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Reviews for Sinners

By : Stormborn Apostle

From ANON - DizzyRye on January 09, 2008
First off, Imasuky, yes! write it!
(And yeah, Sweet Kiss would probably work better, but they are pretty close regardless.)

Hmm, Flannery/Gardevoir happy fun time? Nice!
(Personally I'm a fan of Sabrina and Jasmine, but Flannery's hot, too. Too bad, judging by the general fan concensus, that she only gets it on with her Typhlosion.)

Hmm, one more Pokerotica attack. Could Slash use MilkDrink with Gardevoir? (Disreagrding pregnancy details and all that.)
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From Bishonen on January 09, 2008
Flannery is hot no pun indented but personally I like Erika the most in fact one the most common pairing I do is Erika and Sabrina as Mistress and slave and I�m good at loving S&M kinda stuff.

With Eternal Love, Imasuky Lomae
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From Stormborn Apostle on January 09, 2008
RoboRed---Hilariously enough, I sucked at that kind of battle and hated them. Battle Dome and Battle Pike for me.

Luckily for you (and me) 4th generation Pokemon will only be used sparingly in Sinners. And when they are used, they won't necessarily be strictly canon in terms of D/P, because all of my D/P knowledge comes from Serebii.net, lol.

All I shall say on Red Eyes is this: falling seven miles into the open ocean makes Kiako a sad panda.

I was actually making a list of every Gym leader/Elite Four member throughout Pokemon gens 1-3, intending to give them all special titles and decide which were still alive and which would have some part in the story, but halfway through I said to myself, "this is stupid. Hardly any of these guys are going to show up, and I can deal with them when they pop in." Heh. So FUCK Lieutenant Surge and his fucking stunted Raichu. bwahahaha

Luckily, a very hot Gym Leader will be showing up soon. Oh yes. And if I can't get her nekkid in Sinners proper, I WILL oneshot her. YES.

Imasuky Lomae---Gardevoir is bouncy, both in terms of personality and...physical attributes, heh.

And with her, even the shitty Constrict move wins. Fuck yeah.

Reo690---Rotom is swell. And haha, cliffhangers are only going to get worse. You can bet that, if I kill off someone important, I'll either end the chapter right before it happens, so you worry about them, or I end it right after, so you're left wondering what the fuck happens next. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAlol

ThatGuy---Slash is fearsome crafty.

The Kiako-nightmare scene wasn't in it originally; I'm glad I put it in. The sooner I expand his character stuff, the sooner I get to make him tear shit up with gusto, haha.

Rotom looks pretty swell, especially since its ability is Levitate---a godsend for electric Pokemon. I want one.

The chapter title was undecided for a long time---so much varying stuff happened in the chapter that I couldn't think of a title. Death From Above came to me randomly, and is super mega swell.

DizzyRye---If Sinners encourages even one person to write some more Garderotica, it will have been worth writing. There's so little Gardevoir hentai and sexfics out there...sigh.

Nerdgasm over this: I'm planning a oneshot involving Gardevoir and Flannery having some girl-girl action. No joke. Oh ho ho.

Imasuky Lomae---GARDEVOIR USED ROLE PLAY!

And go for it---like I said, we need moar Gardie.

RoboRed---Yes.
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From RoboRed on January 09, 2008
More Gardevoir stories are good, IMO. :)
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From Bishonen on January 09, 2008
DizzyRye I might write a story like that but it would use the Gardevoir I have planed for my story becasue she's already a pervert oh and I think Sweet Kiss would be more appropriate or less depending on how you look at it.

With Eternal Love, Imasuky Lomae

P.S. If at least four others say they like to see it i'd write that story
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From ANON - DizzyRye on January 09, 2008
Imasuky- Wow, I wasn't even going to mention Water Sport, nice. *applauds*

Wonder if we should stop this now before we really get out of hand. (I can actually see someone writing a spin-off one shot for Gardevoir in a PokeSex Battle with attacks like what we've said... Maybe some info taken from the Pokegirl setting, but overall still Pokemon. Either way, haha.)

Wonder how many fans would nerdgasm if Gardevoir and Lopunny shared a Lovely Kiss?
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From ANON - ThatGuy on January 08, 2008
Well, it looks like none of us got 700... Slash did. Dammit, this is what I get for sleeping in... gah.

