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Reviews for Moxibustion Violation

By : hsaotome

From Scorpinac on July 27, 2009
Okay, I'm not so sure about "Haido" being not in the room, but about damn time! Now the cure and beginning's of revenge! Okay, okay, I know, still have to destroy the incriminating evidence, but still, it is nigh! Okay, calming down now. Until glorious chapter 19. Laters.
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From ANON - thtiger on July 27, 2009
Another fun chapter with foreshadowing of future events. Hiroshi is turning out to be a natural, going to be interesting to see how he handles the truth.

Akane continues her shift to full and eager submissive. Even after he gets his strength back Ranma's going to have his hands full handling her needs.

More mushy romance with Ranma and Akane, a nice change of pace from the other. variation makes both more interesting.

Have a feeling that Ryouga is going to toss a wrench into a lot of plans.

And how long till Ukyou comes home and finds she's had squatters?
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From ANON - thtiger on July 22, 2009
Much better job on the Ranma-chan scene in this chapter. As vivid of some of the best of Akane's scenes. With Daisuke added into the mix it looks like Ranma's not the only quick shot in the story now. I'm sure he'll improve once he's getting all the pussy he can handle.

I am curious as to how Hiroshi and Daisuke are going to react when they find out the truth. Don't know that they could be kept in the dark for very long, even if Mishio wanted them to be. Would certainly improve their standing with Ranma if they refused to have anything to do with it, and only agreed after being blackmailed with what would happen to the girls if they don't go along with it.
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From ANON - Pariah on July 21, 2009
This installment was riddled with gold!

�Walking down the street after leaving, Akane wondered if she could find a way to give Daisuke some extra training. If she had to screw him, then the least he could do was learn to last long enough to satisfy her.�

�She told herself firmly that she was not insulted.�

�Her ass was moving up and down slightly as she tensed the muscles in her legs, pulling against the ropes. The motion was totally beyond her control. "This ... this isn't ... what I ... had in ... in mind ... Could you ..."�

"Too bad. I mean, uh, good."

I especially liked the last one since Akane intuited what she felt would be a good reason for asking Ranma such a thing. i.e. She actually thought there would be a good reason to ask in the first place. It made her sound like a gossipy girlfriend asking Ranma for an appraisal of a mutual lover. Was Hikaru's order to Akane foreshadowing perhaps? ;)

The only critique I have is that Ranma had no response (visual or verbal) to Akane's comment. Other than that, this chapter was perfect.
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From ANON - Pariah on July 19, 2009
That was a clever move by Akane. I'm sure Hiroshi would be reliable...Assuming his experience with a submissive Akane hasn't changed him significantly. I wonder if Daisuke's going to end up being a liability though.

Aside from that, I loved the part where she licked Ranma's face. I was a tad disappointed when she didn't go south on her for a more thorough cleaning. But I suppose the 69 scene made up for it well enough.

I look forward to seeing how you handle a gang rape scene with over three dozen people. You've done well so far with several guys, but a scene with about 40 people would seem to pose a challenge. It's definitely a good set up for Ranma figuring out how to get ahold of the pictures that are outside of Tokyo.

Great chapter.
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From ANON - John Olsen on July 19, 2009
Great chapter!! can see that Ranma and Akane are going to be together as girls a lot. I supose the gang will buy them clothes and accessories to make it more degrading for them. I suppose Akane will accept the new changes easy and Ranma will not be break but will cooperate for Akane sake.
I still don't know how they are going to break free. Maybe a plan involving the libido points, the party, Gosunkugi with his camera and a all out orgy with out control, so there will be pictures of the group doing it between males or females or alone and could not stop because of the pressure points. any way really good story and lots of angles. cant wait to read more.
JO
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From ANON - thtiger on July 19, 2009
Excellent, well worth the wait and anticipation. Liked the rape scenes, the yuri in particular even if I'm not all that into girl on girl. And as I'm a secret romantic I liked the mushy second session with Ranma and Akane.

