Adult-FanFiction.org : Anime

Reviews for Afterglow

By : Stormborn Apostle

From Stormborn Apostle on April 21, 2009
JasminKaiba---Thanks very much. I'm glad to have written something for you to enjoy, and I appreciate the praise, especially coming from a fellow author. I won't stop writing anytime soon, even if my updates are a little...well, extremely unpredictable, lol.

Psyence---Presumably they teleport from rooftop to rooftop, probably getting it on on top of each one, before teleporting into Watson's house and feeling very awkward when he catches them dressing.
Report Review
From ANON - JasminKaiba on September 02, 2008
This is an amazing story, just like Sinners. I've come across Sinners a few months prior, searching for a fic from few years back, and read a few chapter, you know hopping from one to five and back, lacking the time to fully read it. I have wanted to return and read it and leave a few reviews, but as God wanted I had been at the peak of my own inspiration, and having had married just a few weeks before that, you understand that it can slip one's mind. And I forgot about the story, never been one for Pokemon fanfiction. Then I had an car accident a month ago and ended up with both legs injured in a wheel-chair. My husband works day and night and we just got twins, sombody got to tkae care of them and me, unfortunately, too. So my twin sister came and brought Pokemon dvds, 'for the kids' she says, yeah right. And well that episode with Max and the Ralts reminded me of something. Now am an organizational freak and write everything down, anything could be valuable information. And really in one of my notebooks I found a little stick-on with the title Sinners, read and the address. And now I'm well in the middle of Sinners,taking a pause to read the related one-shots and I'm amazed how a male can write such a romantic story. Now I've been writing fanfiction for over two years and my FF.net account has over sixty stories posted, but not even I have achieved such a high romantic level, and my genre is romance, every single of stories is romance. Well all I wanted to say is I bow my head before you, Sinners is amazing and captivating, you're an fantastic author. I wish you the best of luck with the new Sinners arc and I'm off to read some more.
Your faithful fan,
Jasmin Kaiba
Report Review
From Stormborn Apostle on March 30, 2008
Splenge---I can respond with one word: MAGIC! :-D

Vyers---Glad you like it, heh.

Anonymoose---Gardevoir is indeed awesome.

And do not underestimate the power of magic fish. EVER. They'll cut you, man.

I love fluff, and I love writing love. While Sinners is slowly becoming a darker piece as time goes on, I'm free to make things as cutesy and silly as I want in oneshots, heh. Plus some unrealistic pairings may appear in the future (Slash/Gardie/Flannery, anyone?). And yeah, Gardie likes that. It's my experience that a lot of girls do, even if they don't know it yet, heh.

Chapter 21 will probably be out in April. Probably. I'm not declaring a deadline yet, though.

Zerockas---Sometimes it's just easier to ignore plot problems (like bathing suits) in the face of hotness, heh.

Dante Inferna---Even more than the main Sinners story? :-)
Report Review
From DanteInferna on March 20, 2008
My favorite out of all of the Sinners stories.
Looking forward to more.
Report Review
From ANON - Anon on March 13, 2008
Excellent as usual, I especially enjoyed the Q&A section at the end, an amusing touch.

-Zerockas
Report Review
From ANON - Anonymoose (Part 2) (EDIT) on March 08, 2008
Oh yes, and RoboRed is right -- Underwater sex for the motherfreakin' win.

EDIT: Yeah, I forgot to add a word in there... Could you delete the old version, please?
Report Review
From ANON - Anonymoose on March 08, 2008
Another nice one. Even though you'd have to read Sinners to know the characters and understand the situation, it was still a good one-shot lemon to read. There aren't many I've read or liked in the Pokemon section of this site, though Imasuky Lomae's "Garderotica" was nice to read. Is it a coincidence it also contained a Gardevoir?

I've only skimmed the other reviews, so the rest of my review may be repeating what others said. But, Gardevoir's swimsuit outfit? Way too risky. I would think humans would wonder why a Pokemon is wearing such a thing. Not exactly ones for stealth, are they?

The rest of the fic was nice, although I think I'm going to turn into a mouse at the cheese. Especially with the whole magic and pink glowy stuff -- made me think of something from a magical girl anime (nothing specific). But hey, if it allows those two to make-o-- er, I mean, to display their love for each other without getting caught, then good for them. :P

Yay, you brought in Slash's fingering her "back there" from the end of Sinners Arc 1! That was kinda hot to read. I'd still like to see how they'd role-reverse (something I thought about in an earlier review in Arc 1), though, in a future chapter or one-shot.