Review tiem;

I do believe that this chapter can be summed up with one word; badass. Everything was just so intense, right from the start. Now that I think about it, everyone before me has already said what I'm thinking, so I'll just shut up now. lol.

Though I never expected Rotom...while I don't have Diamond or Pearl, or a DS for that matter, I do have Serebii, which is the only reason I know of 4th gen. Pokemon. But now that I think about it, it does make sense; Rotom is the most powerful Electric-type out there... I think. Neve checked its stats... >_>

Question; the title, "Death From Above", is kinda confusing; does it deal with Kiako's meeting with a certain legendary, or Rotom's attacks on Psymakio? Because it applys to both of them, in a way...

KABOOM!
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From reo690 on January 08, 2008
Well, I wasn't expecting the Rotom, and also, CLIFFHANGER ENDING YOU BASTARD!
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From Bishonen on January 08, 2008
Two things relating to pokemon attacks in my stories they can learn as many attacks as I say are necessary and some attacks that I think Gardevoir should be able to learn are

Bounce

Swallow

and lastly Water Sport only really big time perverts will get that one
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From RoboRed on January 08, 2008
Oh snap, he's right! 0_o

Anyways, great job, Slash. The battle scene went WAY beyond what I was expecting. I never expected it to go more along the lines of something like the trust battles in Battle Frontier in Emerald version. One thing I didn't like is that you made Wattson's poke'mon one from Diamond/Pearl, so I had to go and look it up (still don't have a DS or either version, dammit).

So now I'm currently left wondering several things. Things that include "what will happen to Kiako now?", and (on a pretty unrelated note) what's with all the special titles given after the names of people like Wattson, Bruno, and Koga? If Wattson is the Master of Thunder, then what does that make Lt. Surge?

On an even more unrelated and rather creepy note, I was listening to the Halo 3 soundtrack I just bought while I was reading the chapter, and all the songs pretty much matched up perfectly. 0_o
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From Stormborn Apostle on January 08, 2008
derp---Yeah, I don't think I could ever write something S/M-like. I'm not very good at equating violence/pain with love, and while I know some authors could make it co-exist with romance, I'm not knowledgeable enough of SM to write it well and not skilled enough of a writer to join the two, lol. My favorite fanfiction "Forbidden" has some kinky stuff in it (nothing extreme though, light bondage and spanking and such), and it manages very well...but I am not on that author's caliber.

I hope that story gets updated soon, incidentally...

And yes, Slash's team is comparatively weak right now...but they grow stronger every day, and will become a mighty force in time.

Imasuky Lomae---Mud Sport is swell. I never use it in the games, and I actually don't think Corphish can really learn it, anyway, but Sinners is allowed to swing a bit with moves and such, heh.

Kiako does not know about his own origin (other than his disturbing dream-memories), but I think Giovanni might be wrong about him not caring even if he did know. I think Red-Eyes might be pretty pissed. We'll have to see how that develops later, huh? Heh.

Black Whole---It is a long one, ain't it? When I first 'finished' it, it was about 15000 words. But then, when my internet died, I did a little more work on it and beefed it up. I have no idea if there will ever be any other chapters as massive as this one was...at least not for a while. But it was fun to write.

Rotom was also swell to add. A Ghost/Electric type sounds so fucking cool, and I always envisioned Watson having some crazy-powerful little bugger with him wherever he goes, hiding in his watch or something. Apparently there is some debate over whether or not Rotom is a legendary Pokemon or not, so I compromised and made it the "spark of the thunder god", which could mean whatever the reader wants, heh.

When it comes to spoilers, it's okay to talk about what happens in the chapters---that's what reviewing is for---but at this point, I am more willing to talk about things that have not yet been definitively revealed in the story yet...theories about Kiako (many of which have now been resolved, although believe me when I say that I've barely scratched the surface of his story) and the King and etc. I probably won't outright confirm any guesses, but I'll discuss them, so anyone reading this page should be prepared for that.

FluffyLover---Read above, heh.

