Adult-FanFiction.org : Anime

Reviews for Sinners: Arc 2

By : Stormborn Apostle

From Stormborn Apostle on July 18, 2008
Time for a shitload of review responses! Might have to keep some of them short, though...

Splenge---"Tee hee" on Silver. "No comment" on Regirock, although I don't think I NEED to comment, as it's pretty obvious. The question is, what the fuck is going on with it? As for TM's, I ain't sure yet, as both TM uses have been "off-camera", but it involves putting the disk in a Pokenav and somehow transmitting the ability to the Pokemon. Maybe I'll work in a scene where it's actually done, so I can make some Sinners-canon. Gardie will be using Thunderbolt, but obviously not when her purdy lil self is unconscious, lol.

RoboRed---Lance is indeed awesome, although there are no current plans for him to show up in Sinners. Gardie obviously won't die...soon, anyway...but yes, if she did, Slash would likely either kill himself or fucking lose it. Hm, I wonder how y'all would react if I told you that at least one major character WILL die, and not at the end of the story, either. :-O

Imasuky Lomae---Meh, I don't care too much. Gardie evolved underlevel (although there IS a reason for that) and Pokemon in Sinners can learn "believable" moves---such as Rotom's Shadow Claw and Gardie's Psywave. Incidentally, I love Bulbapedia. I still use Serebii for most of my moveset data, but Bulbapedia's swell for gigantic base stat comparisons and the like. Plus I learned how to clone Pokemon in Emerald on it. :-D

HsdaMKII---The reincarnation idea will be heavily expanded upon (although not fully detailed) in the next chapter. WHICH MAY BE SOON, OH HO HO. As for the voice, read above. Regigigas though, hm, he IS pretty cool. I WONDER IF HE IS IN SINNERS, TEE HEE, MAYBE CHAPTER 22 WILL SHED A LITTLE LIGHT ON THAT. :-D

SAME WITH JIRACHI, MAYBE HE'LL BE TALKED ABOUT SOON TOO :-D

And yes, I do use fourth gen Pokemon, but rarely, as I don't own D/P.

Dante Inferna---Glad you like it. Slash loses his temper a bit in chapter 23, and again a few chapters later. The first instance isn't that bad, but the second...well, wait and see.

Ek---Long ass review + hurry = brief replies, so here we go:

1. Wait until Giovanni becomes a real character in the story. I don't mean guy-on-sidelines, but when he gets actively involved later. He's very...well, bad-ass.

2. With all the time alignments, it'll be mostly case-by-case. Generally, sheer power will play more of a role in Sinners (Corphish getting his ass whipped by Camerupt despite the enormous advantage, Graveler being able to hold his own against Cacturne despite his huge weakness)...Pokemon will be as powerful or weak as the plot needs them to be, and I'll do my best not to stretch credibility.

3. Yes, some of them motherfuckers are magic. Like with the types, it'll depend on the move. I don't have a giant list of moves and how they're done...I just come up with rules for the moves that actually take place. One thing I'm thinking of changing is the chapter with Team Aqua, where one of them has a Carvanha and it's "floating" in the air. I only wrote that because I had been playing waaaay too much Mystery Dungeon, lols. Maybe I'll make it some other nasty Pokemon, or have the tanks partially flood the lobby or something...bah

CHAPTER 21 STUFF

I was actually quite happy with how 21 turned out, especially since I finally got to have Slash talking about some of his views and doubts on trainership (although, like the Jirachism intro, it may have come across as a little preachy and may be edited a little later). Flannery was one of my favorite additions, since I hadn't planned to make her a Pokephile until I actual began writing. Her relationship with Blaziken will become more detailed in later chapters, where she and Slash meet up (and perhaps exchange notes on the whole mated-with-Pokemon-thing).

