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Reviews for The first time

By : ankfanforever
  • From barrie18 on June 27, 2009
    Big question for you here. . .

    Is Riki acting this way because 1: He is 'broken' and feels all he has left in the world now is Iason (Stockholm Syndrome)
    2. He is afraid of being on his own and playing the game to stay with Iason
    3. He is 'broken' and is just going through the motions of eating etc because Iason has told him to.

    Either way this goes. . .unless something else happens to reinstate his 'spirit and independence' Iason is going to be left with a willing sex slave.
    Not exactly the qualities that attracted him to Riki in the first place.

    So somewhere Iason has got to realize that a 'happy' Riki with no personality is also not the solution. Kindness only at this stage only makes for dependence, it won't bring back the fire. . . .And what will Iason's reaction be then, as emotionally his range is still limited, and uncontrollable. Does he lose the plot and go back to violence to try and get a rise out of him Pet? Does he treat him like an invalid, trying to discover a medical cure(he probably can't believe it would be a mental issue) or does he just sit back puzzled sometimes playing with his toy, and other times wondering why this isn't pleasing him as it did before? And yet he still can't let go. . .

    As to Guy, will there be a scene when Raoul (the voice of reason and sanity) throws the truth in his face? And once faced with the truth, will that break him? Or will it set the wheels in motion for him to try and break away to see Riki, to apologize. Or does Raoul just come home after seeing Iason with stories of the 'aimless' toy that is now Riki the Dark, to eat away at him?

    Which can also lead to many avenues. . . ::evil grin::

    What road do you take us on next?
    Till the next update :)






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  • From ANON - jishe on June 26, 2009
    Well, what can i say about this chapter except that Iason got himself in a big trouble?
    I mean, yeas he actually made Guy hate Riki (of course, will be just for a short period of time), he let Riki (poor Riki)just liying there with just his desepere as company but...just time will say...
    Nice fic, keep going!!!
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  • From barrie18 on June 26, 2009
    The only surprise I had here was that both Iason and Guy are complete idiots. And that Raoul is the only one running around with a brain at this stage.

    For someone who is Head of the Syndicate and must use diplomacy on a daily level, when it comes to Riki, I'm finding Iason a complete thug here.

    Instead of a gentle seductive hand, he is going out of his way to be brutal to get what he wants. And what does he want? Riki's passion in a positive manner( won't use the "L" word as Blondies don't recognize its existance) Well doing what he's doing is not going to make it happen. Either Riki continues to rebel, or he becomes a broken sex doll devoid of any true emotion except perhaps dependency.

    As to Guy. . . Raoul has hinted broadly time and time again that Iason is not a 'gentle' master as he is. He has now faced Iason and can see upfront what he is like and what Riki must be going through. So when faced with the truth, instead of acknowledging that Riki did this for him, to save him, he turns on Riki and 'rapes' him.

    Yes, once he cools down, the guilt will probably come flooding in full board, but the damage has been done, as I can't see Iason letting those two get together again for chat let alone another pairing.

    As to Iason's comment to Riki. . .he now has only him. Well, who wants 'him' Guy was a support base for Riki, a friend, he paired with him out of friendship, not love. Everything Iason has done so far has only pushed Riki further away not closer. And this latest 'trick' of his wouldn't make Riki turn to him. If anything Riki would either rebel more or be so broken by Guy's actions, that he becomes devoid of emotion entirely. Not a willing sex doll, but a none caring entity that just lies there like a lump with no feelings whatsoever. Then let Iason work that one out. . . Mr. Genius.

    Just to conclude with a quick word on Raoul. I'm finding him an understanding character (well someone has to be) and at the moment it appears that what is happening between him and Guy is more of a friendship with benefits. I say this because so far even though there is 'passion' in the bedroom, there is no passion in the relationship outside of that arena. I'm interested to see if anything develops there to balance the chaos of the other.

    Well, that's how my mind is seeing things at the moment, I look forward to see where your mind travels next.. . .

    'Til the next update :)






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  • From ANON - jishe on June 24, 2009
    OMG!!! I want a punishment like that!!! >///< Well...maybe not...or yes...or not...or yes...or not...or yes....
    Anyway, he is going to pair with Guy right? I'm just guesing, but....my woman intuition tells me that...
    Let see in the next chapter...
    See you soon!!!
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  • From barrie18 on June 24, 2009
    Don't worry about surprising me as a good story with strong characters is always a pleasure to read XD

    But. . . .sexual pleasures/desire does not equal love. Iason is in love with Riki because of the 'fire' in his spirit, not just because he is a 'good lay'.

    On the other hand. . .Riki's response (at this stage at least) is purely sexual. Iason is pushing the right physical buttons but mentally he is getting no where fast. It's no wonder that Riki is feeling conflicted but if the two responses don't jell, then in the end all that can happen is that Riki will break in mind and Iason is left with a willing sex doll. . . .

    As to who Riki will be paired with. . . well I think we all guess Guy.
    And once again there are just so many directions you can go with. Would they do it as a final farewell to each other, not do it because they aren't pets and screw the Blondies or even other directions I can see happening.

    That is if he is paired with Guy. . . :)

    But. . . how will Iason react to a pairing any pairng? He couldn't cope with Riki melting into Raoul's kiss and that was under his orders, so when he sees Riki doing or being done and 'responding' well, can't see him being a happy chappy about it all.

