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Reviews for PokéCase Closed

By : LyokoWarrior19
  • From ANON - Sky on February 15, 2011
    Guess sometimes I can't be dead right. Ha ha. This chapter was nice and good at explaining out the facts so far. Just seems to be a bit off because it was just a fact chapter and not a major action chapter. Still, action all the time would be so boring. Ha ha... anyways, looking forward to the next chapter. Good luck writing it.
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  • From ANON - Sky on February 13, 2011
    I like mysteries and I also write in my spare time. So it was a bit easy to follow the path of the shortest point, from A to B and just fill in the unknown gap between the two points.

    So that's who Richard is. Although now as Elsie has replaced Richard and one or all of his Pokemon. No reason for a villian to give away information that is going to give her victims help. Onto Elsie though. Like you wrote out, she appears to be the main villian. Still, she could be another puppet on a string like Shi. She seems rather young to be some kind of evil person carrying out some plot. But I have no idea.

    Akira is injured still, so I find it doubtful that he is able to realize everything going on. But I do feel that he might notice the slight difference in Richard and how he is acting. But that might not happen until he is 100% or it might not happen at all. Jenny, is Jenny. Officer of the law she might be, she still can be the biggest bonehead on the planet. Plus she's just a side character.

    By the way. Like Madbob said, you really need to proofread. Small mistakes tend to just get filled in in my head, but they still look sort of weird. It might be tiring to read through every sentence and word, but it will be a finished and well done product at the end. So, looking forward to the next chapter. Good writing.
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  • From ANON - Sky on February 13, 2011
    Well I'm glad the review made you so happy. So the villian has been un-masked and a new problem has appeared. Who switched out the Garchomp? This Richard... if you mentioned him before, then I've gone and totally overlooked him. Jenny is a officer of the law and a rogue Jenny or one in a gang or being paid off by a gang seems highly unlikely... but, not impossible either.

    Also, how the reporter knows who Akira is, aside from him being a possible city or area famous detective? I like how you brought in someone new who seems highly neutral, and also how it seems you have eliminated Shi already. Which tells the reader, or at least me, that Shi didn't know it was going to happen, quite possibly. The line "One of the people is still alive" lends a heavy fact to the idea that Shi was introduced and killed in the same chapter, pointing him out to be the "villian is really the villian or just a distraction tatic" idea I pointed out in my last review.

    Now that it seems that the true villian is unclear once again, I want to read more. You wrote it very well and played it out in a cleaver enough way so people would be drawn back to read more. I'm glad that the review I gave before helped you to crank out this new chapter so fast, and I am indeed looking forward to the next chapter. Good work! :D
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  • From ANON - Sky on February 11, 2011
    Sorry for not reviewing, but I had a hard time taking self opinions on what I felt about this story. For one, it is very well writen. It highlights the side of Pokemon that is never shown, but no doubt fans have been aware of for quite some time. I for one am quite pleased that this kind of story exists, to lend a side to the violent part of Pokemon and how humans can mis-use them.

    Onto the actual story. So far, Akira is quite a smart one. His legendary team, which it seems we have only seen one of so far, is not one that disappoints. The crimes are well thought out and the suspects are hard to pin for the first two chapters. This mystery gang that is striking now with the pre-programmed/brainwashed Electrodes is a bit concerning and I'm actually concerned for Akira's wellbeing, as well as the wellbeing of his team. I don't feel a need to rush to see who the villian is, but a bit of unmasking would be pleasant to see. Perhaps even have the leader of the gang admit it, but then when he or she is taken to court for their actions or about to be arrested by Officer Jenny, there is no actual proof that the villian is really the villian or just a distraction tatic.

    I'm looking forward to the next chapter. Hopefully you'll continue writing.
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