So, any idea when the adventures of A Boy And His Pokegirlfriend continues?
Report Review
From ANON - Splenge on February 24, 2008
I believe RoboRed's point with the one-piece swimsuit was that it would be less suspicious/draw less attention.
Maybe it's just me, but I feel that some people would look a little too long at why what's supposed to be "just this guy's Pokemon" is wearing something so revealing (even if the women around are wearing even more revealing stuff.)

It's almost like taking your sister to shop for a Bikini, then hanging around her all day. And there's a big sign on her/you somewhere that says "THIS IS MY SISTER." People would get weird ideas (or, in their case, the right idea - which would be bad.)

...That, and one-piece suits can still be hot, when worn by the right people (Or Pokemon) in the right style.

All that aside, well done as usual.
Report Review
From Stormborn Apostle on February 18, 2008
Sinners Fan---Glad you enjoyed, heh. I'm working on the next chapter of Sinners right now.
Report Review
From ANON - Sinners Fan on February 18, 2008
Love it! Beautifully well written. Looking foward to the next chapter of Sinners.
Report Review
From Stormborn Apostle on February 17, 2008
RoboRed---Ironically, considering this story, I don't like Valentine's very much. Too much commercial stuff. I was honestly considering highlighting this by having Slash buy Psymakio some flowers...and having her eat them, not understanding why humans give dead plants to each other, lol...

Maybe next time.

One of the reasons I stuck so much half-canon, half-hint stuff into this oneshot is to make up for how chapter 20 was SUPPOSED to be out at the beginning of February. Some of the events---Slash's "relay" communication with Pokemon, for example---weren't just one-off plot points, and will be coming up in Sinners rather soon.

Alternate grapefruit comment that I could have worked in: I don't like it when they squirt in your eye, though.

I decided to go with a confused what is a grapefruits, though, lol. Just cuter.

While Gardevoir is rather human-like, I don't know if a one-piece could hide the pure-white skin and green hair, lol.

Telekinetic sex is awesome. I can see further applications of it in true Sinners canon, heh. The rooftop scene followed me thinking to myself, "is Gardevoir really to wait patiently for this?" lolno

The original draft for this story included couples racing 'their' Luvdisc pairs---when I actually started writing it, though, it occurred to me that...well...that was fucking stupid, lol. Hence why it was cut out and replaced by a more serious conversation with some lesbian fish. :3

Water sex is always win; much easier...handling, lol. The pair may find the little cove in the real Sinners sometime, kukuku.

The Q+A is for plot points that I COULD answer in the story, but it would look awkward/not that good. The other Pokemon, for example---better to have them just sort of wander off than "let's bring them over here and do this with them" and distracting everyone from the storyline, lol.

Next time, Slash's team might go to SPARTAAAAAAAAA. They'll dine in hell.

*sigh* story archive. It's weird how I link to any site I want in the Myspace blog...but not anywhere else on the site. Their fail-filters don't even provide full coverage, lol. Wow.
Report Review
From RoboRed on February 16, 2008
P.S. Now you need to update your story archive on your myspace. :P
Report Review
From RoboRed on February 16, 2008
Late again? :P Bah, better late than never, I guess. Look at it this way, though: pink is still friggin everywhere at least 1-3 days after Valentines's Day is over, and there's plenty of leftover chocolate. :P Besides, it's better that you didn't sacrifice quality for punctuality. (as long as it's not 'too' late *glare*)

I read the e-mail you sent out when you posted this, and I agree, you did tie in dangerously close canonically (is that a word?). But of the most part, the oneshot retained it's own little storyline. I found it interesting that you made so many references to the teasers, though. And the thing with one of the luvdiscs talking to Slash, with part of it being heard as [....] like in the situation with the voice and the Interloper really stuck out at me. (still have no clue who that is, btw. :P)

And now, for points in the story:
Grapefruit comment - giggidy, lawl

Dressing room scene - giggidy again. Plus, I found the whole concept rather hilarious. At least the clerk couldn't see them. On another note, if I was in Slash's position, I'd probably play it safer and get a one-piece swimsuit for Gardevoir. If I was anyone else, I think I'd notice a Gardevoir in a swimsuit. But then again, this is an imaginary world, and Poke'mon don't exist in real life and....I forgot where I was going with this (damn you ADHD...), but I hope you get the idea. :P And the scene was still hot.

Rooftop scene - That was completely unexpected, teleporting onto the roof. lol. If I was in Slash's postition, I probably would've gone further, but it would depend on how high the building was. If it was a tall shopping center like in Celadon City or Goldenrod City, and it was just a simple roof with no vending machines or shit like that, I would've done it. Hawt though.

