Adult-FanFiction.org : Anime

Reviews for Sinners: Arc 2

By : Stormborn Apostle

From Bishonen on August 05, 2008
And one last thing Gardie got KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT!!!

It had to be said.

With Eternal Love, Imasuky Lomae
Report Review
From Bishonen on August 05, 2008
Let me explain why I couldn�t say anything in the first rexiew it was because this chapter just belw me away nearly all of it made me cry I had to stop reading for five mintues and just cry uncontrollably this chapter is going into my list of top ten sad momentes right up there with the end of Lunar 2 when Lucia went back to the Blue Star, The last ten mintues of Millennium Actress, And the last few episodes of the first sesaon of Salior Moon. Oh and about the whole thing with Kiako that really kicked ass it really showed what kind of power he has even better than anything else he�s done so far.

With Eternal Love, Imasuky Lomae
Report Review
From ANON - Max on August 05, 2008
Also, that whole "PSYCHIC PRESENCE IN MAH STOMACH" wasn't that far off either haha. Just the wrong stomach.

:P
Report Review
From ANON - Max on August 05, 2008
Goddamn. I'm going to have to wait forever for the next installment, but wait I shall (and perhaps even with some modicum of patience)

Nice development. It's like three of your chapters from before all in one (judging by the word count, it pretty much is).

KEEP IT COMIN! :D
Report Review
From Stormborn Apostle on August 05, 2008
Imasuky Lomae---I hope that's good, lol.

Espy---Yeah, cactus is pretty random, heh. The revelation was a little too anticlimactic in the first draft of the chapter, so I made it a bit more emotional.

Flannery will likely get an appearance in 24, and join up with the main events in 25. While there won't be any swinging (outside of oneshots), that doesn't mean that Slash and Psymakio won't accidentally catch them getting frisky. :-D

Hallation---The curse isn't a casual creation, either. It is nearly indestructible.

Hm, I wonder how Miyako might react when she finds out? Or Angel? :-D

Corphish will evolve...sooner or later. When he does, though, there will be quite the reaction from a certain Gardevoir...

Enjoi-Kurbai---Glad you liked the chapter. And the review cut off because AFF construed the bracket as unclosed html, I think.

Satoku---YES. "Other worlds than these" has that lovely sense of wonder and hope and mystery that I love. Instead of having to describe an afterlife, I just use that phrase and let the reader wonder about it on their own.
Report Review
From ANON - Satoku on August 05, 2008
Other worlds than these...lol, someone's read Dark Tower.
Report Review
From ANON - Enjoi-Kurbai on August 05, 2008
What the hell.. more than 3/4ths of my review didn't even show up...

Oh well, I liked the chapter. Nuff said.
Report Review
From ANON - Enjoi-Kurbai on August 05, 2008
Wow. Wow wow. Wowie wow.

Not to deflate your balloon, Slash, but the baby was actually my first guess (though I figured it would have already been born >.
Report Review
From ANON - Hallation on August 05, 2008
I say, I particularly enjoyed this chapter by comparison to the last.
The cruel twist from our 'corrupted god' was a deliciously harsh lesson to Slash, I believe. I thrive on black stories.

I was hoping Corphish would evolve in the combat(OMFG SUPERLOBSTER), but I suppose it would feel a bit rushed if two pokemon advanced to their final form so soon of each other.
Report Review
From puffball64 on August 05, 2008
Yet another chapter of a wonderful story completed. Keep it up Slash. Also, I doubt only a random assumption would've correctly pointed out who was pregnant. Certaintly came out of left field.

Will there definately be more Flannery goodness to come in the next few chapters?
Report Review
From Bishonen on August 05, 2008
Nothing I have nothing to say this chapter is....is..... Nothig to say...

With Eternal Love, Imasuky Lomae
Report Review
From Stormborn Apostle on August 05, 2008
Sorry for the delay, but it's been a bad week for me. Internet outages and personal shit. Good news is that the new chapter's gonna be uploaded as soon as I finish this response. It's fucking huge, too, ~31000 words. O_o

Anyway, I'll make this brief, because I got a lot of e-mails and shit to respond to.

Jack Nativity---Ya know, honestly, I was planning to write another long-ass point-for-point response like I did the first time. That was before my life got flipped, turned upside down, though, so I lost a good deal of patience. Since most of what you're doing is just re-iterating your old points, complete with a good amount of "yes, I'm a jackass, but I'm a writer myself so lalalala HEY! LISTEN!", I am going to just 'tl;dr' this review. Well, I read it, but I can respond to it adequately with one run-on sentence.

It's the beginning of the story, you don't have access to the ultimate outline anymore than these guys do, nothing appears in the story without a purpose (I'm a big Chekhov's gun fan), and if you have a problem with epic stories that involve more than some shit winning at the Pokemon League, GTFO.

...wow, that was faster and easier than I thought. Shoulda done that the first time...might have been able to update before my internet died.

Lejos de casa---Glad you like it. Chickens are indeed cool, and the baby mystery is revealed in 23. LOL NO ONE GUESSED, NOT SURPRISED.

Hallation---Anyone who reads just to mock a story theme is a dick with no valid advice. And anyone who is a dick can suck my story theme dry. Shucks howdy, if y'all knew how epic the ending will be...lol, more than the world will be on the line.

