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Reviews for Empty Hourglass

By : Stormborn Apostle

From ANON - Michael on July 18, 2014
This was fantastic. You displayed an inevitability, without making it corny or overtly dramatic. You fit in humour where it was needed and didn't turn it into a blobbering drama-fest, amazing work.

I do only have one criticism, and please forgive me, but I can't personally think of a way to improve it, so this constructive criticism won't be as helpful as I'd like I'm afraid.

The whole thing was perfect, but I feel it ended a bit too...abruptly? The end with all of them together was fantastic, and this was a one off story so I don't want to judge it too harshly. But his death falling into the space of a single sentence seemed a bit..lacking. Almost anti-climactic. I wasn't expecting anything dramatic or messy or violent, I did expect him to die in his sleep as soon as hypnosis was mentioned, but it still seemed a bit off. I'm sorry I can't offer a better explanation then that, but I thought I would give you my two cents.

Anyway keep up the good work! You're an inspiration to many.
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From ANON - Chaotic Eon on August 08, 2012
Uhmm... maybe Psymakio�s strong will to stay with Slash unleashes a power unknown by everyone and it may bring him back to life for a short spam of time by the cost of half Psymakio�s life and she gets to see Slash again with her even if it is for one day. It might be another oneshot. Just saying.
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From ANON - 1358-2S on August 08, 2012
FUCK! TT_TT fuck,fuck,fuck,fuck! i cant stop crying! TT^TT i wished they could have stayed together u,u i finished reading it about one hour ago and i finally got calmed enough to write this review. the only story that involves �mating�that has stinged my heart and made me cry..
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From ANON - captainspranklez on June 28, 2012
I wished a diety or something steped in to stop it or if he came back to life (witch would be an excellent idea if I may say so that should happen no mater what) and then epic battles between rocket and society would take place (witch people will want cuss they love the story about psymakio and slash) and want to know about darkrai and regigigas cuss you kinda left a lot out and haven't finished and then at the end an amazing battle between janus geovanni slash and co. silver kiako the great ones darkrai and regigigas (maybe myako and querio)... and a magicarp in one big battle leaveing heavy casualties that nearly shattered the earth in shear power and love as an intempt to. save billions (or thousands) of innocents not some half cut off story that has your audience hanging on as this wonderful story unfolds in the hands of one guy who will make or break this superb quest of slash and psymakio (and/or of ainchient chain of sad fates and ugly truth) I rate this a above perfect 20 out of 5 (4 times perfect O.O) the fate of the world rests in your hands (do tell me if this gives you ideas slash tell me @ ryanchase0798@yahoo(dot)com
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From ANON - Irisheye37 on June 22, 2012
Wow I just realized how much this world (the real human world) completly sucks I am going to model my life over this story that trully touched me.

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From FoggyAlex17 on October 29, 2011
Alright, alright. Hold the fucking phone. You mean to tell me that after a year, a whole fucking year of inactivity, all you have to give us is a oneshot telling is Slash is going to die? Dude, what the fuck! As touching as this story was you could have at least uploaded another chapter of Sinners to go with this!
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From ANON - matthew farmerf on September 05, 2011
truly a wonderful oneshot. as a reader of sinners i am heartbroken to hear something happened. i hope there is a double meaning to your ending here. that said the sand castle contest....you owe me a pair of pants. i laughed THAT hard. mainly between crawdaunt manetric an our beloved princess. this little one shot shows why sinners is so good. why all your work is so good. you give so much to a reader. and you fill our hopes with joy. thank you even as a oneshot. its wonderful.
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From ANON - Some random dude on June 13, 2011
Oh, how times have changed.

