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Reviews for Tear You Apart

By : Duomi

From PlantangelJchan on June 16, 2008
Yay Matt and Mello time. Those two are cool but I still like Matt better because Mello can be a bit of a man-bitch. I'm going to be in the car for a long time tomorrow morning so I'm going to have lots of free time to work on the drawing. I'm sorry it's taking so long but Petsmart has discovered that my bitching for hours means I actually would like to work so they've been throwing massive shifts at me for the past two weeks and I've had almost 0 time to work on it. But I will get it done and posted soon. Thanks you for updating and continuing to write and for your gaia comment. See ya next chapter. ^_^.

-L
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From HawkChic on May 31, 2008
Yesyes, I'm trying to figure out a way to fit her into the story that I'm planning out. The idea for it just jumped into my head, and I couldn't resist it, though I'm feeling awfully guilty about how I'm treating Light in it. *ducks head in shame* But still, I think it's all worth it, and imagining Light calling L 'master' I get a kick out of. Plus the fact that he's incredibly submissive in it. I've managed to squeeze a strong OC in, because I think Light should be the middle child; so he's got an older twin sister in this. I so want to include that blunt hacker though; she'd be awesome! Actually... *grins* I've got the perfect idea! *starts scribbling into her DREADED NOTEBOOK* Anyways, I'm getting back into the groove of writing, though I want to finish, or at least get close to finishing, The Freedom of Destiny before I start on another multi-chap of any length, and this one will probably turn all epic on me.

Nightwish is like teh bomb. You can look their songs up; several of them would fit in nicely with DN I think. My personal favorites are Dead to the World and Everdream.

Sorry that this review comes a little late; life's been hectic and I've barely had the time to keep up to date on the fanfiction that I enjoy reading.

KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK!

Kat.

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From ANON - Kitty on May 20, 2008
Yeah the messing up with the "misspelling rule" really bothered me, probably because it was such a major detail, but it shouldn't matter anymore. And I'm glad you started using "Light" because it's not only annoying writing it, personally, it's also kind of annoying reading it.
Anyway, I finally had the time to read this story and it ended with me sitting until 4am� so now I have red eyes� So what can I say? Wow simply wow, the precise way you thought of everything astound me, I'm referring to the characters' actions, the logic behind those actions and the consequences. Near is so IC that it's scary, the parts I was reading about how Near planned to get Light and L I had the exact same feeling of when I was watching Death Note... which not necessarily a good feeling but the fact that you succeeded in triggering it made the experience of reading this so much more intense, and besides I know you won't get L and Light caught� right? Right?? *hopeful*

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From PlantangelJchan on May 19, 2008
Ahhhhhh!! Sorry it took so long to get around to reading and reveiwing chapter 9. My schdule was quite busy the past weekend as I had an Autism Walk to help out with, and to top it off I updated my systems to Comcast triple play, and the morons had a lock on it till this morning. I apologize if my fic was a bit hard to read but i actually have bad eyesight and tend to miss a lot of spelling errors as well as grammatical ones. That and I use wordpad whitch has no spell check. But I loved this chapter as well the shower scene was quite pleasing. ^_^ Keep it up and I've hired my friend as a background artist for your pic because she's better at backgrounds than I am so we'll see what she can come up with. I've just gotten new glasses and the new prescription is giving me a bit of an adjustment problem so I'll have to reaccustom myself to seeing again. Being half blind sucks T^T. Oh well keep up the good work and I'll see you next chapter

-L
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From Dotowe on May 19, 2008
YAY! Happy Lemony SMut Monday! Loved it! "Do shinigami really eat people?" "Can I rinse out the conditioner now?" Ha ha ha. So cute. I like, also, L's decision to leave in the beginning; and even if Kira doesn't really fully understand his reasons for wanting L to stay, the verbal battle that ensued was very entertaining to read. It had an undercurrent of half-masked emotions that neither of them really fully comprehends!. Great job and I lurved the length! Can't wait to see what Matt and Mello are cooking up!

Joie,
Gloria
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From ANON - Lila on May 19, 2008
GOD DAMN you daily moment of down time!!!!! ...Anyway i had just written a kick ass review explaining my lack of review for the previous chapter and an awesoms and excellent review of this updated chapter as well and give the story numerous lovely comment and also an excellent review of the yumminess that was the shower scene.......Okay so i am going to recap my review short version mmky cause i'm sleepy....Okay so loved that Kira realized the Domestic scene he was in... with the washing of L's hair..Absolutely loved the "sex" scene in the shower is it hot in here?... even though they didn't go all the way to the Lemonade...Interaction's Between Kira and L as ALways very believable and this story has a very real feel to it like it could happen in the actual DeathNote just taken in a different direction love what you have done with this magnificent story so far... I believe i wrote about my happy dance at this updated chapter..There were a few rabid fangirl moments that i believe were totatlly warranted when it comes to this story Heehee..Anyway that was my deleted review in short ^_^ okay can't wait till next chapter YEAH!!
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From sharingan on May 18, 2008
I really like Light's passive aggressive sort of way of persuading L to stay while avoiding the underlying issue of his emotions; that feels very realistic, coming from someone like him. He's far too prideful to admit to wanting to keep L around because he enjoys the pleasure of his company, at least now that he is no longer maintaining the whole friendship facade.

