Adult-FanFiction.org : Anime

Reviews for Realities of Life

By : Despina

From JustAkiko on February 23, 2007
Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!

This whole story has had me shifting between screaming and sobbing the whole way thru! hehe I didn't think the boys could take so much pain but you dealt it and you dealt it good.

A really amazing way to continue this story, after all, if everything all became hearts and roses Shuichi especailly would be reduced to little more than a blithering idiot. You've managed to retain the strength and truth of the characters whilst at the smae time progresing the story in a truly epic way.

And tugging on the old hearstrings too. I've not seen such an unfortunate stream of events in aaages but it twistedly can all make lots of sense in poor old Shu/Eiri's world. And you even got me liking... or at least not hating too much... Kyo who it was strange to see taking Eiri's place and almost managing it.

Again a wonderfully written story that had me by the heart and made me weak in the knees. I can't tell you how excited I am to find out what happens in London, after all it�s my home town :o)

Thanks again!
Hugs
Report Review
From ANON - lunatree on January 03, 2006
Very good! cant wait for the next one.
Report Review
From ANON - Cait on January 02, 2006
I suppose I'll weigh in at the end, since I weighed in at the beginning.

I really liked where this story went. I can't wait to find out myself exactly what happened in Yokohama. I like the direction, and I understand your desire to three part this story. It is absolute excellent. Your portrayal of a three dimensional Shuichi is brilliant. When he angsts in fanfiction he usually goes into super suicidal mode, which is often done well, but it is over simplified, and you've made his character as complex as it should be.

I also think it is funny how Inoue Kyosuke's name is similar to the Japanese Seiyuu for Yuki (Inoue Kazuhiko), even though it is probably not intentional in the least.

Oh, and since I didn't say anything when that chapter passed, was that a Kizuna reference I caught a whiff of back there with Kyo's past? Hmn...

Don't make us wait too long for part three!

^_^

Report Review
From ANON - BTDTGTT (Been there...) on December 30, 2005
Shoot...forgot one thing...

In Chapter 10's emails...Shuichi mentions that Hiro, Ryo and he have formed a band and are doing clubs. Now...I can think of a lot of ways to justify this, however, as far as the reader is concerned, Ryo is in London finalizing details for a massive three-band tour, of which Hiro and Shu are a major part. The timing of that tour has not been clarified (to my memory). Regardless, there's a potential "huh?" factor hidden within that single reference which can cause a reader to drop out of the fantasy as they try to make that image fit with the rest of the story. Easy enough to eliminate that fallout with a brief "to keep in practice" (or however you want to interpret the events) phrase added to that same email.

Hope this is useful!

Brilliant, I say. Brilliant...
Report Review
From ANON - BTDTGTT (Been there...) on December 30, 2005
Brilliant. Positively brilliant.

Of all the Gravi ff I've read, this is very possibly the best. It directly addresses so many of the fundamental problems in the Shu/Erie relationship, and does it with insight and creative answers. You're allowing them to develop and mature into a real relationship without sacrificing the fundamental aspects of the relationship that makes it so dynamic and creative for both parties.

The rivalry between Yuki and Kyo is, well, brilliant (not to mention fun. LOVE the running fight commentary between K and Touma.) You've actually managed to create a realistic alternative for Shuichi. I've only seen one other FF that did that, though I'm sorry, I can't recall the title at this time. (Most pairings have to simplify Shuichi to make them work. He's not, NOT, a simple character.)

I'd love to do an extensive analysis of all the things that have impressed me, but I'd need pages and pages to do it. I think the best I can do for anyone reading the reviews is just to say read this two, soon to be three, part series; you'll be glad you did.

For you, oh brilliant author-person, I have a couple of operational suggestions. Grammatically...Overall, you're great. In fact, you're too good to be making a couple of the errors you're consistently making. "Shuichi and I" vs "Shuichi and me". This error drives me crazy as it increasingly permeates popular culture...not to mention news casts!

You probably already know this, but for some of the newbies reading this review, I'll clarify-without going into boring parts of speach detail. In general, the correct useage has an easy cross check: take out the "Shuichi and" and make the sentence read correctly. In singular useage, things are done to "me" and "I" do things to other objects.

