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Reviews for Rapture

By : Revu

From ANON - Smitty on April 25, 2011
I have no words. Why you are not a professional writer with dozens of best sellers is lost to me. I came across this while in class and haven't stopped reading since, almost five hours ago. I am completely enthralled with your characters and their personal and emotional development. I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed reading this and how anxiously I am waiting for the next chapter.
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From kitsunehodori on January 09, 2010
Hey, how's it going?

The story is pretty epic, especially the last five chapters... I can see some parallels to a lot of things. I do hope this story does get completed at some point.

Not sure about the age difference, but it was still a fun and exciting read and I am glad to have read this story. Did you know they released new pokemon editions? There's a lot of things that you may find interesting I could show you ^_^ Of course, more description of pokemon including mindset/thoughts are still needed.

Anyways, hope to hear from you soon,
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From ANON - omnibee on March 11, 2009
Hey Revu ^_^ Hopefully you know who this is lol. I know it's late... wanted to take a break from studying...

I figure I should write/comment on your story since I have gone through most of it (Just finished Chapter 15) and WOW! I compliment you on your chapter length. I always imagine them to be just like the Pokemon animated series... I really think most of them are also adaptable to a 30min animated script if necessary. I say this because a lot of authors I have read either have extremely LONG chapters or VERY short chapters. I find it a lot easier to go through your story because it is a good length per chapter.

I also will give some recommendations in the form of constructive criticism... (don't take offense to this, I really like the story). I would like to see more description of the pokemon. In certain cases such as chapter 15 you do describe it very well as with Pikachu, but sometimes during the battles it seems the focus is not really on the majestic creatures that duel for loyalty to their trainers. Also, describing the scene would also add to the imagery, but I understand sometimes the focus isn't on the environment. More thought passages on the part of characters (including the yaoi scenes) can also help with expressions... even simple can assist. Anyways, these are just minor thoughts on my part and only meant to help. If you disagree, by all means it is ok. It's your story and I still like it lol.

Probably the best part I like is all the plot twists and how much you have built up the characters and arcs. It really feels like Battlestar Galactica (haha) in terms of all the twists. Hopefully, you'll see BSG one day... Overall, I love how you've taken Pokemon in such a different direction!

I'll continue reading on and hope the story doesn't get forgotten... I know you're sick and all this week, hence no update...

Sending good thoughts your way. Get well soon!
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From Revu on December 17, 2008
Thanks for another review Sealinkchan!

Wow I don't know what I was thinking when I wrote that line... Thanks a bunch for pointing it out and you're right it was supposed to be "mouth" and I got that fixed.

Red is peeving off quite a number of people, but if things go according to plan that will be continuing for some time to come. I hope the story continues to meet your expectations!

Oh and I ask that anyone please not hesitate to let me know if they find errors in my writing that way I can get it fixed for any future readers that go through the story. It's always very much appreciated!

I'm planning on posting the next parts to the story within a week or so. Had to take some time to get a few critical plot elements figured out.

Also, to everyone following the story: I'm seriously feeling the story is deviating enough from the traditional yaoi story types to warrant moving the story into the general category. I suppose I'm feeling that way because there are really no other in depth stories in the yaoi section here. Of course this story has strong yaoi and shota overtones which I also feel binds it to the section its in. In short I'm hoping any readers with experience in the story cataloging of AFF might be able to leave any comments or advice on what to consider more for the most appropriate section.

Thank you very much and hope to hear from you again!
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From ANON - Sealinkchan on December 16, 2008
It's been a while, huh? I'm afraid I didn't make it very far into the story from where I last left off. There was a confusing line in the chapter "Returned":
Placing both hands on Red�s head, Giovanni pushed his cock in further to the boy�s both. (I'm guessing that was supposed to be 'mouth?')
Other than that, the story is moving along really well. I'm getting mad at Red(understandably) and I'm gnashing at the bit for him to return to the side of good already! I just finished Cascade Badge. Grrr!!!
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From Revu on November 22, 2008
Wow that is probably the longest review I've ever seen! Thanks a lot R'uenkai I really appreciate it! I just wanted to take a moment to respond a bit to your review here.

First off it's usually very important to me to make an all encompassing story. I believe a truly great story needs to have elements of all kinds and make the reader laugh, cry, and really feel emotion to what they're reading. Basically I always use Fushigi Yuugi as a comparative outline since I still consider it one of the greatest stories ever. So that's why there's a lot of focus on what's going on besides just with the main character of the story... but I think Red and Blue make an awesome couple too just so you know.

As far as my memory of the Elite Four arc goes in the manga, Lance summoned some great bird Pokemon he referred to as "Spirit". This Pokemon does not exist in any other form be it the anime or any of the games as far as I've seen... So I decided to throw in Rayquaza because to me it would just make sense to have Lance pursuing one of the strongest dragons in the series.

And oh yes the confrontation between Red and Blue... I wanted that to portray their reunion as an emotional roller coaster. I've been taking a lot of care to give Red exactly that friendly, confident... yet completely unstable personality. My intention was indeed to keep the readers on edge because his character just becomes so unpredictable. One moment he can be concerned and loving and the next moment not hesitate to kill. It's what really makes this story so much fun to write.

