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Reviews for Whats Eating Meatball Head

By : aherohasfallen
  • From aherohasfallen on February 11, 2012
    Hey Karimoon, leave the flames at home please I wrote this when I was 15 and upgraded its rating to M when I was old enough, it was originally posted as a crack fic on fanfiction . Net. And I eventually figured out how to upload with the proper format by the last chapter. It's not my fault my typing program sucks balls. And what slang did I write? The word "ya" a couple times, and there aren't that many spelling errors. And if there are any run-ons, they are most likely in Serena's dream explanation because I typed how she was talking. I'm 26 now and am chasing around two 21 month old twin boys, so sorry for being a good mom instead of spellchecking my story I posted years ago. Get a life bro. And the only reason you're getting a reply here is because your profile isn't set up so I can't PM you.
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  • From Karimoon on February 07, 2012
    Having no beta or spellchecker is no excuse for the ridiculousness of the sheer amount of errors, that's what this little invention called a dictionary is for and guess what...they've made them electronic and a story is added to this site how...yeah exactly. The idea of the story is fine yes, but in writing presentation is important as well otherwise who would read your stuff? The presentation is less than stellar and i'm not just talking about spelling errors, the running on of the sentences, no division between thoughts and speech, blocks of text, and the over usage of slang makes for a delightful headache. I'd rather read Dr. Seuss, no seriously. If you aren't below grade 7 this honestly isn't acceptable writing, whether you see it as flamming or not, your english teacher's red pen of death would say the same.
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  • From Crimson13 on October 06, 2011
    Oh no was that Prince Diamond O_o I would really love for you to finish this story. I really liked it. I hope that Serena wakes up soon. And that everything goes okay for them. I'm just wondering how Diamond was able to trap her in this dream. Or if it's just a dream and she's imagining the whole thing. Which I highly doubt as she's been asleep so long and no one's woke her up. Great job C: I hope you continue.

    CrimsonWatersAlien.
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  • From Crimson13 on October 06, 2011
    Ah I loved it! What more can be said? I loved how Darien was telling her about those dreams, and this kiss was great too. I can't wait to read your other chapter.

    CrimsonWatersAlien
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  • From Crimson13 on October 06, 2011
    despite a few spelling errors, I must say that I find you to be a good writer. Its a good start. And I can sympathise. I don't have a beta either. Heh heh. I really do like the beggining of this story. I feel sorry for Serena and Darien and hope they can get together. I hope the story is something you've finished or intend to. I'd like to see how it plays out. I'm going to read your other chapters now. Good job.

    CrimsonWatersAlien
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  • From aherohasfallen on March 08, 2010
    I'm sure you did read it on another site. My pen name on fanfiction.net is sailor peach, I move and rewrote some of the story on aff so I could make it more adult. Yes I am going to continue this story very very soon. I have the next chapter written I just gotta type it :/ thanks for reading.
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  • From lovelyl on March 08, 2010
    I am pretty sure I read this on another site. But are you going to continue?
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