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Reviews for Sinners

By : Stormborn Apostle

From Stormborn Apostle on August 03, 2007
Don't worry, I will, heh.

And if you think there's romantic/sexual tension now...heheheheh, just you wait and see.
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From Bishonen on August 03, 2007
I hate this write more soon i have got to seee what's going on this is like the only het story i have any intrest in right now

With Love, Imasuky Lomae
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From Stormborn Apostle on August 03, 2007
Heheheh.

Well, it just occurred to me that if they can share thoughts accidentally, they could share dreams, so... :-D

I also loved leaving it unclear who actually made the dream. Maybe they both did... ♥
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From Bishonen on August 03, 2007
I both love and hate you for that new chapter I'm glad that you put up a new chapter part way because i have the same weird-number OCD and because well new chapter but God Damn It that was so unfair to Kirlia, Slash and most of all us readers for that my samurai flesh eating pandas will make phone calls in the middile of that night and hang up.

With Love, Imasuky Lomae
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From Stormborn Apostle on August 02, 2007
Glad you like this story, but NEVAR shall I delete "Liek, use thundershock okay", HEH. Just as much as I am a fan of Pokemon am I an adamant hater of the anime, which does a grave disservice to the entire franchise.

Just don't read it and you'll be fine. ;-)
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From ANON - Malcolm Hurstell on August 02, 2007
Great Story!!!!!!!!!! Update ASAP!!!!!!! However, drop your other Pokemon story because honestly it insults your creative genius and I for one hate to see that happen to people with talent such as yourself.
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From Stormborn Apostle on August 02, 2007
Black Whole---Glad you enjoyed, and I'll try not to make y'all wait too long, heh!

CrazyIvan(HolyMan)---It's time to show you just how much of a nerd I am!

Sunny Day boosts fire by x1.5, which translates to 150%, lol; hence, a fire attack with a base power of 100 would pump up to 150...or, in the case of Flamethrower, it'd go from 95 to 142.5. This does not take Pokemon types into consideration.

It also halves the power of water attacks. Now, while that would essentially remove the type vulnerability for a pure-fire pokemon, poor Camerupt is also a ground type. So it still will be taking heavy damage, although it will be like it was a pure-fire being hit by water...only a 200% bonus instead of the typical devastating 400%.

Corphish using Water Gun against a Camerupt, with Sunny Day in effect=

40 (WG) x 1.5 (STAB)= 60 x 4 (double type disadvantage)= 240 / 2 (Sunny Day) = 120

Still powerful, but not catastrophic.

I don't specify what level Maxie's Camerupt is, but it is significantly higher than Corphish...remember that Camerupt evolves at level 33, so it's at least that high...of course, Maxie's Camerupt is going to be higher than that; none of Slash's Pokemon are higher than Kirlia, who is about level 20. With Sunny Day in effect, the sheer stat difference is simply too great for Corphish to overcome in terms of DEALING damage.

Now it terms of receiving it, Camerupt is whipping out Flamethrowers, which are base power 95, Same-Type-Attack-Boosted up to 142.5, Sunny Day'ed up to 213.75. Corphish's water type brings that down by 50% to about 107, which is still a powerful attack; remember that Corphish is on the end of a significant level disadvantage.

Now, if Sunny Day wasn't put into play, could Corphish have won? Possible, but still unlikely; Camerupt would still be hitting it with Flamethrowers with a power of 71.25 (or switching to ground-type attacks...).

In any case, it all boils down to the level disadvantage, and all this math is hurting my head...remember that I'm not going to be counting HP in my stories, lol. Battles will last as long as realistically needed. XD

Heh, I certainly can't criticize you for laziness considering my track record...hopefully we'll both get more stuff up soon...

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From ANON - CrazyIvan(HolyMan) on August 02, 2007
Wow, took you long enough.
Then again, my stories havn't been updated in, [counts on fingers] well, some time anyways.

Now then, a few things here. Sunny day, raises fire attack power by 1.5% not 150, and it weakens water by 1.5, not 150. Which is totaly dependant on the move. Also, Camrupt has lower special defense than normal defense, even with sunny day in play, the low special defense, combined with the x4 super effectiveness would result in massive damage.

