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Reviews for Sinners

By : Stormborn Apostle

From ANON - dr. page on August 21, 2013
thank you for writing an amazing first arc. you are a truly talented writer. i have read it nonstop from the beggining in 5 hours and its 1 AM....and i have college tomorrow.....and i'm more screwed.....than psymackio >.< ........AND IT WAS ALL WORTH IT HAHAHA RSAAAAAAGGGGHHHJFSG *collapses from exhaustion,*
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From ANON - dr.page on August 20, 2013
im reading your story and i enjoy it very much. i got to the jirachism part and it hit me funny as i'm a christian. now i ain't gonna rant or preach to you. i just wanted to that my heart sank when i read that. hurt my feelings actually. is that what you think of christians ? i have never had any ill will towards gays even though i dont agree with it. in fact, i have a gay friend. i witness to them about every 2 months because i don't want to be pushy. all i'm saying is that a lot of us aren't like that. i'm not. and if this helps you to see us in a better light....well, i hope so anyways. may your life be blessed and lead to happin3ss :]
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From ANON - Freddy on November 06, 2012
Some people Will agree with me on this
But I am of the opinion that shawshank redemption is the best movie ever
(fun fact about shawshank redemption it has actually been rated as the best movie ever
And if you have. Of seen it you should)
I have never seen any of the rocky movies
There are a scarce few errors if at all
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From ANON - Z on August 17, 2012
Honestly Slash, I am a fan of both arcs. I like how you built the story. I like how you made a creative way to express some more risky ideas. I like how you keep writing these. I like how your using my favorite pokemon, even before I read this story. I like the plot twists, the alliences, well the whole thing really.

However I have to side with your critics on most of the story. While I realize this is a sex fan fiction site, I read this as not a fan of pokemon or a fan of your work, I read this as if it was a piece of literature that could use more work. Work that I think would make this story more of an enjoyable read.

First I really think you shouldn't have made yourself one of the main characters. That leads me to assume that you made this as a sex fantacy over as a poetic love story I knew you were trying for. While I can apperciate that attempt, I really think you should remove yourself from the story. I know that whould require rewriting the whole damn thing, but still you have to think about how the story is interpreted.

Second I think you shouldn't add your own personal fetishes in the story. While I still like how you described them, they still seemed a bit... Sappy. I'm not going to be a kiss ass and say this is the hottest thing I've ever read either. I'm merely pointing out, going after a "Fifty shades of grey" general ecrotica might soothe a great many of your criticism. Although not to the dominatrix levels that book goes to...

I mean really who has that much energy to do five sex positions, climax in all of them, and then keep going. If you perhaps made them do that over a week, each a separate night? Perhaps as a getaway? I'm not sure. However again I'll have to agree with Bufalo, you tried way to hard to go after a romantic setting. If you are going after a romantic air, dial it back you want to make a girl blush when she reads it, not drop it and say what the hell?

Third was really adding the destruction of the world nessissary? I mean I read the oneshot "Empty hourglass" that's really how I see that ending. Unless you can pull a fix it all wand out of your ass, I really don't see how you can save your self damned character. That chapter made me cry because I really couldn't see how psymakio could save slash, or even if jirachi himself could save him.

Fourth and on that note, I really do see the point in adding religion into the story because it adds to the main element in the story. That being forbiddence. However making an entire chapter just to basically preach was a bit uncalled for. I can see if you added all those idealisms in the chapters leading up to the post kiako attack, then that would leave you with more of flowing story.

Fifth, I AM A FAN, I just looked at the story from a critical angle. I merely want to help you from getting such harsh reviews, and make a better story. I don't want to change the main elements in it, I want to change how you're portraying your work. I mean as to make it sound not so "beastly" or "horrible" or "vile" to just anyone who reads it! I mean incorporating so much of everything is one hell of a task, but painting it so it's more of a sex based story rather than a love story doesn't help except to give your more die hard critics fuel. Sometimes you do have to reconsider what you actually wrote as opposed to what you wanted to say.
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From ANON - Louis on August 10, 2012
Fucking amazing
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From ANON - Buffalo on April 17, 2012
Did you really need to LIGHT CANDLES for the sex scene? The scene was already as unfappably sappy as it could possibly have gotten, but that just really added the cherry ontop of the cake of patheticness.

