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Reviews for Your name here.

By : Ninelives
  • From enslavementthesis on September 05, 2008
    There is a lot of potential in this story, but you need to revise it a little before you can really realise that potential.

    Firstly, grammar etc - Please replace your -speech- with actual talking marks. It really does put people off. Your spelling is fine, and it isn't badly written. You could probably afford to be a little more emotive with your language, though.

    As for the character's - they are a little bit OOC, in both speech and in their interactions, but it isn't over the top.

    Seriously, all this fiction needs is a little tweaking, and it would be quite good.
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  • From KrystalChronicals on May 23, 2007
    good story
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  • From MinaLilith on March 17, 2007
    Nice job! Very well done indeed...
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