Imasuky Lomae--Exactly. Long LOOK AT ME reviews are also gonna be the first ones I delete if I start having trouble loading the review page like I did for Arc 1.

Also, sorry I couldn't submit on your birthday, but...internet troubles started then. Good news is that the extra time gave me more time to tinker, and I think it's a lot better than it was on the 31st.

Max---Yep for most of it. The nature of Light and Dark is going to be a major concept as the story goes on...namely, what the lines are and where they blur. Incidentally, now I want to write a oneshot involving Gardie saving a Pokemart from the Hamburglar. And raping him with her psychokinesis. :-D

Incidentally, the concept of "I now have one baby" is the closest anyone got to the truth.

Hallation---GAH I WISH I COULD DRAW

GAHHHHHH

Iota---It's important to know this now: Sinners takes place over several years. Current outline has it ending three years from the current timeline, although that may change to a little more or a little less. The Pokemon are just starting to get developed, Slash is just getting introduced to his dark powers, Gardie hasn't even had her personal crisis with Dark-type packmates yet...hell, like Kiako considered them earlier, they're still barely out of their eggs.

Also, Kiako. I'm falling in love with my antagonist in this one. This is one of his first appearances where he's not totally evil (although he IS a sadistic bastard, don't get me wrong). I think Red Eyes is gonna get progressively more word-time as I move forward.

Vyers---I have a DA account, incidentally, but it's only so I can view mature-rated shit. XD

I was thinking of putting Sinners on it, but there's a lot of html that I'd have to manually convert. Some of the chapters have break html, so copypasta would be...complicated.

Ragdoll---Kiako and Slash are going to get...pretty antagonistic after Fallarbor. Right now Slash is like OMG KIAKO MAKES ME ANRGY. Kiako is like OMG I NEED TO GET THAT FUCKING PEARL, OKAY, FUCK. After Fallarbor it'll be good ol' mutual "I want to kill that fucking bastard" for a good while. :-D

Incidentally (lol), feel free to spread the word about Sinners, as Google doesn't seem to like AFF very much. I'm not saying that anyone should spam links somewhere, but if someone in a forum goes "oh god Gardevoir is so hot"...well, there's an appropriate moment, lol.

TLTSDTWMTTGTF---Glad ya like it.

Zannthebored---One of the best things about Sinners is that it's a living work...constantly being changed both in current chapters and future plotlines. The story will actually be quite a bit more boring once it's finished...thankfully, that won't be for a while, heh.

Enjoi-Kurbay---I won't say that Gardie will be a Poke-racist, but...well, when your mommy gets eaten, it's hard to get over, lol.

CrazyIvan---23 is of INSANELY ABOVE AVERAGE LENGTH, lol.

Also, stab+1

Hallation---The Pokeball-and-stab technique is something that randomly came to me with 22, and I like it. A Pokemon may or may not be in mental stasis when balled (depends on the settings of the ball), but either way, the process will disorient them.

jpspike---I'm glad you like it. It was tempting to spill all of the secrets about the Kingdom in 22, but...it'll make it better later on, when all the remaining holes get filled up nice and clean. Cliffhanger is resolved in 23, finally, lol. Considering the huge length of 23, I almost split it into ANOTHER two chapters, but that would have been nuts. Desert was supposed to be one chapter, not four, lol. Three is bad enough.

If you want to draw something, go for it, heh. I've gotten a couple pieces of fanart from people, and it's awesome to see that there are actually readers who like the story enough to devote time to it like that. :-D

Imasuky Lomae--- :-(

General Review---Sinners soundtrack needs to be compiled after the story's done. For example, Chapter 16---I Wanna Have Your Babies, Natasha Bedingfield. XD

Max---Literary skilled only, lol.

Cerebrate Fate---I used to be anti-yaoi, think Pokemon sex was fucked up, and consider furries to be fucking retarded. Over only a couple years, I'm a slash reader (even an occasional writer), write one of the longest Pokemon romance stories ever made (wonder how many longer ones there are?), and occasionally cyber with a certain furry.

...lol, a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell.

chaoslord---fdgsgsg

Cerebrate Fate---sdgdfgsdgs

Imasuky Lomae---45dgderegsgreendfgsdfgs

Enjoi-Kurbay---Damn, a thousand hits between two chapters? Fuck, lol, pretty cool.

Vyers---Um...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, I'M LATE BY TWO (plus one)

Cerebrate Fate---The lost chapter involves Grover Cleveland and Christopher Columbus having a romance that spans time. Think I'm kidding? lol, I scoff at thee.

General Review---The first arc is so long that it occasionally fails to load on my browser. :-(

Okay, time for chapter 23. Lalalalalalala yep
Report Review
From ANON - General Review on August 02, 2008
3 days of reading reviews and i'm still not done...damn. Several of these comments made it into my "funniest internet quotes" word document though. This is still a great story.
Report Review
From ANON - Enjoi-Kurbay on August 01, 2008
Slaaaash

I'd like to congradulate you on 10000 hits, but I won't until you give us the late chapter! Meany! :P

*hums impatiently*
Report Review
From Bishonen on August 01, 2008
My Flounder Smack will be much worse than Mjolnir to the nuts because it�s a magical Flounder that I took from Poseidon God of the Sea and the stink of it will NEVER wash off for the rest of his life Slash will smell like a dead fish and cats will maul him every time he sets foot outside

With Eternal Love, Imasuky Lomae
Report Review