Poison---I purposely made it very, very dangerous, especially for a physically fragile Pokemon like Gardevoir. I had to balance the games with common sense and my previous use of Pokeballs, and came up with this---standard Pokeballs suspend consciousness (although this can be overridden, ie, in Gym Battles), but not the body; Pokemon age in their Pokeballs, and any injuries can get worse (although, since the Pokemon is held stationary, bone damage and superficial injuries tend not to get any worse...mostly this would apply to blood-based disorders, like poison). Some Pokeballs can slightly slow the effects, particularly more advanced versions, but not negate them (and Slash doesn't have those balls anyway). Kind of a cop-out? Yeah, but necessary for one reason---if Slash can just Pokeball a severely injured Pokemon, how the fuck am I supposed to build tension? I mean, think about how lame it would be if Slash just went "oh, Gardie, you've been poisoned. Guess you'll be in the ball until we get to Fallarbor".

That's also the reason I didn't give Slash a flying Pokemon, so he would have to haul his sorry ass around and not be able to run away as easily. XD

PLOT---Small entrance, hungry Cacturne (as is expanded upon in the next couple chapters). They weren't slapping each other's noses and pulling a Three Stooges on them...and for the record, medicines are stored in wooden boxes. I was thinking sort of humidor-like containers, hence me mentioning the box breaking and not just the glass shattering. Likewise, it was a Cacturne whacking it, not a vial being dropped---these Pokemon are capable of matching Graveler in physical combat, so even tough containers are going to break.

As for why only the antidotes broke...there is a reason for that, believe it or not, and it'll be expanded on in 22. Let's just say that the feeling that they had in 21, that there was something wanting them to slip up and make a dumb mistake...it wasn't just their imagination.

I'm still proud of 21, and I like the way 22 came out...er, is coming out (lolspoiler, it's done and I'm submitting it as soon as I finish review responding). I guess I can't please everyone everytime.

Cerebrate Fate---zomg

shad---Glad you like it.

shadow storm657---Honestly? I have narrowed Sinners down to a handful of possible endings, ranging from utterly tragic to happy and everyone-lives-y. The one I'm currently leaning towards is a mixed ending. It's very unlikely that everyone will survive to the end...including Slash's Pack, I'm sorry to say. Life just doesn't turn out that good often.

And heh, glad that you think so.

chaoslord---Ya know, since I'm doing what I'm doing with 22, I'll go ahead and say it now: yes, it's Silver. Keep in mind, though, that Sinners takes place about twenty years after Mewtwo's creation, which means Silver is an adult now. He won't get a real appearance until 23, but I'm looking forward to it.

lol, Slash and Flannery's packs won't get into orgies (outside of oneshots, anyway), but there might be some naughtiness. More along the lines of watching each other go at it, though, not swapping.

And fuck yes on comics, especially the sex. :-D

Imasuky Lomae---Ash is in prison. lulz

RoboRed---They replaced Misty because they fail at writing romantic tension. What assholes.

Cerebrate Fate, RoboRed---I am so fucking terrible, lol. I've had some people make me Sinners art (such as my profile avatar, squee), and that alone is fucking awesome. Now, if someone made me something of Gardie getting nailed in the ass...oh ho ho. Aerisdies doesn't cut it sometimes, because not every Gardevoir looks like Psymakio. Bleh.

Iota---I wish my disclaimer could be "I have annexed the rights to the Pokemon franchise, on the grounds that they have no fucking clue what they're doing with the anime, and have seized all rights to this story. Money plz".

Read your stuff, love it. Good to have more high-quality fics around here. Can't never have enough well-written fanfiction on AFF...hell, that's why I started writing.

Josh---Glad you like it. Flannery and Slash are going to end up working together to...well, resist the force causing trouble in Fallarbor. NOT SAYING WHAT THAT IS THOUGH, TEE HEE

SaigoKarasu---They're a shitload better than anything I could do, lol. First one is pretty hot, actually...XD

Cerebrate Fate---You mean chapter 17, right? lol, multi-arc. Yeah, I wanted to put the anal scene in 16, but there was so much sex there that it would have been crowded. XD

Noteven---Compared to the lengths of some of the earlier chapters, these 20000+ monsters are fucking crazy...I shouldn't make them, I know, I should make shorter, more frequent updates...but I just like writing huge-ass chapters that take a while to read.

