Adult-FanFiction.org : Anime

Reviews for Sinners: Arc 2

By : Stormborn Apostle

From ANON - Jasmin Kaiba on February 26, 2009
Nice chapter! I was waiting to see when you'll bring Flannery in again. Now I can't wait for the next chapter. It was a good idea splitting the longer chapter into shorter parts.
Keep up the good work.
Report Review
From Stormborn Apostle on February 26, 2009
Imasuky Lomae--As Slash points out in the next chapter, mocking a religion is legal, at least technically. Threatening to kill someone is not. So yes, he's lucky Psymakio stopped him in time.

And hopefully, with my shorter and more frequent updates, my inbox won't be flooded with so many threats and pleading "update plz" messages, heh.

RichardtheDragon---And rage is a lot worse when it's amplified by taking a psychic mate, enhanced by receiving a foreign source of power, and destabilized by a chaotic veil of unholy energy. :'(

Satoku---The angst tag is there for a reason, though this is only the tip of the iceberg. The Fallarbor incident will, one day, seem like a relatively minor crisis to Slash and Psymakio.

The next chapter picks up the pace, as they travel through the ashlands and confront an incredibly powerful opponent. Plus a certain sexy redhead is introduced, though she won't get her proper limelight until the chapter AFTER this recent update. I planned to continue Twisted until they reached Fallarbor, but I was already a little late with this chapter, and stopped at 9000 words.

And heh, if I can't do a mating season in the main Sinners story, it'd make good oneshot material. That reminds me...after chapter 27 is out, I'll finally be able to write my long-planned Flannery-tastic oneshot, since she'll have a real personality and all (she makes a bad first impression on Slash in 26, despite coming to his aid, lol). Yay...

Psyence--Two updates in a little more than a week? OH HO HO. I like this new update style.

Vyers---That's exactly what Slash is. He doesn't really know what's happening to him; all he knows is that it's fucking with his mind and his (barely understood) powers, and it's starting to put himself and his pack in danger. Until the pack meets with the Second Storyteller (who isn't THAT far off anymore), they'll be mostly in the dark.

As for foreshadowing...seeing as the entity that put the hourglass in Slash's head was insanely powerful, it would take another insanely powerful entity to move it. Plus you'd have to find someone to put it IN, and I doubt many people would want to volunteer for that, lol.

Thecakenator---That's fucked me up, too. It appears to have stopped the review spam problem though, at least in the sections of AFF that I frequent. I'm training myself to copy my reviews before submitting them.

And yes, I like the update style, too. Much less stressful for me.

Kitsune_Writer---Chapter 26 is out now, and 27 is on the way. Hooray!
Report Review
From joseph33759 on February 22, 2009
nice, I hope you update soon, and still a good chapter length
Report Review
From ANON - Thecakenator on February 19, 2009
Well, I had a longer review typed out, but I accidentally hit "review" without entering in the word check, so it got wiped. Damnit.
Anyways, I think the shorter, more frequent chapters will help the flow of the story a lot. Massive gaps between chapters kind of creates too much of a break, even if the resultant chapter is huge... I personally short, frequent bursts of story to be better.
Report Review
From Satoku on February 18, 2009
Straight up insulting someone's god, telling Gardie to "GTFO of my head"...mister Slash is getting a bit angsty, isn't he? :(

Also, is the pace going to pick up? While characterization is much appreciated, flow is important, too. Lots and lots of talking makes me start wondering if anything is going to happen soon.

And lol, a mating season oneshot would be wonderful. A girl so horny she can't control herself--I've read many hmanga with catgirls that pull that one off nicely.
Report Review
From RichardH on February 18, 2009
Rage is a powerful thing... the wrong kind can darg people into Destruction and Oblivion, the right kind can mend wrong and bring peace...

I love this latest chapter, can't wait to see what you have in store.
Report Review
From Bishonen on February 18, 2009
Alright that was awesome I'm so glad that htis was finalliy updated I loved tyhe new Chapter if Slash had kept talking like that this may have been the last chapter because he'd have been lynched.

Oh and if Sinners is going to get more updates i no longer need to use my plan to trap slash useing a box, a stick, a bit of string, and a blow up doll that looks like a Gardevoir.

With Eternal Love, Imasuky Lomae
Report Review
From Stormborn Apostle on February 18, 2009
Sorry if my replies are short, but I got an update to upload and I'm in a hurry! Plus it's 6 in the fucking morning right now, and I haven't slept yet. :-(

jpspike411---In the original version, she's more like an enraged succubus than a crazy-with-grief ghost. That wasn't how I wanted her portrayed as.

Hallation---I'll give you a hint: I need to update something very soon.

Vyers---I've only played the first, but your theory is backwards. :3

Hallation---The Shadow is a Pokemon, though I'm taken massive liberties with it, lol. Jirachi has also appeared in this story already, so...take that as you will.

jperric---Let's not discuss my lateness this time. :'(

Jirachi is NOT the Shadow, but the Jirachians may be surprised when they find out just what they have been worshiping. From all the dark-manipulation of the world, you may think they're onto something with their anti-dark ideals, but boy, oh boy, are they missing the big picture.

