Adult-FanFiction.org : Anime

Reviews for Sinners

By : Stormborn Apostle

From Stormborn Apostle on September 04, 2007
Your english ain't that bad. Always been comprehensible and you use better grammar than the average native-English-speaker, heh.
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From ANON - Fluffy_Lover on September 04, 2007
Fate/Stay Night is an anime , and a very good one may I add. You should watch it...
Hm I guess that I won't write a fic after all . My english is too shacky =/
The plot's idea is good tho , so I will try to find someone interested in writting it .
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From Stormborn Apostle on September 04, 2007
Don't worry, the story ain't going anywhere, heh.

My muse is kinda like a Gardevoir in black leather. Beautiful, elegant, capable of immense sweetness...and capable of whipping me into submission. :-O

Yeah, this chapter turned out very good, another example of when I finish something, read it over, and go "damn, I'm good", heh. The next chapter won't have any explosions or anything (as far as I've planned, heh), but it'll be cuuuuute. ^_^

I actually considered writing a oneshot fic in the style of a news article...about Ash, the famous Pokemon trainer, being arrested for Pokemon abuse after his Pikachu got killed when coming up against an Onix (or did the Onix cum up against him? O_O)...maybe I'll stick a mention of that in Sinners somewhere, kekeke.

I've never seen that...movie? lol I don't even know if it's a fuckin' movie or television show or whatnot, ha. But I can beta for people, as long as they understand that I'm a grammar nazi, heh.
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From ANON - Anon on September 04, 2007
........oh man , oh man oh man AHHHHHHHHHH

WHY GOD WHY I HAVE TO BE ON EXAMS RIGHT NOW OH DAMNIT! DAMN THIS UNIVERSITY, DAMN IT TO HELL I DON"T WANT TO ENTER IT ANYWAY

Sorry Slash I'm late ! Damn man you got inspired ! Your muse must be really good , even tho she is a bitch ....a sadomasochist one at that...wearing leather , using whips..Hmmm is she interested in threesomes?

Damn it Slash that was epic , the angst , the drama, the romance! F(*) I don't know what to say , my english won't allow me to express what i feel now. Sorry Slash , I'm too pathetic to write a review that would make justice to the 2 chapters that I didn't review =/ Perfection , maybe ? Nah that's not enough .

...On the bright side , it was good to read those 2 chapters in one run . Man that was so sweeeeeeet ... Prepare for cavities everyone , Slash said that the next chapter will be FLUFFY! F-L-U-F-F-Y ! Damn I love you man .

Oh the thundershock on onix thing was priceless , it mad eme giggle like a maniac. To be honest , I laughed out loud , so much that my mom got scared and She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in bel Air' and I whistled for a cab * slaps self*
...Now seriously, if you could make a link of "Liek use thundershock ok" to this fic it would be really funny . Maybe if Slash is reading the newspapers and suddenly she sees a small note about the World-Famous rapist named Brock was making another film with his onyx after raping a 10-years-old idiot or something. But hell , who am I to tell Slash what to write ? Do what you like Slash , that will be always the best choice ;-)

You are my hero now , Slash , and I'm waiting for the next chapter . You even inspired me to write my own fic , but I'm not sure baout my english ...IF I wrote a fic , could you be my beta reader? It will probably be a Fate/Stay Night fic ....If you didn't watch it I strongly suggest you to do it . The end is just so .......T_T

Oh shi-! My mom is comin-

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From Stormborn Apostle on September 04, 2007
Seems like this one's getting quite the favorable reaction. :-P

DRD---I'm as surprised as everyone else is that I got this out so quickly...and not some small chapter either, like 10 was, but 7000 words. I can't promise I'll always be able to go this fast...in fact, it'll likely be a very rare occurance, having two chapters in a week...but whenever I'm in the zone to write, I will, heh.

