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Reviews for Pokemon-on-Girl Pregnant Oneshots

By : Thunderdome
  • From RadioWave_ on February 18, 2020

    Please update


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  • From ANON - Jun on February 28, 2015
    Will you continue this?
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  • From ANON - Anon on May 08, 2011
    How about this time, a Celebi and/or Lugia story with a celebi story having that girl from POKEMON4EVER and a Lugia story having melody. Byes great job on the ponyta, I'm not used to other authors actually using my suggestions.

    Ciao,
    An anonymous author.
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  • From ANON - marcohimura on April 05, 2011
    son buenos
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  • From ANON - Zero Mason on February 22, 2011
    I live you stories. How about a Dawn/Piplup.
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  • From ninesenshi on February 14, 2011
    Nice story, sexy. Your plots are improving. Hope to see more.
    SailorNemesis
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  • From WotanAnubis on February 14, 2011
    You're definitely getting better. That Joy/Ponyta chapter in particular was quite fun. Keep it up.
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  • From Ficfan3484 on February 13, 2011
    Wow, I like the stories so far. Keep writing them.
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  • From ANON - The Anon Critic on February 10, 2011
    SOOOO Hotttttttt....
    These are great oneshots- just what I have been looking for. If yoou still write could you do one with a Ponyta?

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  • From megadeth425 on February 05, 2011
    The Misty chapter is a great improvement over the May chapter, so much so I'd honestly suggest rewriting it, actually. Aside from that, keep up the good word, and I look forward to seeing what comes up next.
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  • From ninesenshi on January 24, 2011
    Too short, but nicely smutty. Maybe you could do a series of girls knocked up by their Pokemon.
    SailorNemesis
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  • From ANON - andrew on January 22, 2011
    hey great job even if it was short
    do more may stories and larger

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  • From WotanAnubis on January 22, 2011
    Hmm. Where to begin?

    Well, since you apparently just began writing, I hope you don't mind if I give you a few tips. I don't mean to sound harsh, but I frequently I do come across just like that.

    Anyway, first, the formatting. I suggest you use the Enter key a few more times. Having blank lines between dialogue and paragraphs just makes the whole thing look a little more neat, making everything easier on the eyes.

    Going more in-depth, from the title and your profile page, I believe the main turn-on for you in this fic is that May's pregnant. Fair enough. However, you introduce her pregnancy quickly, almost glancing over the fact before moving on. I think it would've been better if, after the 'fuck my pregnant pussy!' exclamation revealing May's pregnancy, you would've spent some time describing her. Describe to us how she feels about her pregnancy, how (or if) her feelings changed over the months, describe how she looks, whatever. Just take a moment to really sell the reader on the idea that her being pregnant is sexy.

    On a more technical note, there are a few points where you describe something happening, then have May tell us what happens. This repitition just seems clunky and unneccesary. For example:

    [May] could tell Blaziken was about to cum as well.

    "You're gonna cum, aren't you?"

    May doesn't have to tell us that, because we already know. The last line already told us. Don't have May restate what you already told us, just have her react to it (in this case by shouting "Do it inside me!").

    So, with all that unpleasantness out of the way, I will say that you show promise. If you just keep working at it, I think you'll improve. Keep writing, even if they are just simple little sex scenes with very little context, and then, one day, you will look back to this ficlet and cringe. ;)
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