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Reviews for Pool Party(Completed)

By : Lynette
  • From Peaceguy on November 07, 2007
    cool
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  • From ANON - wantshentai on November 13, 2006
    Hey, I love this story! Not a lot of people are that daring, but it's awesome! I'm working on starting up my own fanfic page (www.myspace.com/wantshentai) (I mostly used myspace for the free domain and web space) anyway, I was hoping I could post your story on the site. I plan to include proper citation (MLA) and give you credit. Shoot me an e-mail if that's okay with you. (wantshentai@yahoo.com) Thanks!
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  • From ANON - Mike on January 14, 2006
    This was the best yuri story I have read.
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  • From ANON - Carol (Me~10/30) on October 31, 2005
    One more thing I wanted to add: Thank you for not including Chibiusa as well as NOT having Hotaru get it on with Michiru and Haruka.
    That would just be wrong. >_< I just thought of an (sickminded) idea. Maybe you should write another chapter of this with Mamoru in the mix? He could be screwing Usagi while someone else gets him off or something. *grins evily* Just a thought.
    Later!
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  • From ANON - Me on October 31, 2005
    Wow...normally I don't go for all out smut or dickgirl porn, but I gotta say that was HOT! I always wanted to see a fic about the senshi having group sex, so thanks for delivering!
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  • From ANON - AnimE FreaK on October 29, 2005
    DAMN!!!! ALL OF MY FRIENDS READ THIS AND GOT HoRnY...They did it when they read this...^_~
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  • From ANON - me on October 28, 2005
    One of my favorites! I cum every freaking time i read this while im doing it...usually before i finish the whole thing. ;)
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  • From on October 25, 2005
    I loved the story. Great Job.
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  • From ANON - koolmint(este) on July 03, 2005
    i also really want to finger my self if that's to disterbing by all mean plz tell me and i will never mention it again.also again wriet more love this story even if you don't want to have a plot in it
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  • From ANON - koolmint(este) on July 03, 2005
    wow u have so many hits yet only like 9 reviews ppl r mean they read ur stuff and don't tell u how grate it is. all I have to say is wow unexpected wonder if serena can do that with the crystal9pondering0 okies later write more
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  • From ANON - Anita Readman on May 09, 2005
    Damn, very good story!!! I am suprized that you didn't add luna to the mix. Remember she got be human in that one movie.
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  • From ANON - none on April 23, 2005
    It was sooooooo good. please write more!
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  • From ANON - YoukoPeam on April 01, 2005
    OMG!!! i loved it! It was one of the better ones i read and trust me i read alot!! Keep writing! Please?
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  • From ANON - Melanie on January 20, 2005
    Well, I guess you did warn us after it that it had no plot... however, no story is good without even the least bit of plot. I think you made everything happen way to fast, it was just putting stuff and random ideas together. I think this story could have been a lot better if you had more description in it. For example, the reactions. You can't just have people say "they got horny and did yadda yadda" I mean... unless they did this before then people won't naturally act like that, even if they are horny.
    You see, the story would turn out a lot better if you described this better, if you sorta lead up to most of this. It all seems so rushed, I mean, what's the hurry? Take your time with the story. I understand why you did that whole dick thing I guess, it's just... I dunno, you can email me any time if you want help in doing another story like thsi. I mean, it's all good ideas but it all is just happening way too fast. The reader isn't expecting that they did all of this before.
    Anyway, I have more comments but they can only be shown through editing some parts of your writing. All I can say is show, not tell. Meaning... show more emotions, I mean, natural emotions. Make them seem more human, I mean, goosh! Say you were one of them, would you get up like that and start doing all of that stuff? You'd feel nervous, unsure of your thoughts and feelings, and possibly you'd feel confused. Unless they are used to all of this, I don't think that they'll be able to so willingly do all of this stuff like that. Setsuna, the green hair one (not sure of I had the name right...), I think you did well with her since you said that she was thinking like this for a while. So it makes more sense why she was so able to do all the stuff she did.
    And, I don't think they'd all gather around Serena and do things mainly to her like that. If so, I think that idea would go better with another story plot, not with this one.
    Overall, I think this story was alright, as a letter grade-- I'd say that i'd be a 'D', so that's like what? Two out of five stars?
    Anyway, good luck with your future work, and I hope you try one of these stories again (meaning a f/f story).
    Until next time,

    ~Lady Melanie~

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  • From ANON - trixrstrange on October 22, 2004
    As you can tell from the e-mail I'm a sailor moon fan. Good FF, great way to interpet all the Hentai and not forgetting my two fav senshi, Michiru and Haruka!! If anything, can you write more about them in the next chapter. And THANK YOUx10000000 for not putting Hotaru in a sexual position with Michiru-mama and Haruka-papa.

    Love, Hugs and Bludgers,

    Trix ^_^
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