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Reviews for Union League: Journey to the Beginning

By : MurdocKeizer
  • From ANON - Draco Falconi on October 08, 2011
    OH MY GOD. I absolutely forgot to post this here for anyone who was following Union League, and I am horribly ashamed of myself.

    Unfortunately, there will be no more chapters available for Union League. The author (and my best friend) Dark Angel Murdoc passed away of natural causes in November 2010. He will be sorely missed.
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  • From puffball64 on June 17, 2009
    Very interesting story. I managed to read up to chapter 3 in one go.
    I always love tangents to other story lines.

    However, make sure to proof read your story carefully. There were several typos and grammatical errors scattered about the text.

    Great to see another good story on AFF. Sinners, Equilibrium, and Ragnarok were getting kinda lonely.
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  • From MrMcBob on June 01, 2008
    CH.2 review
    A bit of a slow start, eh? Anyway, re-check your tenses. Make sure everything flows. Mixing tenses is ok sometimes, but it must be written with care.
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  • From MrMcBob on June 01, 2008
    CH.1 review
    An intriguing idea. Do you already have the answer behind the transformation, or have you not thought of one yet? It's ok- many writers don't script their whole story ahead of time.
    Anyway, like I said, an intriguing idea. I have certainly thought of the issue about why humans can't fight pokemon when watching some of the episodes, such as the one when Bruno is introduced. But you'll have several hurdles to jump if you plan to make this idea work. Several questions:
    -How will the concept of pokeballs work? If the trainers are trying to establish a rapport with their partners, wouldn't keeping them in a little ball be a step backwards?
    -How does the whole "human using pokemon attacks" thing work? You'll have to get into it at some point. I understand why humans can use fighting attacks, and psychic, normal, and probably a few others would certainly be possible, but what what about elemental attacks? For instance, how would a human use an attack like Flamethrower, or Solarbeam, or even Thundershock?
    -Finally, an add-on to the previous question, but will the attacks trainers use be linked to their pokemons' attacks? For instance, if a trainer only has an Oddish that knows attacks like Stun Spore, Absorb, and Sleep Powder, would the trainer be limited to those attacks? How would the previous question apply to that?
    Anyway, keep it up. I'll be reading.
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  • From ANON - Union League Reviewer on May 14, 2008
    This is very good so far. Nice work. I hope you update soon.
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  • From ANON - Shika T on May 14, 2008
    Hey, great intro. Really interesting read... I'll be watching this one. Keep up the good work.
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  • From RoboRed on May 13, 2008
    Not bad....not bad at all. I look forward to the next chapter. :)
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  • From Bishonen on May 12, 2008
    This looks like it could be a good story I'll need to read more chapters to make up my mind but I like hte first chapter and If the first chapter is good the rest of the story is almost always the same I'll say more after the next chapter is posted.

    With Eternal Love, Imasuky Lomae

    P.S. I love Sinners as well can't wait for Psymakio and Slash to show up
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