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Reviews for Watch out for the Green Eyes

By : chayron

From ANON - reviewer01 on August 09, 2010
Yes, I'm unhappy about the rape. I always avoid reading rape stories, and since you have no warning regarding that, I was not prepared. I mean I don't mind reading R rated stories if the plot is as this good, but a little warning would be nice.

I know my first review is weird, its just that. I honestly love how you write and how you narrate your story/ies well, I would've probably stay quiet and accept it as it is if this is not a fanfic. But then again, THIS is your story. If you wanted to make any of the character dance like monkeys with fire on their asses, I have no say or whatever.

I apologize if I appear flaming, but I'm not. It's just kinda hypocrite of Wolfram, when he demanded Yuri to be honest and loyal, while he is not. This chapter shows that, yes? He told Kyota not to say anything?

Kyota is weird, but I prefer him over Amae ANYTIME. I must admit though that Amae helps wolfram a lot back at that horrible castle. I love the elite guard, what's his name again? There's too many "A" character here, and I'm not much of memorizing their name. I can't figure out Asami though, he hated Wolfram but he's okay with Amae? And taking the side of the new person in camp over a guy who's been watching/taking care of you the whole time you're defenseless is not 'reality'. However stubborn a person is, especially if he's a human, I doubt he'd be as whiny and a brat after all those things that's happening at the moment. Asami and Amae are additional loads for Kyota and Wolfram, and treating those people who's been in constant watch over you with a bratty attitude, even if you think you're right, shows a psychological problem. Hmm... but then again, maybe they all have some loose screw at their heads. What with all the wars and rape and being lost and all...
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From ANON - reviewer01 on August 09, 2010
you have too much OC. And giving them much as important as the main character really gives me off a feeling that I'm reading an AU KKM. Well, I'm not a Greta lover, but removing Greta here sure made this 100 percent an AU KKM. Besides the fact that Wolfram, besides his lovely personality which you made, has no self-respect.

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From ANON - reviewer01 on August 08, 2010
I love your story, how well you create your character and the new ones. You write very well too.
In regards with your justification of Wolfram, I commend you for that. But you also ate your justification as to wolfram is beyond being a whiny prince. You've proved how strong he is, yet he could not control his body - sexually I mean. Watching someone doing someone is far from being erotic, especially if you're seeing is almost rape.

Second, Wolfram loves Yuri, yes. And you also noted that he finds other attractive but he only loves one man and that is Yuri. I understand. But then again, for me, I mean me only, true love is being faithful; mind, body and soul. Its the reason why Wolfram continuously called Yuri a cheater, because in a relationship loyalty and trust is important.

Again, it would've been understandable if they're married politically, but seeing they're not... its quite weird. I could have let it go if he had a relationship with Kyota, cause their feelings has foundation.

Amae, though not a Mary-sue is almost becoming one. And Wolfram's continuous attraction to other male here, gave him off a wrong image for me. I know that those parts are needed, but to blatantly let almost everyone had a piece of him, in whole or not, is kinda whoring even if he doesn't want it.

But then again, this is your story correct? You can do whatever you want. Its just that each of us has its own view of Wolfram, and I love your characterization of him on the first part, but with this overly sexual thing, its kinda off.

Though I was able to continue reading this cause I just assume that the characters I'm reading are not from KKM. That I'm reading an original story, just so I won't get upset on how things are turned out.

I'm more into your Working of Paradox cause Wolf's still 'untouch' there, except with the guy who has the right to do him. This one's kinda dark, full of abuse and too much tainting.

And its good that you put it here, cause some Wolfram lover who sees him beyond being tainted by others, will only have their hearts broken when they read this.

Good luck!
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From ANON - sighcoe from ff net on August 08, 2010
too many characters... wah! though you write really well... but too many characters...
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From Resting-Madness on June 24, 2010

Everytime I see Kyota's person I spit, I really do. I know someone exactly like him and it bothers me so much to see even deeper into that kind of person then I have already seen. Should I feel sorry for him, never, if love is missed you don't sit there mocking the person that the one you chose is with. Its indecent and ignorant- especially is that person has nothing against you. I pity him, but not in a good light. In a light that would consider him hopeless unless his attitude changed not for Wolfram- though it should, but towards Yuuri. He is not a lesser man just because Kyota wants something that he has. Wolram and Yurri, their love I'm crying even now as I read about them when apart as when I do when they're together its beautiful and you captured it perfectly. Perfectly. Asami, I like very much, I liked that line in chapter 8 when he says that he's glad that Yuuri never mentioned Wolfram, some people believe that actions speak louder and when they see them they come around instantly or eventually and I love that Asami is that kind of character instead of pissing and hissing when Wolfram talks or is around. This story, all of them I can't wait for the third is a wonder and a gem and should be read by every wonderful person and prick alike so that they can see themselves and be more like Asami. Hahaha, I'm sorry for the rant but damn it pulls it out of me. Good job, very good job.
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From ANON - priscel on January 06, 2010
Oh wow!!! That was an adventure. I was so worried that Wolf was going to die and then came Yuuri. *shakes head* I can only hope Amae is ok, he gave up so quickly! He could have been a healer, made new friends and he was already getting a dose of that from the lady in the village who gave him food. But Kyota didn't help. I wished he'd hung in there. I understand why Wolf won't tell Yuuri but at the same time I wished he would. *hug you* I loved both series and there's a third!?
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From ANON - priscel on January 03, 2010
*whistles* OHHHH I love Wolfie!!!! I'm up to Chap 16 I laughed, cried, screamed in anger because your version of Wolfram is beautiful, intelligent, feisty and just ... complexly perfect!!! ^_^ *hugs you* Thank you so much... I'm going back to read now.
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From Tru6768 on February 03, 2009
Well, I just finished reading this wonderful story and I would be devastated that it's over, if not for the fact that I know there's a sequel. Gee, I wonder how I'll feel after IF is finished...

