flame! :D
Report Review