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Reviews for Playtime

By : madammalia
  • From qoh on June 11, 2008
    i really really love this story and hope you do another chapter with all three of them cause it was so hot!!!
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  • From yakaji on June 02, 2008
    (^_^) Chapter 3 makes me happy. Plus, kimono are d*mn sexy (though the origin of the "unwrap my present" line... well, I never wanted to think about the teachers at MY scool that way, anyway...).

    As always, it's a pleasure to read anything you write. It's always well-constructed and easy to visualize. And Kanda+kimono fanservice... so good. ('cause Lavi/Kanda doesn't count as having "no point, no depth, no meaning" if ya catch my drift (~_^) ) But in the interests of being more helpful than just "YAY!!" I do actually have some constructive criticism. You use a lot of... I'll call them 'referands' - in this piece. Things like, "the Japanese exorcist", "the red haired boy", "the Bookman apprentice", etc. I'm not a huge fan of this, for a very simple reason - I think writers should get as close as possible to making every word count. So to me, if I read "the Japanese exorcist", I expect to see something nearby where Kanda's 'Japaneseness' becomes a relevant point in the story. Same with "the Bookman apprentice" - If I read that, I expect Lavi to do something that showcases that side of his personality.

    I'm not going to claim I'm awesome on this point either. Knowing how to refer to characters while also 1) making it clear who's doing what and 2) not boring the reader with Kanda/Lavi/Kanda/Lavi/Kanda/Lavi every sentence is REALLY not an easy thing to do. (Thankfully most of what I write is het, so I can use 'he' and 'she' to distinguish - which makes MY job easier) But since your writing really IS very good already, I think it's reasonable to try to point you at things that I think could make it even better, even if they're things I'm still struggling with myself. (^_^) I don't really have any great suggestions on how to address the referand issue, and I don't think your writing here was made BAD in any way because of it, but I think it's something that, if you consciously worked on with your writing, could make what you compose even BETTER than it already is. Which would be, like, super extra bonus awesome. (~_^)

    f
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  • From yakaji on April 13, 2008
    Well, you just had to go and ruin Kanda's costume, didn't you? Do you really think he's going to be able to go down to the party after that? What will everyone say, if he shows up looking like he must?

    Ahh, it's clear he's not going down to the party anyway. He has a party of his own to attend. (^_~)

    Oh my God, k, I cannot tell you how hot this was. And yes, I find it more than a little disturbing that I'm saying that, but I just can't help it. I laughed out loud at a fair number of the things you put Kanda through, but at the end of the day it was all just very... sexy. Very, -very- sexy.

    I dunno, I just feel like I can't talk or think straight anymore after all that. I'm sorry this review is so inspecific, but I'm just sitting here thinking about Kanda and... frickin' yaoi. My GOD, but that was hot. Aaaahh....

    You rock my face off.
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  • From yakaji on April 13, 2008
    I really, really don't want to admit it, but I think you just converted me to yaoi. Me. Yaoi. Bah.

    I cannot tell you how good this was. I just finished the first chapter. You'll get another comment on the second chapter. This entire story was unbelievably hot, and despite what you told me I honestly felt like everyone was in character throughout. Kanda, most especially. The way he yelled and blushed by turns, I could see every bit of it in my mind and it's exactly what I expect from Yuu nowadays. Maybe my mind has been warped by doujinshi, though - does he ever actually blush in the manga? Still, this felt spot-on with the characters.

    It was a lot more... forceful than I expected, and I was genuinely surprised at how much I liked that. In this case, with the way Allen and Kanda act toward each other, this was exactly what was called for. The sex was an outgrowth of their characters - it provided characterization in a different way, but characterization that was still right in line with canon to me, if expressed physically. I'm about to go read the second chapter, but I loved this first one. This is amazing work.

    f
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  • From DracoDormiens on April 10, 2008
    Holy hell on a cracker. Another chapter. LaviYuu is my favorite! Mmmmm
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  • From qoh on March 29, 2008
    this is a really hot story ad you write a bottom kanda so well that i really hope you continue with another chapter
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  • From TillThatTime on March 13, 2008
    Hello there, I'm sorry it took me so long to get around to reading and reviewing this. Oh, and I must say, what a delightful treat this was. See, I've always felt that Kanda was very pretty but needed an attitude adjustment and what better why to do that then fuck him sensless? Agree? Of course you do. This was rather sexy, very sexy in fact, and I love fun smut just as much as I love sadistic smut, I'm just not very good at writing, but luckily you are so I'll have something to read. I just started D. Gray Man recently and Allen/Kanda smut is only topped (yes, pun intended) by Lavi/Kanda smut...oh and Lavi/Allen/Kanda smut just renders me incoherent. This is the first time I've read an Uke!Kanda fic, and as much as it would seem unreasonable, I think it's actually rather fitting because I think that the badass little bastards are the ones who need to be fucked the most. Sorry to be so crude, I'm too tired to put it into more eloquent terms. Anyways, this is very well written and quite an enjoyable read. I look forward to anything else you may write and encourage you to do so. Thank you so much for this fic and thank you for the wonderful reviews for Sinner.

    Ja ne!

    TillThatTime
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  • From yullenslvr on February 27, 2008
    awesme secnd chapter. i don't usually rread allen/kanda/lavific, but this one is hot
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  • From crispycat on February 19, 2008
    That was hot!
    I'd LOVE to see someone draw Allen and Kanda in their costumes. I would draw it, but I suck at art >
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  • From DracoDormiens on February 06, 2008
    I LOVE you! This is the first seme Allen with uke Kanda I've seen and it was steamin' fucking hot! Much much love. Uke!Kanda forever, dude.
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