But really, reading this fic was just such an enjoyable experience! Having read quite a few of your works and being a *huge* fan of several of them, I'm still inclined to say that this one may be the best of yours that I've read so far. Really just brilliant: the action being incredibly exciting and flowing in an easy-to-read and understandable manner; the dialogue being very steamy, insightful, and funny in different places; the characters being carefully created and well-developed; and, finally, the action coming to a very satisfying conclusion (with the exception of a few loose ends that I assume will be addressed in IF).

A comment on Amae Sederu. As you know, I am yet another person you can add to his list of fans. I've liked him since I first met him in one of the earlier chapters. But the last few chapters of this story really showed his character on a much deeper level. He obviously does not know how to relate to people except to exchange sex for survival, which is an understandable consequence of his life experiences. At the same time, he's aware of this shortcoming and is resentful of it. He is a complicated and difficult character to create and to write, but I think his neuroses are very realistic and his actions understandable to those of us who live in the real world (which, let's face it, isn't always pleasant). I can understand his twisted love for Faraya and I hope that one day he is able to have a healthier outlook on life. But who knows if that's possible. Still, I'm in awe of your your ability to get in his head and to get us there with you. And I love how, despite all of his "issues," he's compassionate, fun, flirty, enigmatic, and a leader to others in his situation. Really a loveable character. I'm so excited to see how he fares and what the future holds for him.

We also got to learn more about Kyota here. He can be a bit macho and dense, can't he? Lol. But I still love him. I hope one day someone else does, too. Anyone, really. The poor man has the worst luck with relationships.

Another thing I liked was when all the characters ended up on Earth towards the end. It was interesting to see how they fit into Earth culture (like Amae being "totally gay," and also seeing the way Yuuri's classmates view him and Wolfram). It's just another look at their characters through a different lens and puts them in a context that is, in some ways, easier to understand (seeing as how all of us readers are from Earth!). But at the same time, it encourages one to think critically about the labels we apply to people here.

Anyway, I'm sure I'm rambling on and probably forgetting to mention so many other things that I loved about this fic. One other thing I like is the way you continue to portray Yuuri and Wolfram's relationship. It is absolute love and trust, but without being overly mushy or idealistic. There's also jealousy and possessiveness and both partners have "lives" outside of their marriage. They also have secrets and issues that sometimes require compromise. They feel real to me and I like it.

So, in summation, a beautifully-woven story that was a pleasure to read. I am starting IF immediately :-D
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From whitelilacs on June 11, 2008
Rachmaninoff�s Piano Concerto No. 2 is one of my favorite piano pieces. Nice selection there in the last chapters~ ^^v

Anyway moving onto story review, lovely story. Dunno what else to say, I must say the parts with Faraya and Wolfram, I was like "noo!! T___T" And the part with Amae being reunited with Faraya made me sad for Kyota. D: So happy they're back together for now~ Murata's words really leave a lot of possibilities for what comes next. Anyway, looking forward to reading the sequel :D
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From ANON - Razion on February 09, 2008
Ahh, pardon me. I was so happy about your chapter I totally forgot what I wanted to say!

I do hope you write more about Amae! He's a really endearing character and I definitely wanna know what happens to him! Oh yes, and I think you wrote the yaoi bit at the end reaaallly juicily. ^^ Thank you again!
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From ANON - Razion on February 09, 2008
Wow. Awesome chapter! I love how you've written it! Goodness, I think you'll have me as a fan forever! Poor Wolfram, he's so sweet and Yuuri too! I'm glad everything's back to "normal"! I really really do hope you write the next part soon! This is an awesome ending and I for one hope you write many more KKM fics!

Thank you very much for putting all the effort you have into this story. It makes me happy to be able to draw out the time I take to read it. XD Have a kickass day!
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From ANON - naoko144 on January 23, 2008
OMGawd!!! x333 Why you ending it here T.T oh my xDD I'm imagining a lot of thing possible^^...will you do a sequel to that one too??Or leave us to wonder and imagined? Aaaaw xDD I still has so many question that hadn't got answered in it xDD...and where is kyota oO he disappeared into thin air? xDD that would be like, way to funny too imagine xDD *has some sketch comic of that in heads* lawl.

ANYWAY, it was an AWESOME STORY!!!!
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From hotgirl499 on January 19, 2008
Nooooo! It's finished!!! Beautiful i so love it the second is always better than the first yay wolfram and yuuri finally got their fustrations out. hey if i was wolfram i wouldn't like earth either people here are so freaking strange you'll think there from another planet or something. Well anyway great job your a very good writer you can get a book anytime it'll be easy for you to come up with something. i'm sorry i keep blabbing i'll stop now.
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From dawnmm on January 14, 2008
the end huh-i was really hoping thatwasnt true i cant wait to see what you do next. i still think that yuuri should know what faraya did and cant explain how much i wnat to see what he does. I also want to know what happened to wolframs guard and yuuri's friend they never really came back in. thanks for sharing waiting impatiently for the next part to start
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From alicem on January 13, 2008
Great ending. I feel bad that Wolfram hasn't told Yuuri about what happened. You can be sure that Yuuri would have immediatley killed Fayea if he had known!

Can't wait for the next series. Any idea how long it will take to get started?
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