I think your jumping between "Light" and "Kira" is interesting. L seems to consistently think of Light as Kira by this time, even if he sometimes calls him Yagami-kun or occasionally Light-kun, and I like that - probably because it's Kira who is L's rival, and not Light. I wonder if Light really thinks of himself as Light or as Kira; I suppose for his parts, alternating between the two is pretty valid since he seems to accept both as identifiers.

I also liked the remark by Light at the end of the chapter, about how his death would essentially be L's fault; seemed to refer back to the bit at the beginning, where L admitted that he regretted sending criminals to their executions because their blood was, in a sense, on his hands, combined of course with his affection for Light.

I really hope L doesn't end up burning the Death Note! I would miss Kira, or Light-with-Kira's-memories, and I bet L wouldn't feel satisfied in the end either, for the reasons Light already mentioned, even if he may think at the time that it's for the greater good. L is L, and he is still selfish enough to want to find a solution that pleases him. And, well, I suppose in a sense this entire situation came about out of each of their respective selfishness.

In regard to the misspelling rule, I think that you can escape on a technicality or two. How To Read says "if the Death Note owner intentionally misspells the name four times, the owner will die" but it also says "the Death Note will *not ever* affect a victim whose name has been misspelled four times," and it doesn't specify that the name must have been written accidentally. These rules normally work fine, because it suggests that if the owner writes his victim's name incorrectly four times, the owner is sacrificing his own life to save that of his victim's, but they do contradict each other if the owner is also the victim.

Furthermore, it could be argued that the writer is not necessarily the owner, and the first rule I mentioned does specifically refer to the owner (who is bound to the note) rather than any writer who happens to pick it up, and as I recall, L was not the owner of the note when he wrote his own name. It's true that the intention behind the rules is pretty clear from the perspective of the author, but considering even the shinigami don't fully understand the Death Note's functionality, one could also argue that the issue of the owner also being the victim was just not addressed by the supernatural rules - after all, shinigami are the typical owners of the Death Note and death gods wouldn't have any reason (or ability) to kill themselves or each other, and as such, no reason to enter their own names into a Death Note. The Death Note was presumably not designed with the intention to be used by humans, after all. So there are three possibilities that I can see here, or some combination of the three. It's nitpicky, but I think fanfiction is allowed to do that. :p

Otherwise, I was very happy to see a huge chapter up; nothing like staying up until 2:30am with some good reading.
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From Kaiyuke on May 17, 2008
*FLAILS* Gosh, after reading your ANs, I feel like such an awful DN fan. I seriously did not pick up on any of those things. =/
(Most likely because I haven't actually bothered to read the 13th book - i.e. the actual rules ;__;... I have it.... I just haven't had the time to read it? hah hah *dies*)

Sighs! Anyhow, I really did enjoy this chapter a lot. I still find it absolutely amazing how you put so much effort into researching the background information for your stories and just how "in character" L feels. XD IDK, *flails* *loves*!
I think as soon as you put L and Light and shower (and therefore, presumed nakedness) in the same sentence, fangirl bells start ringing. Lol. *headdesk* I feel like such a pervert.

I'm a bit confused about L's conclusion though. I mean, Light was practically begging near the end... so is he going to stay? (I have this feeling that he may sneak off while Light's not looking)
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From animekid on May 12, 2008
I love sayu....I should have mentioned that. So seeing her have a part in my favorite death note story makes me super happy. I could go on a rant on how I hated the second part of death note because of sayu's role, how she became the usual younger sister idolizing her brother like most manga, to just becoming a means to an end and becoming an invalid(?) and not seen anymore >< It pissed me off as much as how Mello and Matt just quietly went POOF without closure among other things.

but BESIDES that, the picture is done but the scanner issue is a pain in the ass. The college I go to for scanning don't allow public people to scan anything so I have to beg to try to get it on my usb so I can post it on da or lj. It came out blah to me but you might like it....it's based on TMA. I wanted to make a matsu and near interaction picture too but I am still thinking how to put it out....

Besides me moaning I like this chapter on outer character interaction and how sayu acts a lot like her brother. I personally like sayu/matsu and was dissapointed in the manga that it didn't happen! Some friendly and non suggestive interaction made me laugh so next to the battle is one of my favorite chapter.

Still keep up the good work and I'll try to work harder and balance my play/work time more so I can draw again x.x;

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From PlantangelJchan on May 06, 2008
Hello again. This review is late I actually read it yesterday but due to unforseen circumstances I was kicked from the computer and forced to go without, but I enjoyed this chapter even though there was no Light and L it's ok. And yes I am quite fluent with both G.D.D and S.R. they are my favorite DN artists. But yes I will continue to work onthe drawing I have decided on the genius chess scene and I will submit it to DA when it's finished.Till next time....