In all honesty... I'm really not sure exactly where everyone is going to end up as far as the relationships are going at this point in the story... I know there's a few scenes that I have thought out that I really REALLY want to get into the story, but their timing is going to have a lot to do with the overall consequence and reaction for what I have planned. The story is still very lucid, I always find it funny how my writing style does that to me. I try channeling it a certain way, but inevitably it's the smaller details that end up pushing the story along and giving it a life of its own that ends up feeling beyond my control. But that's why I love writing too.

Right now I'm going to be taking (hopefully) a really short break from writing more chapters because I want to make sure the world is aligning properly with the game and manga world. Basically I've never played Diamond or Pearl and read a few things on Bulbapedia about Team Galactic that derailed a few of my ideas. But in the long run it only adds more fuel to the fire. It's my hope to release a truly epic and twisted vision of the Pokemon world and I just hope those of you following along enjoy it.

Feedback is awesome see, because this is the stuff I enjoy, getting to talk about my ideas and how I see things! I hope you continue to enjoy the story R'uenkai, and please continue to leave any comments you like!
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From ANON - R'uenkai on November 19, 2008
Sorry for not reviewing earlier, been busy with a lot of things. Yes, I agree with you 100% on that! I didn't like how he just disappears from the series after that saga...I thought for sure that they would go back to him after they were done with Yellow's Arc but unfortunately that did not happen. Same here, I prefer Red over Ash, I don't really know why but he catches my interest more then Ash does...maybe because he thinks up of the most interesting strategies while Ash is a bit slower *shrugs* Yeah, there so needs to be more Giovanni and Ash things out there! Wow, I missed quite a lot of chapters since last time XD So to make things up or so I shall try to put in a little say for each chapter from the last time I wrote. ^_^

Chapter 9
From the chapters prior to this one, I was suspecting a bit of Misty/Erika but I find that cool. I like how you made the girls interact with one another, in a comforting relationship (or may it seem more to one of them? Misty may seem to be stuck on Red but for Erika...XD), which I find nice and sweet, after what Misty has been going through )=>. Blue losing his cool also made me very happy, because that shows that he really does care for the missing Pallet trainer and maybe a hopes of something deeper? *curious, sorry I can be a bit of a Blue/Red fan at times so I tend to put things in where they may not be ^^;*

Chapter 10
Yes getting a little into the Elite Four arc! I'm really glad that this story stays near to the Manga as it possible can, all the while keeping on its own plot. I was interested in how the battles shall be with the opponents you chose for the Team Rocket generals (especially Sabrina vs. Agatha considering the type disadvantage for Sabrina), I was also wondering if you were going to have Giovanni against Lance or have Red verse him instead, but I was glad you had Giovanni go against him. Wow, I would have never guessed that Sabrina harbored any feelings for Giovanni. That part really surprised me and after that i felt really bad for Sabrina...)=

Chapter 11+12
Man the battles were awesome in those two Chapters (I was reading on in each battle)! Really like how the Pokemon used are not only from the Kanto region. I was so confident that you were going to have Lugia come out when all of the badges were placed (I think that maybe due to the fact that I always thought that the Pokemon that was summoned in the Manga was Lugia because it was never really clear...unless it was and my memory fails me ^^; ) but wow, I would have never thought it was going to be Rayquaza, that's going to make Red a really hard trainer to defeat if he ever uses it O_o

Chapter 13
Yes, Finally a Red and Blue confrontation! You don't know how much this chapter made me happy, though it saddens me how quickly it had went and the ending! Ahh I just had to re-read and look around if that was it because man that chapter made me want more XD Man I feel really bad for Red...he may seem like he's still has his strong character but really he's still damged...Man this chapter had me on edge!

Wow, the relationships in this story are near enough everywhere! When you thought you got one thing, another thing comes up and throws you off balance. When I first looked at this story I thought it was going to concentrate on the Yaoi main coupling and then maybe slowly transition to a slightly different one (like Giovanni/Red to Blue/Red), but I never that that it was also going to have others in there as well! The hints of Het and Yuri couples are interesting and I can't tell who will really end up with who! Like how this story is going so far and I can't wait to see what Red is going to do, now that he has captured Blue! =D
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From ANON - R'uenkai on November 01, 2008
Wow this story is coming out quite nicely. When I first saw this story i was really surprised and excited by the fact that someone decided to write a story based on the Pokemon Adventures Manga =D That series needs more love I say!

I really like the plot of the story because when the series had introduced Giovanni, I've always wondered what it would be like if Red had joined Team Rocket, even if it may have been for a little while, he would make an awesome force to be reckon with! Like how you portrayed the characters and kept them around their personalities in the series. I also like the Giovanni/Red pairing ^^ There aren't a lot out there and it is refreshing to see one! I wonder if it will stay or shall it slowly transition to another pairing? There seems to be hints of Red/Misty or will there be a twist and focus to something like Blue/Red (Yosh! Happy that Blue is finally going to appear again! ^^ Even though I have to wait till Tuesday...TT^TT *sulks but waits in anticipation*?) Anyway, no matter where it goes I bet the story will be awesome and hope that you'll continue, Keep up the good work! =)
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From Meggiez on October 17, 2008
You've a pretty good story built up and I can't help but wonder if you'll add on to it. I only see a few minor errors (towards the end you used "allowed" instead of "aloud") and it's paced fairly well. How much of the story do you have planned out? (If you are continuing it, I mean)
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