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Reviews for The Wall Within Kirika

By : BeefJerkyYo
  • From JuyJuka on March 29, 2018

    Hello Beef_Jerkins,

    should have waited another year, then it would have been a decade. *laughs* I am supprised that you noticed my comment.

    I still like your story and Kirika in it. Reading how Mireille is tortured by her silent waiting is exactly what I'd expect to happen. It's out of character (strange as I said back then) for Kirika to be persistent about an unanswered question, but having her just stare askingly at Mirelle - what I'd expect her to do - would only have dragged the story boringly along and it truely is new for her. Mireille's ironhard willpower compared with her sultry words ist fitting.

    The story could be continued with Mireille tutoring Kirika about relationships, marriage and what it means to love another women. Or the story could get a second time-line/universe/second-chapter in wich one of both feel a more mother-child kind of love and they'd have to deel with that - I like the sotry-idea but not the second time-line. ;-)

    Greetings

    Juy Juka


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  • From ninesenshi on August 13, 2009
    Good stuff. I also like to see Noir fics. As to your grammar, et al. You just need to proof read, or ask someone to do it for you. It's`welling' not `wallowing' :) and so forth.
    Your descriptions are pretty good, conversations ok. I did not like plot so much. I don't think Noir would ever set out to kill innocents. Aside from bodyguards, who are legitamate targets, they never have. Also, while the girls are inexperienced, I don't think Mireille is THAT unaware of human responses, even if she is probably a virgin.
    Mostly good, so keep writing.
    SailorNemesis
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  • From JuyJuka on August 02, 2009
    Hello Beef Jerkins,

    Even if you don't like your story that much yourself, I enjoyed it!
    Kirika is realy very, very cut that way. She akts a little strange (I mean strange for her), but she's never had to face a situation like that in the anime, so it might be her real/true reaktion. ;)

    I'd enjoy to read more and hope your family is all well.

    Greetings
    Juy Juka
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