I don't think I'm bad at writing battles, but not spectacularly good. I prefer writing character interaction and lemon stuff (Garderotica!) over action, but sometimes a story needs a good ass-kicking contest, heh. I wouldn't do anything like make up new attacks, although I am kind of laissez-faire in regards to what moves a Pokemon can learn (Gardevoir's Psywave, for example) and all. I try to stay faithful to the game, but while the game is much better than the anime...it can still be limiting sometimes, lol.

Araquiell---Glad you liked it. And I think I can say that Kiako survived without it being much of a spoiler---I may not have much control over this story, but I wouldn't kill off my antagonist before he got a chance to do a lot of antagonizing---although he might be injured, and is certainly very, very ticked off. The specifics of what happened to him will likely be in the next chapter.

DizzyRye---Sometimes I make myself feel like a schmuck. When I compared some of my old writing to Sinners, I often get the "damn, this sucks" feeling, heh. One good thing about this story is that it's raised my writing quality as I go, and other future fics I write will benefit from the experience of doing Sinners.

I've been told that I "write like a cowboy"---disobeying perfect grammar to make lines have more passion, using antiquated and 'hardass' terms like "being on the prod for someone", "gunna", etc---but it's actually my Stephen King influence talking and not Clint Eastwood, lol. Some terms---namely the three types of passive psychic power: prog, pre-cog, and post-cog---will be explained in detail, although most other obscure terms should be understandable in context.

Not sure when chapter 20 will be completed. I planned out 19-21 while I was waiting for a new computer, but I ended up changing 19 so much (including adding entirely unexpected plot points, like Giovanni's thoughts about Kiako) that 20 will be much different than what I originally outlined. But I'd like to say that 20 will happen in January.

lol, I'd like to say that, but...you know me.

PokemonFanatic---Glad you enjoyed, and more goodness is on the way.

And I win review 700. Take that, everyone. hahahahaha
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From ANON - PokemonFanatic on January 08, 2008
Wow! This story is sweet!! I just simply love it!! I certanly cannot WAIT for the next chapter! Please update soon.
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From ANON - DizzyRye on January 08, 2008
*sigh*

Slash, you're really making the rest of us feel like schmucks. (At least me, at any rate.)
Once again, you write a chapter that was simply amazing. The flow seemed perfect, characterization was spot on, the battle was well-written and believable. Ego-stroking aside, there were only two small (VERY small) things that marred an otherwise perfect chapter. And that's more my opinion than anything. Your choice of words, for two different phrases. 'On the prod' for Kiako being one, and 'say true' being the other. Just phrases I hadn't really ever encountered before, so hardly something to complain about. Aside from that, I don't think there's anything even a little wrong with your update. Hope the next one comes soon, and keep on keepin' on!
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From ANON - Araquiell on January 08, 2008
Can't say much more than has already been said, amazing chapter, Slash! That was an impressive bit of writing you did there, I really enjoyed the battle! I can't wait for the next chapter, and that whole part with Kiako and..well, don't want to spoil it, but damn, he somehow survived that!? I'm all excited for the next chapter now! Goodluck with writing it!
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From ANON - FluffyLover on January 08, 2008
Well this is probably my last review in the review page , I won't read the reviews anymore since I don't want any spoilers... If you want to answer this review , please send me an e-mail Slash.

This chapter...was much better than I thought that it would be. You underrate your "battle-writting" skills , they are quite good. I feared that you may create new attacks or something like that ( and to be honest , I hate that. I like that the battles stay true to the games , with some of the action of the anime, like moving , dodging and stuff. Making completely new BS moves is quite frustating for me), but it seems that I underestimated you as well.

Slash's plan was quite good and the battle was full of action and adrenaline.I really liked it.

This made me remember that YOU are you , heh ^^. And I know your potential...so I will never doubt you again. As always , keep rocking , Slash ^^

(oh btw , my strategy would've been like this: Gardevoir and Electrike first , electrike would attract eletrics attacks , protecting Gardevoir from most harm, and also baiting Manetric out of melee range. Gardevoir would attack form afar , and she would probably win against Lanturn , since confusion can redirect lanturn's projectiles. Plus , I would've taught her double team , for addicional dodging capabilities, and maybe for more naughty purposes ^^ Graveler as my last pokemon , I would keep him till lanturn was out. Corphish's Mud sport really got me there ^^)
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