Glad that you like what I've written so far, and believe me when I say that your look at the world of Sinners has only just begun. Compared to the main storyline of Sinners, we're still in the fucking prologue. XD

Iota---Hm, I always thought that Gardevoir was a play on Garde, to watch out for, and voir, to see...something like "to protect what she sees". Huh.

sbn732---Speaking of Romeo and Juliet, Slash and Psymakio are going to meet Slash's parents in a later chapter (like, post-Fallarbor, which is at least half a dozen chapters). I hope they don't get found out...

Glad that you like it, and yeah, tell your friends. Can't never have enough fans, heh.

Pokeprof---I know, I need to update more. And yes, I could have gotten into some Blaziken/Flannery hawtness, but...maybe later, heh. It would have broken up the flow of 21 if I had. Problem I haven't solved yet---how do they kiss? Blaziken sort of has a beak. Oh well, I'm sure they'll manage. :-D

Glad that you enjoy it, and I'll keep on pumping out Pokemon fics until...well, for a long fucking time, heh.

Espy---Glad you like it. :-D

MOAR---OKAY

RoboRed---YES

Max---Bet you've read it three times because I'm such a slow-updating fuck, lol. New chapter imminent, but LOL, the cliffhanger is...well...you'll see.

I'm a bad man.

Dargvaughn The Dark God Of Tentacle Rape--- 'kay.

Lejos de casa---Glad you like it, and I love reviews (even if I'm not as punctual with responding as I used to be, lol). More work incoming!

Vaez_the_wandering_assassin---Arcanine will eventually be Slash and Psymakio's means of transport. While flying Pokemon would make travel TOO easy, a runner like Arcanine will make it faster, but...still good for plot. Plus it's such a noble Pokemon, very good for them.

RoboRed---Yes, and Thor hurts.

Adam Bowman---I am very glad that you think so highly of it. I know that it's easy to shrug off this and other serious fanfics..."it's just a fanfiction", "it's just Pokemon, how serious can it be", etc...but yes, this story means a lot to me. While I am borrowing the world of another, the characters and plot are born from my heart, and I am very proud of this work. The fact that it's about Pokemon does not negate the seriousness of the conflict and morals of the story.

And lol, originally, it was mostly "Gardevoir's hot". But things have changed since then (although Gardie's hotness ain't one of them, heh).

Kitsune_Writer---Glad that you like it, and I'm honored to inspire more people to pick up their pens...keyboards, whatever...and write. Hooray for inspiration! :-D

ANGRY READER---lol

RoboRed---Referring to my profile (and now my livejournal and NG, which also mention it), heh. AND YEAH I KNOW

Vyers---You'll be thinking about it even more, since I cut the desert chapter in half and the pregnancy is in the second half. XD SORRY LOL

Anon---SLASH hung on with FOCUS BAND! Slash used COUNTER WITH NEW CHAPTER!

Imasuky Lomae---Heh.

Cerebrate Fate---Reason number 2353452345 that I should have the right to annex the copyright for Pokemon: Gardevoir can get it on with Weezing. WHAT THE FUCK MAN

Anon---If there was a hybrid in Sinners, it would follow the rules of basic Pokemon breeding---species of the mother, traits of the father. The application of father traits would be case-by-case.

And lol, yes, I ARTISTIC LICENSE the first point. Gardie, and many Pokemon, are livebearers. I can't imagine Gardie laying eggs, ya know?

LOL, actually, twisted fact: as a joke, I was planning to make a oneshot mentioning her laying a couple eggs a day, like a chicken, and the pack cooks them up for breakfast. XD XD XD

Of course, that never developed. :-P

Okay, time for chapter 22! Deploying...
Report Review
From ANON - Anon on July 18, 2008
I highly doubt Psymakio is pregnant.
For one; all pokemon lay eggs, no matter how inappropriate it is.
For two; it'd have to be with Slash, and no matter how connected their minds and hearts are, their bodies are insurmountably different.
For three; it would get a bit absurd in the story to have a little Ralts jump in so late.
Points one and two can be obliterated with the AUTHOR'S WRIT OF POWER artifact that Slash is equipped with.

