Adult-FanFiction.org : Anime

Reviews for Distraction

By : LadyPentagram

From ANON - Christina on December 27, 2006
OMG! That was hot! How can you no like this? I love the couple.
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From ANON - Raneynr Lerrqu on December 05, 2006
.... but yeah.... I was trying not to comment on the complete inability of the *way* they had sex, but since it seems that everyone else did... I really had to comment. The story on a whole was good, just that kinda made my mind think of ... type-o or something 'wtf' . The how they got together and the comments from Sanzo and Goku were good. Just rethink the how-to of their sexlives. ;) Sorry about that, I usually don't comment with a negitive thing... but.... meh.
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From ANON - Raneynr Lerrqu on December 05, 2006
I don't know about other's but I thought this was good.
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From Devilofdarkness on December 02, 2006
I think I'm scarred for life...I seriously think I am. Agh the image won't leave my head, make it go away! Look, please dear God listen to the people who have given you some VERY helpful advice. Just no, never again, guh! *curls up into a little ball* Even if you think it's okay since they're demons and they might enjoy something like that, think of your readers first! That is not something we want to imagine, trust me. *shudders*

But now I'm going try and get as far, far away from that as I can and give you some advice on other things. Like people said before at the beginning there wasn't much to it. Dialogue is good and everything, but we need to set a picture in our heads first of what's going on. Just add some details of their actions, their surrounding. What are their expressions? What are they feeling? Just elaborate and I'm sure your writing will improve dramaticaly...and never, never do a sex scene like that again. That will definitely improve it. That's all I have to say, what you do with my suggestions are purely up to you. Now if you'll excuse me there's a corner I need to go curl up in.
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From ANON - kiota on November 06, 2006
love the story :) just one thing i tought weird,,,you wrote "before plunging the finger into the penis",,,is that even possible?

beside that little thing that confused me i think this is a great story :)
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From ANON - RoxasTwilight on October 20, 2006
Um, you do know that it's very difficult for a man to have sex that way. Right? It takes an extremly long period of time to streatch the opening of the penis that much. Most men have anal sex.
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From HikaKetsu on October 16, 2006
Kat, Paine, you both are seriously mistaken. While it was written nicely and such, the entire concept was unrealistic and not the least bit enjoyable to think of or to even read. I don't even know why the two of you would like such a thing... It's painful, it's worng (Not that it's between to men, mind you)... I get the feeling that you both are at most fifteen and if any older... God help us.
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From ANON - Kat on October 13, 2006
You were told to stop writing?
...
Well whoever told you that is obviously stupid. Because you are great. And who gives a damn if the sex is impossible? It was still hot! ^-^ Well, excellent job; you rock.
~Kat~

p.s. I loved your 'Mindless dribble: shmoo,' at the beginning. That's the best thing EVER.
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From ANON - Paine on September 24, 2006
Right, i'v just read sum of the other reviews (i didnt before i reviewed). The main point for me is, the construction of the story (dialogue, the basic concept) is good. At least it's a different take, so what if its impossible, it's entertaining, i think some people have been very harsh in their comments, if they don't like the story then the criticism could at least be constructive rather than 'you're shit etc etc' thats not fair. I think everyone on here must have written something less than brilliant at some point, it's not fair to make someone feel like they should stop writing. Keep writing, bear in mind the narrow-mindedness you seem to have encountered and good luck to you! xxxxPaine
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From ANON - Paine on September 24, 2006
Hot, hot hot!!! This was so good, ur a really good writer. Right, i'm going on a hunt for more of your stuff now buh-bye! xxxx
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From ANON - Shotsu on September 05, 2006
Special thanks to Milantha-chan for getting me into Saiyuki. Special thanks to the Serpent Guardian and Mare Na Var for helping me decide on how to do the sex. And special thanks to KawaiiLilMarron for writing those lovely Saiyuki fics and therefore giving me the inspiration to finish. Oh, what the hell, special thanks to Pheonix Elemental for not hitting me when I wanted to discuss the sex. In fact, thanks to all my friends who didn�t hit me! Yay!

In response to what was written above.

