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Reviews for yoru no uta

By : somnambulated

From ANON - Gena on May 17, 2005
i'm just dying to know how all of this ends up. will anything recover? will it just all collapse under the weight of itself?
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From ANON - neffy-cricket on March 29, 2005
Alright, I must confess, I only made it through to the third chapter, because the need to scroll left and right drove me CRAZY xX;; But, make no mistake, I love your writing. You've got talent, and... don't kill me for saying this, please don't... I think you're wasting it on fanfiction. You have amazing writing abilities, and I think they would be better applied towards original characters, not limited by someone else's story line. But I'm taking the voice of an authority I obviously don't have. If fanfiction is what you like to write, then, by all means, go for it! I just think that you have so much potential that could be put into original writing. I enjoyed your story a lot. The first good yuri fic I've read in a long while, in fact. Great job. Now, excuse me while I rest my eyes from all that left-to-right scrolling x__X.

~n-c
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From ANON - ~Marshmallow_Angel~ on March 25, 2005
i'm so happy that u didn't stop writing this story!!.. i was so disapointed when i went to check again and again numerous times on fanfiction.. although i'm a S/S fan i must say i still love this work.. the images and colors that are evoked from ur words makes it addictive to re read your stories and crave for more. It was really exciting to see that you are still continuing and i hope you have time to update soon.. but your chapters are always worth the wait.... it's really fusterating that you arent' recieving the credit for you works that i know you deserve, not like alot of stories that you read now that have no substance at all... thank you so much for putting time and energy into your stories.. hopefully you'll continue to write (hopefully S/S ^-^) and also finish this piece of work.
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From ANON - me on March 14, 2005

Shouldn�t it be �nothing else in the world mattered�?

Blame Wildefyre, she made a monster out of me.

Well, back on the shoujo track again, even though they swore it off two chapters ago. Girls, girls. I�m really not a big fan of these hot and heavy scenes, but I have to say this was very nice. Thick with imagery as usual, but the part about Tomoyo�s hair not being loved brought the future problems home, same as her wonderings about fantasies. Is it enough, this? Or does Tomoyo want to marry the girl? Maybe she and Sakura and Syaoran can all live as a happy threesome forever and ever?

Um. The door was open. And neither Touya nor Yuki nor Kero entered the room, thank god. My only complaint about the scene would be that Tomoyo brought Sakura to orgasm so quickly, though I�m not really one to be talking. She pulled it off in like, a paragraph, in the last PS scene. Ma na. I just want to see how this affects Li. And what the heck happened with Rika?

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From ANON - guess who? on February 15, 2005
The best parts were the Touya parts, though it would have been nice to get some detail on that 'crept upstairs'. Sigh. It's cute, the things he thinks about his sister, though I question his restraint. It's true he was even younger (if he did get that far with Kaho) but something about his personality tells me he's not interested in being fair and unhypocritical. He is a guy, after all, and Sakura his little sister.
Minor detail. Sakura's fainting, on top of everything else so far in this story, has got me wondering if she's come down with a bad case of cancer or something. Would you do that? (eyes you up and down suspiciously) I truly loved the last line, 'they smiled, which was worse'. Poor, poor Touya.

I copy/pasted this chapter to read at home and then couldn't get back to this site for a while, hence the late review. Ditto for Statues, but I'll get to it as soon as possible.
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From ANON - and again on February 01, 2005
Um, yeah, really good question. And not just knew but knew a lot, many details. Is it really okay for a teenage girl to just walk in and get an abortion, no permission or anything? It is canon (episode 29) that Rika�s father is a businessman, but shh � I won�t say anything. I can�t help but feel she should really give Terada the chance and at least decide if he wants the baby, teacher/student relationship be damned. Fuji and Nadeshiko did it. Well, I�m a libertarian so it�s none of my business. Guess I�ll just wait and see what�s up with Tomoyo and abortions.
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From ANON - me on February 01, 2005
I�ve been avoiding this site until I get ps ch15 done, so I see you�ve updated twice now. Er� I guess you want a real review this time? Picky, picky. To soothe your fears: you are not predictable. I don�t have a clue where this fic is going and I never did have much of a clue for �in the rain� � a complex mystery if there ever was one. You kept me guessing until the very end, I didn�t even know chapter 37 would be the last chapter until it was. Your writing style IS consistent, and that�s good. It�s supposed to be. I�ve often told you I envy your poetic descriptive style, even if it does mean the characters can take half a page to do something, but it�s something uniquely you and fitted to your stories. Can you imagine me writing Wildflower like that? Impossible. That�s probably why you�ll never write an action fic, and thank goodness because I don�t want your competition.