Beach - YAAAY BEACH. :D
I liked the touching message throughout the whole thing. If only love were that easy...I alwasy like the parts where you touch base on the aura thingie. Kinda hits close to home cause I have pretty much the same attitude as Slash, though I think I'd desire vengeance to a 'slightly' lesser extent. (aura = dawn/evening, I suppose) ANYWAYS...

Final sex scene - Excellently done, as usual. :) Water sex = win. Visualization was great, too. Nothing like making love in a romantic seaside cove.

And for the Q&A thing at the end (will this be in all the oneshots? I hope so).
1. rofl
2. Oh, it's Costa Rica now? lol
3. AHA! But maybe they secretly teleported the clothes with them and you so kindly forgot to mention it just to you could fuck around with the minds of the Q&A people!

Great job again, dude. This blows the Halloween story out of the water. (literally and figuratively. :P)

Report Review
From Stormborn Apostle on February 16, 2008
Black Whole---Heh, while this story is not canon in terms of the true Sinners storyline, many of the little hints do apply to it. I don't know why, but this oneshot just wanted to be a lot more...hinty...than How Many Licks Does It Take (which had absolutely no hints at all).

That's probably why it took so long...it's sort of chapter 20's parallel-dimension-self.

Imasuky Lomae---Gardevoir's injuries in this oneshot are the same as in the upcoming chapter 20: not significant. So you don't gotta worry about that, heh.

Interesting note: the telekinetic encounter was not planned when I started writing. It just sort of happened, lol.

Another interesting note: the oral on the roof was even more spontaneous---it wasn't thought up and written until my second proofreading of the chapter, heh. Originally there was just going to be water sex, but...well, one thing led to another. :-D

I forgot to mention the nosebleed comment, lol---making fun of the old anime standby of horny characters getting nosebleeds. I found myself writing that Slash almost passed out from one when Gardie almost popped out of her top, and I thought to myself, "wouldn't it be funny if it was from getting hit in the fucking face instead of horny?". So I did it. Heh. I regret nothing.

I liked the theme of this story...I believe that there's plenty of magic in the world, but most of it is ignored or unseen. One has to be open to see it...separating themselves from the busy bustle of daily life, relaxing and tuning themselves in with the background world...and every so often, you get a glimpse at something wonderful.

Anyway, I am currently enraged over Myspace's refusal to allow linking to AdultFanFiction.net---apparently their failures...er, filters...regard this site as spam. They proclaim to support the rights of artists...but only those artists who subscribe to their website. If this ticks you off too, send them an angry letter (or ten) and demand they fix their error and allow linking here. I'm sick of this relaying-through-outside-sites crap; I want to promote my artwork without having to site-bounce.
Report Review

From Bishonen on February 16, 2008
The opening was nice it just seemed to burst with lovely sweetness and cuteness I�m really glad that Gardevoir wasn�t hurt to badly. I really wonder just what the pink was whatever it doesn�t matter it seems like the kind of thing the world really needs especially in this day and age. Gardevoir in a bikini is just to cute to think about and the way she was embarrassed about showing it off was just beyond kawii.

Oh dear Goddess the stuff in the changing room just ahh.. Too hot for description it seemed almost like something out of a hentai but you made it classy and romantic.

About some off the stuff said in the dressing room I highly doubt I would have been able to hold back like Slash did and can we look forward to some role reversal in a future one shot. Another thing Slash needs to learn to control is his urge to tease her as cut and funny as it is it might get him in trouble.

Again you are the best writer on the site I say that because you made giving head seem as romantic as and erotic as making love and while orals always good both giving and receiving you make it seem I don�t know�Nope nothing other than loving and beautiful.
It seems that the Luvdic really do have some kind of power that humans don�t get and that Slash and Psymakio are more important than either of them realizes.

The one thing I didn�t like was the line about the volleyball to the face I�ve been hit by so many of those damn things that just hearing the name of the game makes my face hurt and unlike Slash I don�t have a loving partner to make me feel better. Oh and just a small note on grammar a pokemon�s name is for an individual or the whole species.

Okay now to end this review I LOVED THIS it was so good I just makes me want the next chapter all that much more and just one thing this made me think of something that I consider a personal belief Magic is real but it�s not what most people think when they hear that word rather it�s the union of the body and the soul it is an eternal connection that all share and depending on how it�s used can bring about a true perfect world or utter oblivion and I fear that the world is leaning more toward the latter than the former but like you said in this story there is hope it�s just must people find the darkness easier to use so that they can hide their own faults.

Lastly a great CD to listen to with any of the romantic parts of Sinners is anything by Corinne Bailey Rae she�s got a lovely voice and sweat lyrics that fit the mood pretty well.

With Eternal Love, Imasuky Lomae
Report Review