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Reviews for Didn't Even Make It

By : ArashiLeonhart
  • From exfaffy0000 on May 03, 2012
    Damn you write well. I can't believe I didn't read this earlier - the fate section hadn't had an update in a while so I just didn't check.

    I'm a huge Tohsaka and Shirou fan so that really hit the spot. But more importantly there's a quality of intimacy and humour that I aspire to.

    Next, characterization. There's keeping them in-character and then there's making them do things I swear I they would do, so clear is it in my mind's eye. The dialogue and prose is so damn shiny, it hurts.

    I'd like more dirty detail though, you seem to hold back a little on that. Not that the prose is lacking, holy shit, no, no. It's great stuff, leagues ahead of what I can make, or what I've read even. I find myself at a loss for words, but you always seem to have new, fresh takes where I have tired description.

    So no, it's not the quality of prose. It feels like...I don't know. It just feels cleaner. I could chalk it up to preference, it's easy to forget I'm into some forceful stuff. Illya's and Rin's parts in particular, stood out to me, but I could be biased, they are my favourite characters.

    Then again, I think not - the part where Shirou leans up to kiss Illya is, for example, really, just damn good. An example of the kind of hot intimacy that seems to be your specialty. Upon reading everything else you have, I find that, no, I'm not being biased, it's really goddam everywhere. In the Saber Alter fic (which I'll review in a second, goddam), in the Shinji fic - a character I treated as a joke.

    That's all. Tried not to ramble, but eh, what can you do.
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  • From WootMannen on January 14, 2012
    Nice stuff all around. The Illya one made me WTF a bit, if felt a tad rushed, kinda, but otherwise, it was pretty good.

    Write more? You're good at this.
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