We all have our favorite pet cliches � witness my self parody recently yanked from ff net. You tend to make Sakura pregnant a lot, relatively more than any other writer I know, so I figured when you brought it up in the last chapter you were just making fun of yourself. (well, you were, even if it wasn�t intentional. I laughed)
Li: Government? What government? I don�t care.

Hmm, yeah, I should use that line someday. Anyway the point is to relax because if I say you�re a good writer then I think you�re a good writer because when it comes to this stuff I don�t lie. Witness me tolerating a Tomoyo/Sakura fic, for crying out loud, I didn�t even do that for my oldest friend Tam. You�re the first fic writer I�ve ever (EVER) seen write awkwardness between the two, even out of T/S fics. The standard clich� seems to be that Sakura realizes she doesn�t love Li and immediately jumps between the sheets with Tomoyo, pausing only to turn out the light. And as I�ve mentioned, the smarmy sugary relationship between them is enough to make me get like Sakura in your opening scene. So far you�ve managed to avoid all that, treating Li decently and the girls very realistically. None of this has swayed me in any way to support the pairing, but I am still reading.

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From ANON - snarky side of me on January 15, 2005
You're not pregnant, are you?

No!

Are you sure? This IS a Somnabulating fic. You can tell because there's no sun, we're wearing incorrect gray uniforms, and none of us can turn on the light in less than a paragraph.

----

Snicker. I could so parody you if I had the chance.
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From ANON - me on January 09, 2005
Okay, it's been a while since I've read this. With your fics I usually copy/paste the whole thing and save it to disk, so I won't have to read them in the very un-moodsetting teacher's office. That's why the review's so late. But I've been busy with photos and stuff.

Well, plus for the symmetry. Surprise at the beginning and at the end. I get it, Rika and Tomoyo are parallel. When she sees that Rika hasn't exactly just been 'wishing and wanting' for a while now, she kinda trips and falls into a kiss with Sakura. As for that kiss - well, I don't know. For one thing, the high school hallways seems a trifle public. For another, I don't really see where it came from. But I know in real life, stuff like that can just happen, so I'm not damning you for it. More than anything I want to see where this goes ala Syaoran. Is Sakura going to cheat on him? Guess he deserves it, for what he did to her in 'in the rain'. har. Or maybe we could indulge my bohemian CCS and have a threesome!! Not that I think Tomoyo and Li are even remotely interested in touching each other, but maybe he could just watch. Anything to keep them S and S from breaking up! (sniffle)
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From ANON - peacewish on January 05, 2005
Well, this chapter was appropriately symmetrical. Surprise at the beginning and end. Were you trying to show tomoyo that even the most pathetic-seeming crushes can actually bloom into reality? I don't quite get the kiss at the end, where it came from or why. And isn't the school hallway just a leeetle public for such a display? We are now officially in dangerous territory, given my loathing for Sakura/Tomoyo, but I'll keep reading out of sheer morbid curiosity. I can't figure out at all where you're going with this, and that's one thing you definitely don't have in common with most T/S authors.
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From ANON - you know on December 19, 2004

Creepy ending. But I did enjoy Sakura and Syaoran�s little moment when she burst into tears � Li is a ridiculously perfect boyfriend. But I love him anyway. What I�m enjoying about this story is that, unlike any other (of the admittedly few) Sakura/Tomoyo fics I�ve read, this one doesn�t demonize Li or punt him out of the plot in the very first chapter. He�s obviously a big part of this story.