Other than that, great chapter. Maxie's dead, along with two senior officers, but, someone has to replace him, who was that one Administater? Well,there were two, one male, one female, they would likely be the obvious choice. But however you do it is good.

So, I look forward to your next update, sad to say, I'm so lazy, that despite chapters on paper, I just can't get around to typing them up. (FYI I write in Russian, but when typing stories, I have to convert them to English on a seperate paper, then type that up, so, I'm basicly doing it three times) I'll get to it eventualy, so, untill next time, Semper phi, carry on.
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From Stormborn Apostle on August 02, 2007
Yeah, I figured that if I was going to make my readers wait a while (because they're not used to that already, lol), that I'd end with some happy fluff. Accidental telepathy is fun...

Judging from how randomly I normally write, expect another chapter of Sinners somewhere between...a week and a few months. :dodges thrown chairs:

Heh, I inspired you, eh? Awesome...it's nice to know it's that good! :-D

Incidentally, if anyone's curious, my inspiration for this story is a Star Wars Luke/Vader fic called Forbidden, which can be found at http://movies.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=544203668&chapter=1 if you're interested. The whole concept of making a story about a love society would refuse to tolerate comes from that excellent work. If you're a Star Wars fan, I heavily advise giving it a look. When I saw it, I thought the idea of Luke/Vader incest would be creepy and fail, but damned if that story isn't one of the most well-written pieces I've ever read in my life, professional authors included.

Anyhow, as for THIS story, I'm sure I'll be inspired soon enough. I'll probably scribble down plot notes over the next month or two, in between updating my other fics, and then sit down and write the next chapter when I have something nice and coherent. ^_^

Glad you're loving this story, and thanks for the kind review!
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From ANON - Angel on August 02, 2007
Simply amazing. Another fantastic chapter and, though I'm not too happy about it, a good place to leave off for a while. (Until you get back to it of course). A good leap forward in Kirlia and Slash's future "relationship." Hopefully your audience won't be deprived for too long (....I'M DYING OVER HERE!!!!)....ahem, yes. Alright. Well, hope your updates for your other stories come out the way you want. Meanwhile I have to work on my pokemon story--the inspiration of which I owe to you--though I promise, I have not ripped off anything from yours.

Urg. Anyway, I pray any and all inspirations that come to you are exactly what you need. Take care.
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From Stormborn Apostle on August 01, 2007
Anon---I feel so loved. :-D

anuja---Glad you liked it. I had fun making Watson such a bad-ass old man, heh.

My original intention when I came to AFF was to just make my Link's Awakening story Ballad of the Wind Fish, but then I started up Sinners and it got crazy popular, so I forgot about my baby...I'll be giving it some attention before I come back to this story, heh.
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From milk on August 01, 2007
AY YAI YAI, this story gets stronger and stronger! Your descriptive skills are great, and I know you just said you hate writing battles, I for one dont prefer to read them, but the action in this chapter was...well, rad. Very rad. The image of camerupt with the blood and water...superb. Your characterization of Wattson is great too, you have a way of making characters likable and dimensional. I'd totally hang out with Sinners-Wattson, hahahahaha.

Also, I'd be going "BLARRRGGG NOOOOOO!!!" at your working-on-other-stories announcement, but I know exactly where you're coming from and I just hope you get back in the zone soon :D

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From ANON - Anon on August 01, 2007
GO UPDATE OR DIE

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From Stormborn Apostle on August 01, 2007
Glad you liked it, heh.

Yeah, I hate battle scenes...but apparently people liked this chapter's battle, so...fine with me, lol.

It's weird writing sometimes. There are things I KNOW are good...things that impress myself (like the end of the chapter, I think was pretty swell, heh). But then there are other things I'm kinda :meh: over, like the battle scene. I personally don't think that part is a particularly outstanding bit of writing, so I get a little worried when I submit it.

But hey, usually I get a good response, so I guess I just need a bit more confidence in my own abilities, lol.
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From ANON - anonymous on August 01, 2007
Note: This is the anonymous that commented previously on June 21st.

I discovered the fanfiction over a month ago, and I think the new chapter is most certainly worth the wait. Considering you hate to write battles, you did the battle very well. I could feel the tension of it. This has been another good read.
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