Flannery's busy with her Blaziken, so it's probably not her... Angel's a mental figure, but she could get 'pregnant' in Slash's mind, I guess. No other female figures come to mind.
Report Review
From Bishonen on July 15, 2008
I don't think Slash will have a firstborn after that Oh well guess after he's gone the genes that allowed for such a good story will be gone and as a note if Slash doesn�t update soon I'm going to unleash my mega super ultra hyper werewolf who now has a new head sticking out of his belly that does a horrible impression of Dane Cook

With Eternal Love, Imasuky Lomae
Report Review
From ANON - Anon on July 15, 2008
I choose you, Thor!
*Throws pokeball*
*Big buff bearded blonde pops out*
EQUIP>HAMMERS>Mjolnir
Crush attack, go!
TARGET: Slash's testicles
CRITICAL HIT! It's Super Effective!
Report Review
From RoboRed on July 14, 2008
Wait, what? Spoiler? Pregant? Hot sauce? Hornet's nest? Rash? I didn't get any spoiler or teaser in my e-mail...WHAT'S GOING ON?!?!? *sadface*

On another note:
http://slashfirestorm.newgrounds.com/news/post/146237

*British accent* You disappoint me, good sir. It hath been past the next week.*more sadface*
Report Review
From ANON - ANGRY READER on July 14, 2008
DAMN YOU SLASH FIRESTORM THAT SPOILER IS JUST PLAIN UNFAIR WHO�S PREGNET UPDATE SOON OR I�LL HUNT YOU DONE AND ��I DON�T KNOW WHAT I�LL DDO BUT IT WONT BE PLASENT OR LEGAL ALL I KNOW IS THAT IT WILL INVOLE A BOTTLE OF HOT SAUCE AND A HORNETS NEST AND AGAIN DAMN YOU MAY A MONK WITH A RASH FONDLE YOUR FIRST BORN
Report Review
From joseph33759 on July 10, 2008
hello I just want to say I owe you a debt of thanks, you gave me the idea for my story on fanfiction.net Pokemon Shinobi, and also I want to say great chapter
Report Review
From ANON - Adam Bowman on July 09, 2008
I have absolutely no idea who'll get to read this, but here goes.
Dear Mr. Firestorm,
I don't feel much. For a long time, I didn't see the point to anything. But every once in a while, I will see or hear or read something that gives me such a deep sense of awe or appreciation or even sorrow that I am shocked back to reality. Its kind of hard to explain. Anyway, only a few things have ever awed me enough to make life worth living. One of them was your story. I don't know if you like writing love stories or wanted an elaborate set up to a lemon or even just thought your gardevoir was hot. I don't really care. The point is that I loved your story whatever the motivations and I owe you a lot. Expect an email from me soon. I have big news. (TempoBowman@gmail.com)
Report Review
From RoboRed on July 09, 2008
http://slashfirestorm.newgrounds.com/news/post/146237

*sitting in a shadowy corner with a big hammer*

Vaez - Actually, Growlithe has evolved in one of Slash's oneshot stories.
Report Review
From Vaez on July 07, 2008
God I love this story ... MOAR please
i was also wondering if Growlithe and Graveler will ever evolve arcanine would be the best pokemon for the current situation i think... still good job
Report Review
From Mono on July 07, 2008
Great story slash! I've been reading it since the beginning, but oddly I never have reviewed before. Still, great story (murderous cliffhanger!) keep the good work comin!
Report Review
From ANON - Dargvaughn The Dark God Of Tentacle Rape on July 07, 2008
You must update soon lest you incur the horrible tentacles of wrath and herpes that I Dargvaughn The Dark God Of Tentacle Rape also use as my hundred million penises.
Report Review
From ANON - Max on July 06, 2008
Absolutely amazing work, here. I've read your story til this point three times simply because it was that good. Compelling plot, inspiring and realistic (you know what I mean) characters, and great actions sequences (you may knock yourself for them, but really they're good) make for a great read.

Now please for gods sakes moar. That cliffhanger ending is killing me.
Report Review
From RoboRed on July 01, 2008
I can has update now plz? :(
Report Review
From ANON - MOAR on June 27, 2008
MOAR
Report Review