RoboRed---Psymakio being able to stop her was a second draft idea, yes. Originally Miyako just fucking throttles him and leaves. :'(

Knight---The decision to not give the team a flight-capable Pokemon was intentional. If they could just fly anywhere, travel would be too easy, lol. THEY GOTS TO HOOF IT.

As for the hourglass, it's going to bring death and nothing can stop it. :'(

SF---Glad you liked it.

Kirby---Jirachi may not be the Shadow, but...uh oh. Also, Slash and Psymakio will be in pretty deep trouble with the Jirachians sooner rather than later. :'(

Also...perhaps.

Satoku---I WILL NOT BE DEALING WITH THAT, LOL. She does not lay eggs, but I'm not giving her a...cycle. :'(

I AM BUT A HUMBLE YOUNG MAN WHO IS STILL IMMATURE ENOUGH TO CRINGE AT SUCH THINGS, MY GOOD SIR

There may be a "mating season" sort of thing, maybe in a oneshot, heh, but that's it.

As for Graveler and other "gimmick" evolution, I will do it by level. But high level. Graveler might evolve at the equivalent of level 50 or something.

General Shooter---While six months of my story would take about thirteen years and 3434654 chapters to get through (lol, exaggeration), no, I'm not going to kill him. But neither will the hourglass be broken. :'(

EagleRay---Already addressed it; intelligent critique good, spam and pretentious shit bad. End

unit00---If you had been aroused by the original version, you'd be a weird dude. XD

As for Flannery and Blaziken...well, all mating bonds are different, but they all share a common theme---a connection. Gardevoir bonds are insanely strong, with the whole mind-tampering deal, but all bonds allow basic communication without the need for speech. More on this when they show up again.

Cerebrate Fate---sdfgdfg

Iota---imma chargin' mah lazer

Kitsune_Writer---OH HO HO HO

You will be surprised.

Imasuky Lomae---Thanks. It was hell. Also, I got the flu last week, lol, so NOT FAIR.

Anon---Anywhere from three or four to thirty-plus. This next one goes on 13 pages at 12-point font.

Cerebrate_Fate, Vyers, Santa---Thankee-sais

RichardtheDragon---I felt bad writing this next chapter. Slash is a meanypants sometimes. :'(

HE BETTER APOLOGIZE.

Anon---hooray

Psyence---There will be an mpreg tag. Obviously it will be somewhat satirical of crackfics. XD

Skyler---Haha, expecting Slash to take refuge in Bible verses is like expecting...something else ridiculous.

Boy, though, what will Slash say when the gods start to pop in and say hi to him? XD

Imasuky Lomae---Diz-amn

Skyler---Hopefully, by replying to so many people at once, I'll limit that effect. I wish there was a reply system, a la Newgrounds...would make things much simpler.

The Face in the Shadows---I SHALL DO THIS QUICKLY

Glad you like it.

If you think it's falling apart now, wait til the gods start dying.

What kind of mother would name their kid Ash or Misty? :'(

Many people forget that Team Rocket was pretty bad-ass early on, cutting power and blinding Pikachu and shit...plus Giovanni was never lame. My Team Rocket is fucking crazy, and even Jesse and James got noble deaths (though they haven't been shown yet). The Aquas and Magmas are downright lame in comparison.

The Dark Core, while not originating from Slash, may nonetheless become his permanently. What it is, where it came from, and what it's meant to be, that will come later. But not much later.

Oh, Darkrai will be a somewhat significant character in this. :3 And Slash got fucked because he's stupid...in my stories, stupid people DIE, so they better learn fast, heh. He'll get a reprieve, but not a pass.

Tee hee, cocks

Rotom was just sort of dicking around, trying to piss Psymakio off and get her fighting hard. They may fight again someday, and maybe Gardie will be less of a glass cannon then.

Also, did I mention I HATE "update now" messages? XD

ClydeAurion---While the story will still be very, very long, I am giving shorter and more frequently updated chapters a try. Your review was the final decision-maker for me, in fact, lol. Hope you like it, though there will still be the occasional monster-chapter even if I do adopt it, heh.

Kay, time for short update. Next piece will be in a few days. And I fucking mean that, lol.

Report Review
From ANON - The Face in the Shadows on February 02, 2009
Wow. Just wow. I am almost at a loss for words about this story. I've been killing myself trying to follow this thing ever since I did a google search for Gardevoir and found the name of this fic. Please note now that I was never one for writing mile long reviews, so please try to imagine what I say as many pages longer and along the same lines, and you should have an idea about my actual opinion of this story.

First off, the concept is great. I love it. I always expected that someone, somewhere would write a fic about a human falling for a humanoid Pokemon. You have taken that basic idea and matured it into a beautiful tale of forbidden passion set against the backdrop of a world falling apart at the seams. Stunning.