Hello and Good Morning. ^_^ I would just like to say that... I am highly disappointed. Not in only you but the people you gave thanks to. Except of course Milantha-chan because she was just doing her duty as a fan to get other people open to the wonderful world of Saiyuki. But as for the rest of them... Your thanks just tells me that there are more idiots in the world than God intended for. Now, I wanted to ask why would Serpent Guardian and Mare Na Var not know that a penis does not go into another penis? I mean, they did help you decide on it, didn't they? Or did they only decide that there would be a sex scene in it? I'm not so sure. Though I do not know the two personally. Or rather, I've never even been in any form of contact with them. And Pheonix Elemental should have hit you for discussing sex, because if you had discussed this particular scene of sex, I'm sure she/he would have slapped you silly and if not... this is cause for wonder. I really can't say that anything in this fanfic was good and I can't even say I truthfully read all of it. But I did feel compelled to leave you a review. I'm sure that there are many before me, as there are sixteen other reviews, and I'm even more sure that none of them praise you for your... what's the right word? Anatomically incorrect sex scene. I suppose that'll have to suffice. Now, please stay in school, and yes, school because there is no way that you are of the legal age to be on this site. Your writing proves it. Now, I hope you have a wonderful day, good bye for now.
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From ANON - BradenIsMyMonkey on September 03, 2006
My penis hurst now that I read this story...and the worste thing about it is...I am a girl and don't have a penis. >.
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From Queen1973 on August 23, 2006
Eh?! Um... I saw a movie in which some guy blead to death in the hospital because the villain ripped out his cathetar. At first I thought this was just some error and that some words were missing so word "penis" came to the place where another word (depending on whichever the writer chooses) should be. Then I realised I was wrong.

Please, please, listen to what other people here tell you and spare us this monstrosity. I read some yucky stuff in my life, I really did but now I hafe to live knowing I read that. *shivers*
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From ANON - N.T. Whip on August 19, 2006
Look, I know you had an AN that stated "Don't flame me because I flunked Anatomy 101," but I can't believe you would ever, ever, ever expect penis-in-penis sex to be a.) possible or b.) sexy.

Your excuse that they're masochistic demons so impossible sex is okay doesn't work very well if you examine the canon for longer than two seconds, now does it? Also, you have to consider your audience, which is human. Whether or not you believe demons can have impossible penis-in-penis sex is irrelevant and confusing; are you that disturbed by anal sex that you'd make something so impossible up? We, as readers, need to have something real we can relate to, even if your world is fantastical. Your readers can't understand or relate to something which is so far-fetched it is painful to read.

I hate to see peiople get hurt but I hate it more when people don't learn from their experiences. If people flamed you to the point where you withdrew your story from one place, what makes you think that they wouldn't do the same in another? The best teacher in life is our mistakes, but if we don't learn from them and blindly press on all we'll recieve is heart ache. I've been around a long time and I can tell you from experience, the intelligence of the masses is just that: intelligent. Listen to what your peers have to say and don't try to play brilliant martyr, because you'll never succeed, especially with fiction such as this.
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From ANON - Minim on August 18, 2006
Okay there was a reason why people flamed you on ff.net: it isn't completely totally impossible to actually do a penis in penis, but it would completely destroy the fibrous tissue inside, do evil things to the blood vessels, detroy the urinary tract and do permanent serious damage. Certainely not sex though, when the seme guy moved, it would be MORE than painful for the uke ... he would be unconscious from the pain ... more to the point the seme would not get any friction to move at all. There's enjoying pain (believe I know about enjoying pain) and then there's the kind of pain that people die from and that is it.

Your average penis is an roughly an inch in diameter. An INCH. The hole in the penis is about 2mm thick at the very most (hence why when men come it comes out in "jets" or string-like sprays).

And you will get more flames here simply because most of us have written smut for a while, are over 18 and know anatomy.

... also, you may want to work on the plot a little.

This isn't cruelty my dear, it's simply setting things out. I put your fiction to a very good homsexual submissive-self-harming friend of mine and he clenched his legs together, doubled over and the quote from him was "Oh god ... Oh god oh god oh god ... there's isn't enoguh drugs ... there isn't enough morphine." so there you go
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