Luminous Dark---Gardevoir's definitely one of my favorites, heh. Powerful and beautiful...having one on your team is like having the Angel of Death in your ranks, and her wrath is so terribly lovely. :-D

Daemon---How I updated so fast, I can't say...it just sorta flowed to me and I made sure to write before the inspiration-wave wore off, lol. I know that there are probably a lot of AFF readers who wish I'd just have made them fuck in chapter one or two...there are PWP stories and immediate-sex tales that have a lot more hits than mine on this site...but the fact that I'm getting so many reviews seems to indicate that while my story doesn't have any fap-material...yet, hehe...it's a good read. And that's something I'm proud of.

I found myself almost crying writing parts of this last night, lol, because I hate when bad things happen to them, too. Certain parts of this story are going to upset me just as much as it'll upset the readers...but there will be light to balance out the dark, and I won't ever just hurt them because I'm bored, heh.

dark5523---No, they don't have any right to judge them. But many will. In the Pokemon world I've created, the idea of a human and a Pokemon being romantically and sexually connected seems as aberrant to them as a person fucking a dog would be to us...the difference is that a Pokemon is sentient, capable of rational thought, and thus the situation is, in reality, more like two people of the same gender being in love: no one's business but their own.

Luminous Dark---Go for it, heh. Gardevoir's a really good Pokemon to have in a story, not just because she's humanoid enough for nearly everyone to get off to (lol), but because she's just SO DAMNED ADORABLE! :3

Robin---I know, I was writing this and thinking "OH FUCK, I PROMISED LESS ANGST, AND THIS IS A GIANT ANGST-FEST", but hopefully the confession...and acceptance of the confession at the end...makes up for that, heh.

I was actually not happy with the fight scene as I wrote it...I was thinking to myself, "I'm going from calm, measured, easily-visualized conversation to chaotic, hectic, all-over-the-place combat in the rain"...but then I realized that it was actually a good way to write the battle. The people (and Pokemon) involved aren't able to look around and see every detail of the battle while they're running through the blood and thunder, trying to find each other. They're seeing nothing but brief glances of horror and madness when the lightning flashes, and that's all. So, in the end, I'm happy with the scene, heh.

I can't wait for the next chapter either, cuz it's gonna be FLUFFY. :-D

Luminous Dark---In this story, I change a lot of details from the game for realism/artistic purposes...for example, Pokemon are not limited to a mere four moves (I just can't picture Gardevoir forgetting anything, lol), they can learn techniques that they can't in the games, but are reasonable (Gardevoir's Psywave, for example), etc. As long as the changes are believable, you can do anything you want with a story, heh.

Black Whole---Everyone seems to lurve this chapter, yay! :-D

It's my favorite so far, too...the image of Slash sitting on a table while Kirlia gently tends to his wounds is just so fucking adorable and intimate, heh...remind me to work in a scene/image of the two of them sharing an umbrella in the rain sometime, cuz that's the only thing I can think of that rivals the cuteness, lol.

I absolutely had to mention Ash being stupid when I mentioned the Academy. We all know Ash probably cheated or bribed his way through school, lol.

*****GENERAL COMMENTARY*****

No plans on the next chapter yet (it almost always takes me a day or so to wind down from the adrenaline rush of finishing a really good chapter, heh), but it won't be too long, likely. The next one will have FLUFF, as our two protagonists wake up from their injuries and are able to talk about their feelings without lies, and without blood pouring from a dozen places. :3

I CAN'T WAIT! :-D

Incidentally, I chose Golbats as the primary assault-ers for a reason...y'all remember the sprite of Golbat from the first generation? Ol-school-Red-and-Blue-Golbat? JESUS FUCKING FUCK, that thing was creepy looking! It was like a giant mouth with wings, and a huge, nasty tongue hanging out! Gave me nightmares. Thank juice they eventually made it look less...disturbing. But yes, it was the image of the huge, distorted Golbats that was in my head when I wrote about them, lol, cuz FUCK those warped-Golbats are scary...