Next, the characters. Each character is first off very unique, which is important. I have yet to see two significant characters that seem enough like each other to be called unimaginative. Secondly, the characters stay true to themselves as far as I can tell, which is also important and very nice. One tiny gripe I have in this area is that you named the main character Slash Firestorm. To me, that just doesn't seem logical. The last name Firestorm I might be able to swallow, but what mother would name their kid Slash? Still, it's a minor thing with me and does not detract from the story.

The villains. May I please bow down and worship you for actually making Team Rocket a legitimate threat? I am quite frankly overjoyed that the infamous crime syndicate not only can now be taken seriously, but is actually downright dangerous. I have been waiting for a very long time for either the anime or the games to do what you have done, but I have been disappointed. That was part of the reason I eventually stopped watching the anime, though I'm still currently playing the games. There's just something so almost painfully addictive in the little things that will not let me stop until I own all 491...or some number like that. And the idea of an overarching superbeing that can warp reality and reason? Satisfyingly creepy and awe-inspiring. Although, I'm a little worried that unless our rag tag band of heroes gets mucho grande amigos, Slash and Psy will have to develop powers that are frankly not believable to combat it. Personal concern.

I love the idea of the Dark Core. I am personally fascinated, almost obssessed with Dark-Type Pokemon (I'd probably be lynched in a week if I ever got sent to the world of Sinners) and I admit that often I would wish that I were able to use power like that. Seeing a hero who can, within believable realms for the moment, is very gratifying to me.

I also love the twist where Slash ends up practically dooming himself for no reason. I hope you have something really awesome planned for the removing of that damned little hourglass. I would also like to mention at this point that I am very relieved that the person/thing that did that to Slash was not Darkrai. I know this because when Slash tried to use the Dark Core against it, he found he couldn't because the whatever-it-was wasn't really dark. Darkrai's a straight up Dark-Type, so he's clean. By the way, please tell me Darkrai will make an appearance in this! He would be perfect, I know it! Oh, and Giratina wouldn't be a bad touch. Arceus too, maybe. (Little humor: I discovered this story after Arceus had been unveiled, and all through the story I was laughing at the poor Jirachins. Poor guys don't even realize they're worshipping the wrong god (or goddess, if you�re among the community that portrays Arceus as female.) And really, how did they picture Jirachi as a god? He acts like a little kid, for God�s sake! Unless you�re planning to change his personality for the story.)

As for the lemon segments, I won�t go into detail about my thoughts. I have absolutely no qualms about reading them, but for some reason I don�t care to describe them. Go figure. Anyway, very nicely done.

Little thing that I just thought of. Is it just me, or did Rotom seem a little too serious? Granted, you described the tone he used as that of a little child, but the things he was saying didn�t seem very childish. I�d always pictured Rotom as more of an impish prankster. Again, just my personal thoughts. Still loved the gym battle. I was disappointed to see Slash lose, but on the other hand if he won every time it would not get very exciting.

Wow. And here I was saying this was gonna be short. I could probably keep rambling but I�ll cut myself off here. Please hurry with chapter 25. I am currently dying a slow, horrible death as I wait for it.

It is not thy place to judge thy fellow man, for only he who is without sin may cast the first stone, and we are all sinners.

Report Review
From on January 31, 2009
Did you exclude all of Slash's replies? That ought to knock it down a bit...though not recently.

Currently compiling a soundtrack for Sinners. Some chapters are easy (Chapters 12, 16, and 17, it's remarkably easy to find good sex songs), but some of the later ones take upwards of an hour to read and accordingly need a soundtrack all their own. Now if Chapter 25 was up, I could get some songs for that, but...well, I'll just have to focus on the earlier chapters.

UPDATE ALREADY
Report Review
From Bishonen on January 31, 2009
Just added up all the reviews of Sinners (side stories inculded) and total was 1198 and to think that's just 24 chapters in the main story 6 chapters for the side stories not counting LIEK USE THUNDERSHOCK OKAY becasue it's not reallly part of Sinners but still...

With Eternal Love, Imasuky Lomae
Report Review
From on January 16, 2009
I knew I shouldn't have held my breath for Chapter 25 in November. I'd be dead by now if I had. If you're interested, there's a psalm that I think would apply to a later part of the story, should Slash and co. find themselves in a valley:

Even though I walk
Through the valley of the Shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
For you are with me.
--Psalm 23:4

Halfway appropriate, with the Shadow reference. Kind of a middle finger to religion too, using one of their verses to describe our favorite sinners.
Report Review
From ANON - Anon on December 31, 2008
Happy new years!
Report Review
From RichardH on December 29, 2008
well, this is starting to become more and more interesting by the sentence, hope the next chapter is just as good
Report Review
From ANON - Santa on December 24, 2008
Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas! (And a happy birthday to Cerebrate Fate too!)
Report Review