This story, while explicit, I hold close to heart due to the sheer relevance of it to my life. The characters seem to dance about in an invisible, mental play, showing the world of life that was presented to me. I remember, at the lone age of 14, I was living in the town of new orleans, oppressed mentally by the ignorance and hate that shone like daggers behind the smiles of the �locals�. The world was so bitter, and i so clearly remember the odd hatred for not the world, but humans. I will sadly say i am one, as it is likely everyone here is, but as humbled i have become because of the malevolent beings around my life, I lived differently. I strayed off of the path of humans, learning to think and learn entirely on something i invented, and i can proudly say that it has come to nothing but benefit. Everyone i know and meet consider me rare, and even my parents...i have come to mentally and emotionally surpass them.Its interesting, yes, and I consider it a gift of life, presented to me in the chaos of real time, but even the greatest strength i had made me weak. (EDIT: i rant for a bit here, but it all ends up explaining itsef. Like a jumbled review in that, subject to my scattered mind :3 )They say that you can only grow bigger, stronger, and more powerful should you choose, but like many, the precursory lives that set these rues forgot to mention that with the vast power and strength you receive from growing, (some) people get hollow inside in sync. I led that, and at the age i was, I was forced by my own mind to look at things better, and all i saw was lost hopes, and only a faint, mourning whisper of the world it could have been. I was alone, far too young to expect anyone...female...to be true to heart and, well, loving. Most kids around then were too idiotic, perverse, and incredibly hurtful in their naive rants. In fact, the terms of...love...were so shattered and watered down that i could never call a counterpart a girlfriend or...anything, without feeling sorrow over seeing myself having to conform to life in modern times. I was simply left to cry, despite my strength and sure knowledge of safety, (i had learned to defend myself and others in the environment, developing a new fighting style that is my own.) and i felt that i was left with a curse. I was forced to push myself into different conscious, but also forced to selfishly look on at the naive world that existed before me, waiting to finally join when people could learn to think in reality, not in the conjunctionary timeline set for them. (i think I'm ranting... -___-�� ) All this, seems to correspond to the story you have written, showing that sometimes, true happiness can only be found in what most people consider the world of others, or even taboo. I have yet to see anyone in my world i care about, as the years have caught up to me in saddening rememberance that even though i am successful in the modern financial world, and have really nothing to be worried about ( I�m still really young and healthy) Its just...taking too long. Yes, I'm impatient, but only so because i was forced to be more alone in life than any mere normal human even my age now have yet to graze. I'm simply growing more impatient at the monotonous cycle of life. Even though i travel, go to places, and even host events, I've never met anyone that showed what i loved in people. In your extremely well written story, i find that you portray a girl that showed absolutely everything i could ever want, and more ( :3 ) , and that gave me a little more hope to know that someone could even grasp the concept of what its like to live like i have, even if its a portrayed character in writing. I have since read the story parts simply showing when the couple were together, to remind myself that its only a matter of time. ANYWHO, i would like to ask if you could please write the story itself differently, showing maybe a series of split pathways that the two chose, so that there is at least ONE ending where the two are left alive and happy. ( Pweease ) It�s rather selfish, but i am a bit sad knowing that this is one of the endings, and i would be almost devastated to see the story ONLY end like this. Its a one shot, after all, so if you don't want so get a bomb in the mail one day, write �Sinners� (the ACTUAL story) so that they DO find a way, along one point where someone else maybe has to make a decision, like slashes parents, and that ends up deciding if slash lives or not, and end up making the right one. The one shot in that case could show what happened if they chose wrong? hmm? HMM?!?!?

Heh, not really. (not)

confusing yet? :3

I would really like it, and i'm sure a lot of people would appreciate any effort to subside the (demonic toying with emotion) sad ending you have posed here. And once again, nobody wants a mailed bomb, right? RIGHT??

-A rather crazy dude
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From ANON - jpspike on April 08, 2011
Wow. This is one of those things that I want to stop reading, but I force myself to because it's so good. This is a very powerful piece to me, even more so because the "happily ever after" ends are so over played. We knew it was going to happen eventually, but damn it's powerful. I don't think I'll have the strength of will to read it again anytime soon, but be proud of this, it was very moving. Knowing that much of this will be incorporated into the main story makes reading each chapter past and future even more bitter sweet. Lastly, i don't think I can say it enough, thank you for uploading this oneshot and for writing this story, it is an enjoyable read.
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From ANON - General Review on April 05, 2011
As an avid reader of the Sinners story line, and as a man who fell in love with the characters, I suppose I always hope that, using your divine power that comes with being author, you would save him. That there would be some magical way out. That after everything, it might be a happy ending. But I suppose this seems like a better ending to you. It was written artfully and masterfully which only made it that much more depressing when he finally passed. I hope perhaps that my plea as a reader might be heard and you might be convinced to change how it ends, but either way, I will faithfully follow this story to the oh so bitter end.
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From ANON - HsdaMKII on April 03, 2011
Is it strange that I'm not saddened by this?

I have an acceptance of inevitable death/dying young due to personal problems (heart issue), so having a predicted, perfect final day filled with friends, camaraderie, and true love, and not a drop of pain, seems like a beautifully happy thing.
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From ANON - Erik McCartney on April 03, 2011
I must say, that was quite moving. I had thought you disappeared, but here you are.

It's magnificent really. It saddened me that nothing was done to prevent it, but it's a oneshot so there is still hope, right?

I hope for more sinners soon and though I have only been following for a little over a year, I am a loyal fan. Keep it up.

-Erik
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From portalmasterx7 on April 02, 2011
im so sad i can only put it in the following words "i r sad panda :(" OH WELL HAHAHA
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From ANON - Draco Falconi on April 01, 2011
Slash, all I can say is holy shit. I've been yet another one of those people who has been following Sinners since its first chapter was put up on AFF; and I must say, this one-shot has absolutely got me in total tears! The raw emotion you're able to weave into text on a computer screen... it amazes me, and probably just about everyone else that reads these works. Sinners has always been one of the very few stories that I would check up on twice a week to see if there were updates!

It's a damn shame that this is fan-fiction, and that Pokemon is owned by Nintendo and Game Freak... otherwise, I'd probably be echoing a million people when I say GET THIS STORY PUBLISHED! The two arcs, the one-shots, all of it - just get it out there! Keep on writing and God bless you, sir, for your writing talent!
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From Stormborn Apostle on April 01, 2011
whodunnit---While I appreciate the sentiment, please don't use reviews to respond/argue with other reviewers. I respond to everyone on my Livejournal, so it's already been taken care of.
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