-L
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From Dotowe on May 06, 2008
Brava!

Yeah, *laughs* this was certainly unexpected. I had absolutely no idea you were bringing Sayu in. I really enjoyed her character from the series, and even the like action films, so I am stoked that you're using her!

I gave out a whoop! when she started scolding her brother on live tv. I think I would have done something similar had I been in her place. I am very proud of Sayu. If my brother was the egotistical madman gripping the world in fear, I would probably make it my personal vendatta to make him stop, you know?

AND THEN SHE BITCH SLAPS NEAR!!!!!

I freaking loved that part! And wouldn't that be interesting if Near and Sayu were to...*strokes chin* My imagination just went nuts, I'll have you know. I have never before considered that pairing, but hell, it would...make, well, not sense particularly, but it should would be interesting!

Anyway, I'm rambling. Matsuda as adorably ditsy as ever. Soichiro is back? That's interesting too. Aizawa rocks my socks. AND RESTER! I adored how he took up for Near. He's like Yeah, I get he's a bit strange, but he's not a lab experiment so fucking show some respect. He's human and he's right here. Hosers.

My gawd, I think you're humanizing Near for me too. Not in big ways, because that would be almost OOC, but in little nuances, in things Near doesn't say, small pauses that speak volumes. I like it. I certainly would like to revisit Matt and Mello! I'm excited for future chapters and this one was wonderful, as usual!

Joie and bananas,
Gloria
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From HawkChic on May 04, 2008
I adore Nightwish. I don't have any of their CDs (sadly), but an author friend of mine, who can't post here, loves them and is trying her hardest to gather all their CDs. She's only missing a few (she has five of their CDs so far) what she's missing is Oceanborn and Over the Hills and Far Away EP. You know, I recommend that you use one of their songs for a chapter title at some point.

As for those PWPs, I'm not sure yet. *frowns* I've been reading more fanfiction lately than I've been writing; kind of sad. And I've taken an interest in vampire fanfiction, again, so I'm thinking about doing a Death Note one. What do you think? I'd like feedback on it. The PWPs are Tales of Legendia and maybe Bleach. XP

I still don't like Near that much; perhaps I'm bias because of that Near-loathing friend I have... she goes off on long rants about how much she loathes him. Sort of amusing, but it heavily affects my opinion of him. So you have your work cut out for you to actually get me to like him. All the best of luck on that.

Other than that... there aren't many female Death Note characters, and that makes me sad. *pouts* I've even debated creating my own, in fact, I'm going to borrow my friend's alter ego for that. Just because I like the character design for it and the personality of her is funny. She's bland, blunt, a hacker, enjoys pocky, and drinks tea rather than coffee. So, I want to write for her very much. It can be an early birthday present for her.

So, I liked your characterization of Sayu! Lovely! I'm looking forward to seeing more! One question: are we ever going to see our adorable uke-ish Light again?!

Viridian Kat.
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From Hellagoddess on May 04, 2008
Aww no Kira and L but that's okay - I understand it's nessesary! Haha! Good on you for including Sayu! She's one of those characters that's only really brought out for terrible porn (mostly involving Ryukuu for some reason :s, but to each their own..). I liked that she didn't take shit from Near and beat his little albino ass within 5 seconds of meeting him! Made me laugh.

I think my absolute favorite part of this chapter was Soichiro's description of Raito as a young child. I liked that his mum went 'oh he was perfect child...' then his dad was like 'uh...actually dear..." But absolutely loved the description. Very In Character and would explain a lot about 'our young man, Yagami-kun.'

Keep it up, looking foward to the next chapter (as always!) I keep meaning to paint you something - but it just seems to...I dunno...just getting a picture of it on the net doesn't seem to express my thankful-ness properly haha, I'd send you the actual canvas if I could - but Kami (*Mikami pops up* WHERE?! KAMI?!) knows how much it would costa nd I would be terrified of it getting damaged :S But the thought is there! :D:D
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From Kaiyuke on May 04, 2008
Sayu amuses me. I'm quite interested in how you're going to make Light respond to this. hrm.
I could never really figure out if Light actually loves his little sister. Ok wait, I take that back, I wouldn't go as far as to say "love" but he does care for her to an extent? (or perhaps he just feigns that too...? I mean, he DID kill his dad ;__;)
Ahrm...

More please. :D
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From Prongslet on May 04, 2008
Sorry, I didn't mean to review twice. The stupid thing was messing up when I was trying to review. I didn't know if it had sent the review or not so I did it again. Poor Sayu, it's got to be hard on the poor girl when she finds out that her role model big brother turns out to be a killer. I hope that things turn out in the end and no one end up getting killed, but mainly L and Kira. I love those two. I wonder how L is going to take the broadcast when he finds out.
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