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Reviews for Suffer The Little Children

By : MegFallow
  • From SSHGSHIPER on October 23, 2011
    Awsome cant wait 4 next chapter

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  • From ANON - sbsp13668 on July 01, 2008
    Please don't think I'm trying to be mean by typing this (I'm trying to help).

    I've read up to chapter 4, "III", so far... and I must say that this really needs to be edited. There are a lot of spelling and grammar errors, but that doesn't really bother me because usually fanfictions have poor English anyway. However, I think the story is taking too long to get to the important parts, and the characters are a little out of character (for lack of a better word).

    I'm having a very hard time with the plot as well; in the beginning of "Hellsing" (the mangas and OVAs), it's made pretty clear that another vampire can only be created if the original vampire bites a virgin of the opposite sex. However, the only child to become a ghoul in this fanfiction seems to be Sally (because she's not a virgin), but Maxwell's files of the incidents state that two boys and THREE girls were bitten. Whether they all turned into ghouls or all into vampires, except Sally, is unclear, since Maxwell says “’Just this week four children have died by the hands of a vampire bite and become ghouls!’”, but later Integra says “’[Sally] was the only one made a ghoul then…’” So if the suspect vampire is female, the two other girls who were bitten should have turned into ghouls as well (due to being the same sex as the original vampire). The Hellsing Organization makes it clear that they understand how vampires and ghouls are created, but it seems that Integra and Alucard only acknowledge the part about a virgin becoming a vampire and that the gender of the virgin is unimportant.

    I don’t know if the story is meant to be this way to create suspense, but whether all the other victims turned into ghouls or vampires is still unclear. If this were any other fanfiction I would’ve ignored all the errors, but I like the idea that the story has going for it (with the Hellsing Organization working with Iscariot and such). I think this fanfiction can be great based off of that idea, but in order to become great it needs A LOT of editing. Once again, I mean no offense.

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  • From ANON - Mermaid Ninja on October 11, 2007
    If Sally became a ghoul, that means she wasn't a virgin!
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  • From waterkelpie on June 20, 2007
    Yeah, nice! But why did you let the paladin wake up so soon???? O_O *bg*
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  • From LunaTheLunatic on June 20, 2007
    Ohh I'm enjoying this lots lots! only found 2 things that made me twitch but that's cuz I'm werid

    1) The villain was sooooooo easy to figure out. Just the way you described her screamed it.

    2) Abraham Had to be Integra's great grandfather just had to sense he was in his 40's in 1897. still Integras father was 20 something during 1942....so he was in his 40's when integra was made. (yeah did the math)


    besides those thing i am loving this!! its cute! and i can;t wait for the next chapter
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  • From waterkelpie on May 31, 2007
    *grins* I like the idea of Alucard being attacked while he sleeps...and of the female tearing him open...nice one! Do go on with that - I´m curious where it will lead... :-))

    Just a thought: Perhaps you could care a bit more for the language...for a non-native-english speaker it´s not always easy.
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