Interesting points. The fact that Akane managed to con Michio in regards to Hiroshi and Daisuke. Proves he is not nearly as smart as he thinks he is. Or maybe that was his anger talking. That would explain the Librarian thing. From his perspective that was a really stupid move that could blow their whole deal as he does not know about Akane's previous encounters with him. And the Kyoto thing is not all that smart either. Though I'm certainly looking forward to it. There is an old saying that two people can keep a secret, if one of them is dead. And here he is expanding the number of people in on this little secret, and bringing in a whole pile of people who will be aware of Akane and Ranma's sex toy status even if they don't know who the girls are. Its way too many factors to control. Of course as the Author you are the decider on how that plays out.

One thing about the Kyoto deal. It gives Ranma and Akane a chance to pinpoint the person who's got Michio's ace in the hole incrimnating photos. He's pretty much has to be at the party, and giving Akane and Ranma a goal to pursue in that segment might make it easier for them to deal with what is going to happen to them.
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From Scorpinac on July 19, 2009
>>To Scorpinac. Hitting the "revert libido" points would just revert the libido to normal, which would do nothing if it was already normal.

Darn. Oh, well. Though another thought occurs of something Ranma could do in the "getting back at them" department - smack their libido points so as to raise them about tenfold or so, and then leave. Hey, considering what it did to his guy side... Until chapter 17, I guess. Laters.
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From ANON - OlympicHam on July 16, 2009

Well, I gota say I like your story. A dark psychological erotic journey, following Akane's experience in becoming a sex slave. Along the way we see Ranma taken advantage of in his darkest moments. Ryouga goes from ubervirgin to playboy.

The flow of the story is good for the most part. The setup of events is great, leading chapter to chapter, themes adding to later themes. Characters seem to be acting close to there core construction, well, at least as any shounen turned erotic story can be.

My biggest concern for this story is that around chapter 12 you've been glazing over some portions of the story. In chapter 10, having Happosai use pressure points on Ryouga so that he could mentally be ok with raping Ranma was genius. Having a random black out, one of which doesn't have any build up or explanation, so that Michio catches Ranma in his home, seems forced and rushed.

I've been reading this story since you've started, and I've noticed that you release every 2 to 3 days. While as a reader, I love fast updates, but please don't feel bad about taking time to flush out some of the details.

The time Ranma spent training with Happosai seems very played down. Every erotic encounter Ranma has during that story line seems open with the tail end of whatever happened to him. The gangbang and his massive masturbation scene just seemed to be dropped at our feet. There isn't any real opening of the event, and they both lack building tension to any crescendo. The one time that you do go into detail about an erotic encounter with Ranma is when he torments Ukyou, which turned out really well.

As techniques go, I'd like to add that the libido point is one of the most powerful points you could probably create. As you've shown in Ranma's masturbation scene, once the point has been pushed to the extreme limit, a person can't stop masturbating. Beyond probably being very addictive, I can only imagine that a subject under this affect would never stop, even after they've rubbed themselves raw, even after they've exhausted themselves and passed out. The best thing is that if you don't know the counter point, you have no hope in beating it.

While I am a big fan of Justice prevailing, I could easily see at this point, Ranma being held indefinitely in some cell and Akane given the belief that he's run off in shame. Akane finally becomes a full sex slave, close curtain.

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From ANON - Pariah on July 16, 2009
*whistles* Michio seems especially more devilish, which was probably your intent.

I felt that Ranma's willingness to surrender himself plus his naivete was a little forced. How their conversation rationalized his decision was reasonable enough, but Ranma was still in a position of strength. It's possible that both him and Michio didn't bother to think that far ahead, but it just felt weird.

Perhaps you meant to portray the rape scenes this way so to reserve the eroticism for the next chapter, but there was a lot less description allotted to Ranma's gangbang; was she made to enjoy it on some level or was it basically uncomfortable for her? Will this be elaborated on in the next chapter while she's being abused right next to Akane?

Anywho, I can't wait for what you have cooked up for the two of them.

Also, I have this really weird idea that I just can't help but mention: If and when Ryouga finds out about what's happening, who's he gonna feel more angry and territorial over? Ranma or Akane? I just can't shake this hilarious image of him taking his time to subdue Akane and warm up her motor, and just when he's on the precipice of helping himself to her, Ranma arrives who's mere presence motivates him to step over a ready and willing Akane just to get to her--which would definitely piss off Akane.