So yes, expect the next chapter...soon. I have to finish up a flash before the week's out, but that shouldn't be too hard, and then I'll be able to focus on Sinners some more. :-D
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From Darkone21 on September 03, 2007
i almost forgot i had a list that my gardevoir has for moves in my games ( for reference )

1. psychic ( since yours is superpowerful you might be able to pull off extrasensory instead )
2. shadow ball
3. attract
4 . calm mind

just throwing some moves up to be helpful incase you might need it ^^
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From sillyneko345 on September 03, 2007
Aaaaiiiiee, that was not a happier chapter at *all*!!! ...well, except for the end. The end made me happy X3

But boy, I've said it once and I'm sure I'll say it again, you sure know how to write a fight scene! Really, you do. It's like being right there in the middle of the battle and seeing it happen, except better, because you know what the fighters are thinking/feeling and you're not in any danger from explosions/shrapnel/pokemon attacks gone awry.

Oooh, and we've had the almighty confession of lurv!!! I CAN'T WAIT for the next chapter! ...but I will. 'Cause rushing fellow authors is not nice. Keep up the insanely good work!
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From Darkone21 on September 03, 2007
im thinking of making a gardevoir fic now .. inspired me ^.^ .. maybe an aff exsclsive .. what do you think slash ..
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From ANON - dark5523 on September 03, 2007
T_T .....

So sad... So beautiful...
Sinners or not, those *ssholes have no right to judge them!!!

Go get them, Gardevoir!!! T_T
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From UnholyJustice on September 03, 2007
*Claps*
*Claps some more*
*Claps will hands hurt*

Not only did you get out 2 chapters in less that a week you managed to blow all expectations out of the water.
I dunno how you did it but it's an amazing story so far. If there was a book I would buy it haha.

Wonderful wonderful wonderful.

Keep up the good work man. Finally after 12 Chapters they actually kiss. That has to be a record on aff for the most chapters without anything sexual going on. And for once I couldn't be happier. I actually care about these characters and hate it when bad stuff happens. If you can keep up this pace while maintaining the quality I will be very impressed. Great job :)

Newgrounds - Unholy Justice
AFF.net - Daemon
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From Darkone21 on September 03, 2007
oh hell yea .. Gardevoir is my fav pokemon .. a mix of drama and romance to entice the senses .. much love man
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From ANON - DRD (speechless) on September 03, 2007
...Oh. My. GOD.
That was the single greatest chapter this story has ever had. Combined with it coming out a mere 2 days after I found this fic combined with your er... luxurious writing style/pace it's just too much to handle.

SPOILERS

Holy fucking shit. Gardevoir evolves, geodude evolves (btw the graveler thing made me crack a smile) fucking sheer awesome.
And really, now that kirlia evolved into Gardevoir the chapters seem like they'll just flow from your mind like the amazon river! heheheh... If only you could keep up that pace. Maybe another chapter by the weekend, perhaps? Cuz I seriously think my head will explode from sheer awesome without another chapter...
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From Stormborn Apostle on September 03, 2007
Thanks for enjoying it, heh. I'm probably never going to pursue anything as a professional writer...and I doubt any editors would be willing to put up with my "I'll work when I feel like it" approach, lol. I do have one major original work that would certainly be novel-length, but it's been locked up in my head since middle school...it'd be a damned hard task to finally write it out somewhere.

But eh, maybe someday, when Sinners is done. :3
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From dooomdude on September 03, 2007
dude iv read this entire series so far. And i must complement your writing abilities. I have read many stories (not just this site, i mean novels and such), and i must say that none of them compare to emotions this series has invoked in me. I very much apreciate your difference in style from the other authors in the site. Smut and sex does not make a story. Have you ever seriously considered a carear in writing? I swear your style is excellent and descriptive, rivaling (in my mind anyway) the epicness of other writers such as JRR Tolkien and Robert Jordon. Keep up the excellent work man, you have a great gift. I look forward to the rest of this truely epic story.
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From Stormborn Apostle on September 03, 2007
You have no idea how happy I was to get to this chapter.

As I was writing it, I was yelling at myself for pumping all the angst into it, but thankfully I was able to compensate for it!

I can't wait to get to write about them being in love while NOT bleeding profusely. :3
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