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Reviews for Pokemon Dark Destiny

By : Beth21
  • From Revu on October 16, 2008
    OK an original story in the Pokemon universe, let's take a look!

    WOW talk about extreme sexual overtones... This is AFF.net so that's perfectly acceptable. I think it's a little hard to take a story seriously with so many innuendos being thrown everywhere, but if the cutsey hentai genre is what you're trying to pull off then it works.

    Having author's comments in the middle of a chapter really pulls you out of the allusion while reading the story. I understand you probably did this so people wouldn't write you later trying to correct you for saying Prof. Elm is a she... but there are more descriptive ways to get this same point across in the actual story rather than pulling out of the story with an author's note. Doing something simple like "Professor Elm's daughter, the current Pokemon professor for the region, screamed as the two thieves ran off with two baby Pokemon." something to that effect can explain what's going on in story. This is also a good practice for describing character appearances rather than listing a bio in story for them. Perhaps doing something creative like having Angel make a sarcastic comment about Shadow's shirt to get the reader's mind to acknowledge the scene rather than explicitly stating what it says works well.

    The story itself is a decently easy read and is pretty enjoyable, I like it so far. From the comments left in the latest post I'd imagine you have more chapters already written into the story. I would recommend continuing and trying new things to sharpen your authoring skills. This is a great opportunity for that and I wish you the best of luck.

    Till next time!
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