    Keep going, can't wait to see where you go next XD

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  • From ANON - jishe on June 22, 2009
    TT-TT Poor Iason...he deserved it...but well...bleeding and all that wasn't on my mind...his beatifull skin...XD
    I don't know what else to say except a agree complety with Riki. I mean, he actually doesn't love Guy, but it's like his best friend and lover, and there goes iason and poison him...i'll be angry too...Let's see what happens next...See you soon!!!!
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  • From barrie18 on June 22, 2009

    How do you get someone to love you when he has found out you poisoned his pairing partner, so you could get control of him?

    And it is still at the stage where no love or personal feeling has developed on Riki's side. . .

    So you have indeed created a hard puzzle for yourself to solve.

    Riki will now be in full mongrel mode and Iason. . . well are there any tactics he can devise to get what he wants. . . because plain old sex isn't going to do it now. Riki is in fighting mode. . .

    As I said . . .very hard call.

    Raoul, on the other hand is very contained in his attitude and even though he doesn't want to get rid of his mongrel yet, I get the feeling at least at this stage that it is just curiosity that keeps Guy there. No 'true' emotions exist at this point, if they ever will.

    Guy is pivotal I think to what happens next. Is he used as further blackmail for Iason to get what he wants? If you come to my bed willingly I'll get Raoul to free him( like Raoul would do that. . .) or if you want your freedom Guy, tell Riki you don't want him anymore. Either way the guilt is going to be flying onto someone.

    Thanks for letting me 'rant'

    looking forward to see what happens next.














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  • From barrie18 on June 20, 2009
    If I'm getting to carried away. . . just tell me to stop, but when I like a story I can't help analyizing the characters behaviour and what they do next. As I've said to others, you wrote them and if they've come alive to me. . it's really your fault XD

    I thought this was the direction you would go. Raoul and Guy are the Yin to the Yang relationship of Riki and Iason.

    And isn't it funny that the one who is ice has the explosive emotions, whereas the one who wears his emotions on the surface is the one who is reasonable about it all?

    Neither Blondie believes in love, Guy is in love with Riki, Riki is not in love with guy, but loves him(too totally different things), so where do you go now?

    I guess the question is, even though you have Guy with Raoul, does this follow the script and end up at Dana Bahn or are you following your own path and creating a different ending?

    I can see Riki & Iason being in the love/hate relationship, just because of the fire between them.

    But at the moment, even though Raoul and Guy are having great scx (XD) there is no connecting passion between them, things are too logical between them.

    That is fine if you continue down the traditional storyline, but if, as I said you are going a different path, then something has to stir the pot.

    Can't see Guy and Riki meeting up soon, as Iason would have a jealous fit(even though he doesn't realize what the problem is ) but a conversation between Raoul and Iason as new pet owners. . .

    As I said earlier I like the 'logic' behind this chapter as it establishes who these two are.

    looking forward to the next update
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  • From barrie18 on June 19, 2009
    I like Riki's development here. Riki, while still questioning himself and his motives, is starting to get that rebellious streak that makes him untameable. It doesn't matter what happens during the sex act, its all in the attitude before and after that counts when it comes to Riki's personality.

    Which of course brings me to Iason. So far he is the 'perfect' Blondie, except for the fact that he is 'bored' and needs a diversion, hence a mongrel pet.

    At the moment with Iason it is all about the sexual conquest, but somewhere along the line, he is the one who has to break. By that I mean the conqueror becomes the conquered as it is Riki who breaks through the cold facade. That is if that is the direction you are going in. And if it is, it would be interesting to see how that does happen. When and how does it become more than just sex for him?

    Look forward to see where you go with this, and how Guy and Raoul are used to balance out the story.

    Hope you update soon.






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  • From ANON - jishe on June 18, 2009
    Jajajajaja!!! Poor Riki, why i wish a was in his place!!! Well...maybe not...XD
    Nice chapter. Really sexy!!
    Keep on going! I want to see "Riki the Dark" soon...and then, poor Iason.
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  • From ANON - Amber on June 18, 2009
    hey just wanted to let you know i realllyy like this fic and am looking forwards to reading the rest.. i keep checking every day for updateds haha thank you for writing this
    Amber xx keep writing
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  • From barrie18 on June 15, 2009
    Just found this and hope you update soon.

    Your characters are very distinct and it will be interesting to see what you end up doing with them. Riki and Iason have the usual chemestry between them although at this stage, your Riki is more moderate behaviour wise, while Iason is a complete prick. It will be interesting to see if these behaviours modify as they continue to interact between them

    In contrast you have Raoul and Guy. Guy at the moment really hasn't had a chance to show what he is made of, while Raoul seems to be more moderate in attitiude, although not happy at first with Iason's decisions in dealing with mongrels.

    As to where you would go with this, I guess one possibility, which would be gut wrenching all the way around is if Guy and Riki were brought to pair to entertain their various 'masters'. Iason might start off cool, but I think all hell would be breaking out later. . .

    Anyway, hope you update soon.



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  • From ANON - jishe on June 13, 2009
    Hello!! Finally together!!! Iason (like always) it's just...A IDIOT!! Poor Riki. I just hope it's gets better (for him) in the future..ah! also for Guy (he is so cute!!)
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  • From ANON - kalicia on June 13, 2009
    Im so happy u decided to update and i notice no one else has commented. I guess some people don't know a good story when one is up. I love your story so please keep updating them!!!! (^_^)
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