The other . . . lots of left out possessive apostrophes.

Big fat hairy deal, right? Except you're so good, you're setting an example for those who are still in the learning stages. What they see when they read yours is what will "sound" and "look" right to them as they try their own hand at writing.

You know, I just went looking for specific examples (of the I vs me variety), and I found only one incorrect useage in the whole two story arcs....So what do I know? Guess it's just because I loved, LOVED the party-brawl scene that it stuck out to me. (I decided to leave this comment in anyway, since it is a serious problem in a lot of FF...so I thought I'd use your forum to mention it. Most FF is so grammatically-challenged, it's just not worth addressing specifics.)

BTW...I'm a really hard sell where it comes to first person...I generally prefer a really well-handled intense third...and your prose held me spellbound. I began reading Illusions last night and could not stop reading until I finished Realities, sometime around 3AM. I'm seriously looking forward to "something inbetween," though I doubt I'll read it until all chapters are posted...your pacing is just too good to be interrupted midstream. I honestly don't know how you do it so well posting a chapter at a time.

Oh, one final comment...the whole email thing. Again, and sorry to be redundant: BRILLIANT. Especially for Yuki. He expresses himself through his fingertips, not his mouth. He's accustomed to editing his writing in a way he never edits his mouth and his actions.

Brilliant....

Report Review
From ANON - Chikky on December 30, 2005
You can't leave it like that~!!! This story was sooo good, I followed every update till this one. Please tell that there is going to be a sequel and I hope it involves Yuki and Shu getting back together and fixing things.

I love your stories and really hope you do the sequel. Email me please to tell me if there is going to be a sequel. (or if there sin't XD~!)
Report Review
From ANON - the soul on December 29, 2005
Thank-you for posting the chapter I am soo glad..I love reading this story...
Report Review
From ANON - Amethyst-eyed Koneko on December 29, 2005
Damnation! You picked one Hell of a place to put a cliffhanger!! Sheesh! Just when things were getting so good too!! dammit! dammit!! dammit!!! :( *sulks for a moment* Fine, be that way. Just hurry up and write the next installment then - this is all so good! I love the story and get excited when you write a new chappie! I gotta know what the Hell Eiri did in Yokohama - it's killing me! Curiosity is not good for this kitty ya know! :D
Koneko =^.^=
Report Review
From eclipsingshadows on December 29, 2005
really great. a better way to end it then with the last chapter. and a sequel! i can't wait!
Report Review
From ANON - luciology on December 24, 2005
I know the boys have been through a lot and done a lot to each other, but i really hope Shuichi & Eiri will end up together after the London trip.
Report Review
From ANON - the soul on December 24, 2005
Wow, that was deep...I am glad you posted thank-you...I like how you made Ryuichi seem like a dream...
Report Review
From eclipsingshadows on December 24, 2005
beautifully sad! and utterly wonderful. is this the ending? its a nice ending (i admit, i almost cried) but then there is a thread there, waiting to be picked up to keep things going. but like i said, it can be left as is. really great. two thumbs up or, as most often used on the net, two kudos.
Report Review
From ANON - Gingitsune on December 12, 2005
Interesting! Hmm.....I wonder what Tohma's intentions are. I still am plugging for Shuichi to be together with Kyousuke. But we'll see I guess. *grins* Just came out of a brutal lab exam and saw this new chapter. Thanks! Oh! And I love the fact that Kyousuke left his Mitsubishi for Shuichi. Hopefully Shuichi would be moved. More?
Report Review
From ANON - JSMC168 on December 11, 2005
oommmggg u story is so good, i love eiri in gravi, but in this story i love kyo he is sooo cool, you should make shu falls for kyo in the end, even tho i know you wont, but not bad to hope rite. ^_- well hope u update soon cant wait til next chap
Report Review
From ANON - Amethyst-eyed Koneko on December 11, 2005
Ah Tohma! He really is the master manipulator isn't he? The whole world is his chess board and all the little people are his pawns. A smooth operator indeed!! :D Things are getting more and more "curiouser and curiouser" now!! I love that line!!! :D
Update ASAP!!
Koneko
Report Review