Overall, good chapter.
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From Mario on July 16, 2009
First, let me compliment you on a well thought-out, well-written story. It is very enjoyable to read, although the story does push the bounds of believability at times.

The only thing that really annoys me is the severe case of stupidity both Akane and Ranma seem to have come down with. Ranma already knows about Akane's situation, and doesn't blame her for being raped - shouldn't that clue her off to the fact that her family might be just as understanding? Those are really the only people that matter. As for the respect of passerby, I don't see how that compares to being continually raped and beaten by people you despise. I don't know what it is, but I can't help but despise a character with such a complete lack of dignity.

As for Ranma...I know the guy's supposed to be stupid, but just how dumb can you get? Did he think he'd get out of that situation with just a beating in his male form? After all the lessons he's been given in the past, he still doesn't get it until (s)he's getting the clothes ripped off him/her? Geez. My advice to Ranma in that situation would have been: "Get the plastic bag, man." There is a limit to forgiveness...it almost cheapens the strength of his feelings for Akane that he doesn't just kill the guy.

When it comes down to it, they have the threat of jail against a few lousy photos. However, I have to congratulate you on making the whole situation evoke such strong feelings - I get so irritated with the stupidity of the characters, I almost start rooting for them to be raped. However, none of this is a complaint about your writing - this portrayal of the characters is just as good as any other, and it's quite enjoyable to see them punished for their idiocy. My sole warning is that (for me, at least) the story already borders on the fantastic - I think it would lose a lot of its tension if Ranma and Akane do anything more feebleminded than they've already done.
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From ANON - thtiger on July 15, 2009
I suppose there is not much point in urging people to review, as it is the only payment our wonderful writer gets. The only people reading these are the people who are already reviewing.

Anyway, to get to the review.

Huzaaa, we have Ranma-chan in the main thread. Things are getting even more interesting. I will quibble a bit as a Ranma-chan fan. We get to see a lot of Akane's inner thoughts as she deals with her situation, most expecially during the sex scenes, but hardly any from Ranma. I think it's important that we see the different ways they cope with the situation, and their body's reactions to it. I'm going to assume, and hope, that Ranma can't keep from being aroused, but I think she'll have a stronger sense of self than Akane. She's been through the fire. I don't think she'd have survived her training trip if she didn't have a huge sense of self. So I don't see her falling into the trap of thinking that she's a slut for enjoying. And of course she has the excuse of being in a cursed form and not her natural one. That gives her a get out guilt card to a certain extent.
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From Scorpinac on July 15, 2009
Unforeseen complications, yeah, kind of hard to foresee a friggin' blackout! Darn it all... As to your explanation, okay, I'll buy that. And their finales better be satisfactory. Oh, and in regard to the Libido Points, a thought doth occur - what if Ranma hit them with the revert points first, without any raising before hand, would that not put their precious libidos straight into the toilet? Just saying. Well, until chapter 16, I guess. (How many are left, anyway?) Laters.
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From ANON - 29nightfall on July 15, 2009
A very well written dark fic. The moment that Ranma or Akane seem to be almost on the break of something good happen it seem to go bad. The charatization of Ukyo was done very good with nothing making her to ooc but at the same time be beliavable. Though it seem that you have Ryoga as Dr. Jekell/ Mr Hyde, I'm wondering if you basing it of the latest version of the classic from BBC. and will there be a physical way of telling the two personality apart. Yet you still don't seem to be finish with how thing are going. Can't wait to see how things wrap up.
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From Scorpinac on July 13, 2009
Okay, did something Happosai do to him, like the readjustment of the curse settings, mess up his ability to hold it for more than a few minutes? Cause he sure didn't have that problem with Ukyo...okay, she was raping him at the time and he wanted anything but to be in her, but still! As long as the worst offenders - Michio, Yamamda, one or two of the others - get properly beat down, and the others know it's game over and don't post the photos, or better yet the photos are all destroyed(i admit the cousin in Kobe remains a problem), I'll be happy. Until chap. 15, then. Laters.
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