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Reviews for Spring Nicht

By : WCE
  • From ANON - Anon on August 22, 2009
    Hmm, what to say first? I guess I should start with the title, which immediately caught my attention since I recognized it as the Tokio Hotel song. I don't normally read from AFF.net and much less from the D.N. Angel section (despite having a story in it), but I thought the story would be interesting and I liked how you used the German instead of the English title. After reading your writing, it's definitely worth taking some extra time to write a longer review, so hopefully you'll understand that I rarely leave empty praise. I liked your take on a subject that seems to be one that most authors deal with sooner or later - I should know, I wrote something pretty similar years ago, and I've probably read at least six or seven other variations of the same theme. Nevertheless, I thought you came as close as I've ever seen to an emotional, but not overly wannabe-angsty portrayal. (Although you could argue that TH's song and music video were certainly the kind of emoness that draws as many sneers as screaming fans.) It took me a while as I was reading to figure out why you did an admirable job of refraining from the usual "Don't Jump" story, but I finally narrowed it down to your balance of detail with backstory.

    It was obvious from first sentence that the narrator would be describing how the person got to that point while going up the fifty-four floors. What really worked was the specific things that you mentioned as you gave the background of being institutionalized, the ex, etc. I'm not sure if this is just me and I only notice because it's something I remember bringing up in own writing, but the form really fits the moment of being up there and looking down: everything can be one big blur, but at the same time, the tiniest things can be picked out - your blue rabbit or expensive makeup. loL, sorry if I'm pointing out everything you already know, but I figure that if you did it deliberately, you'd appreciate knowing that someone noticed. Anyway, I liked how you didn't use names until the end, since it gave an added dimension of mystery, however temporary. I guessed early on, but at least it wasn't confirmed until the end. These added touches helped transform an otherwise predictable narrative into something enjoyable to read.

    Last of all, I just wanted to point out one other stylistic thing. You use very short sentences in the story, which creates a really choppy effect. I think some of that can be smoothed out, but I suppose you can also use it to add to the sense of urgency. Although with 54 floors, it's also a matter of self-conscious egoism and also the issue of plausibly stretching out the story to give enough background before the actual meeting at the top. Anyway, kudos to you and I hope to see more of your work in the future for D.N. Angel.

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