Regarding Tomoyo (who so would definitely say something like that Winnie-the-pooh pillow line), her pull on Sakura is obviously stronger than either of them consciously suspect. She�s literally feeling Tomoyo�s angst, and Sakura doesn�t know how to handle that. (And Sakura does too love being the center of attention, didn�t you see how she was playing it up on the stage as the prince? People don't join the cheerleading squad to blend in.) When Tomoyo said, �quite the opposite�, I got that Tomoyo meant she was hurting Etsuya, and not that Etsuya was making her happy. Right?

and since you brought up the whole 'rain' thing, what does the title of this story mean?

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From ANON - etsu_tha_kitsune on December 05, 2004
That was beautiful. You are a true poet. This everyday speach was transformed into poetry throughout the entire piece. I loved it.
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From Capitalist on December 02, 2004

Well, that answers that question at least. Concerning Tomoyo�s and Etsuya�s relationship. Although I�m still not too sure about Sakura and Syaoran. I�m glad Li didn�t go home, I had a bad feeling too. And Sakura�s bad feeling really makes me worry; I hope you don�t plan on killing Syaoran just to get Sakura into Tomoyo�s bed.
How can no one else have never noticed your errant gray and black uniforms? It bothers me every time you mention it. Maybe it�s just because I�m so fact-conscious after writing 70 episode narratives. I was right, though, wasn�t I? Tomoyo is in every single darn episode.

While my irritation for T. Sue grows, I did like her/your insight on Hester�s problem. I don�t consider religion to be inherently bad anymore than marijuana or TV, it�s just a matter of how addicted certain people become. Look at the 9/11 hijackers. It�s all about perspective, people.

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From ANON - you know on November 09, 2004
Certainly unique, to see Tomoyo from an OC�s perspective. And the poor kid just doesn�t know what he�s in love with, couldn�t comprehend the nature of his competition. Sakura beat him with �hello� and a rabbit eraser. I liked the detail about the wings on her backpack, because those cute things are a big part of Sakura�s appeal. She can�t even own a pen without something cute on it, even her phone has to be pink and decorated with a charm. Sheesh. Anyway,r Tor Tomoyo, as usual. Not jealous but very much in her own world, in the shadows where Sakura will never belong. Living her mother�s life over, that�s swell. It�s unclear whether Tomoyo�s had sex with Etsuya, or her body is just beginning to think about it. Ditto for Sakura.

Loved the final scene, with the invitation to stay over. I automatically adore any scene between Touya and Syaoran, and maintain Clamp didn�t give them enough screen time. Peeking between blinds � fabulous. I�m easy to please. The shared and secret grin was better than a kiss.

This story has been up for a while, but it hasn�t been updated. Don�t let the low review count on this site discourage you, it�s the same for everyone. Over a hundred people looked at PS before even one left a review, and after a month I only had about six. Given the astonishingly low number of stories here (considering CCS at ff.net has over thouthousand) I�m not even sure that many people come by. So just write, and eventually the reviews will come. For me if nothing else, because it�s a relief to read a story where Sakura isn�t living in the throes of a foreign-literature loving depression following Daddy�s death. She�s more Sakura-like in this story than your other, and I appreciate it. That�s the girl Tomoyo fell in love with, after all.

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From ANON - peacewish on November 04, 2004
The psychoanalysis continues. Even in her fantasies it�s still Li with Sakura, she seems utterly unable to place herself in her own daydreams. Too used to being unloved, so inept at seeking attention. Does poor Etsuya even know what she�s seeing as he strokes her face? Did Sonomi close her eyes during sex and picture Nadeshiko?
Leaving Tomoyo aside, I really appreciate your take on the S+S relationship. So many fic writers seem determined to turn Syaoran into a modern Romeo, post second movie, scattering rose petals and writing poetry. Falling in love doesn�t change your personality! He�s a quiet, subtle guy and that�s how he�ll be with her. And yes, they�re not lucky at all. They did suffer for this love, they did work hard for it. They deserve their fluffy moments.

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