You're a relatively decent writer but you ruin any possibility of making your porn erotic by making it too damn personal. I don't want to hear about your creepy fantasies about forming this bizarrely in depth relationship with a cartoon (a cartoon alien thing at that). The premise was already a massive boner-kill but I couldn't even get past my disinterest to potentially find the sex scenes anything close to arousing. Intimacy can be nice but you just overkilled it to the point where I felt the "sweetness" would give me diabetes.
It's just too difficult to find ANY good literotica these days.
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From ANON - Chelsea..Smile. on June 10, 2011
Omg.. i love your stories. Honestly, they make me so fucking horny. I can't believe you are so amazing at something like this. Thank you Thank you Thank you. You have saved me from another day of sexual frustration. Oh by the way, you're perfect
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From Stormborn Apostle on August 02, 2010
Cody---I hope you realize that there's a second arc, lol. Just check my profile page to find it. The second arc is currently more than triple the length of the first.
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From ANON - cody on August 02, 2010
you have captivared me as a reader! please please please,never finish this and post as fast as you possibly can!!!! i read all 12 chapters in less than forty minutes!!! i love your work!
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From ANON - anon on August 01, 2010
this is probaly the best fanfiction, or even the best short story i have ever read. it is now 2:48 my time and i need to sleep but tommorow i will finish sinners 2. i cant wait. you have some real talent dude. find a publishing company and write another book. a book that if possible is better than this. you have the talent to make it all the way to the top.
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From ANON - Edward Elric xD on April 03, 2010
Seriously, wtf are you doing as an ameture?!?! GET YOUR SHIT PUBLISHED GODAMMIT!!! I'd buy it, no question!
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From ANON - Zaphrix on January 03, 2010
that last review was meant for chap. 6, forgot to mention

Overall, this story is actually...incredible. The first thing that struck me was the way with words. This is actually the first fan-fic i've ever read, and i expected it to be vile trash(just from what i had heard about some of these things). Nevertheless, i was still curiuosXD
Tthe next thing that got to me was..hey, there is an actual plot, and a very good one. A plot that represents two people(word used loosely) trying to find their way to each other, then find their way to circumnavigate the represive qualities of society, all for their forbidden love. But running alongside(or even ahead) of this quest for happiness is a journey to halt the ends of the earth, whether it be brought about by corrupted ecologist type people, or the pure, brilliant evil of an organization bent on power..and having the means to acquire it. Then there is the inner struggle, a requisite of any good story, but magnified to a fantastic scale in this story. What made me really happy was the fact that the story Wasn't just centered around sex. I find myself thirsting for more of this story. moar and moarXD
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From ANON - Zaphrix on January 03, 2010
As soon as I started reading that second section...I was thinking: Please, please tell me this is who I think it is. And then...Indeed, it was Giovanni. I laughed my head off. That was just too perfect. Giovanni, the master of team Rocket, is the dark being that commands Kiako. LOL, I got way to enthused by thatXD. Ave Rocketto Dan!

other than that,great introduction to inter-pokemon communication.
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From gardevoirfan on November 20, 2009
Okay, read through all 16 chapters, and I must say, it was really well crafted. I can see the malice of the enemies you've borrowed and enhanced greatly from "bumbling fools," to pure dark hearts.

I like the connection you make with each character, thus far making each of them important to the story.

Of course, the "lemon" parts of the story are most definitely full of lust and "excitement," that one can't help but become turned on by the carefully chosen words to describe the sensation that the Psymakio and Slash are feeling in the process.

Kudos for putting in careful effort to not taint the story with too many common words that would easily cause the reader to lose interest in the whole story itself. I'm not sure how consistent you are with your updates, but I do encourage you to see to it, that you finish this fic, no matter what.

~silentwriter~
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From the42jabberwocky on November 01, 2009
good stuf, really good stuff, and since I read the whole thing, the added character development makes it much better. I was an idiot to skip around like I did before, never again!. I am wondering if I should go through all the one shots before continuing on to arc 2, I think I will, because there might be some much needed information and character development in them that I'll need. So untill then, Catch you later.
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