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for End of a Journey

by trutenor

schedule May 13, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Well.. it was good, it could have been longer, and the scene a little bit sexier. If it was Ash´s first time, it means it must have been Mistys firt time to. you could have gone in to more detail about her losing her virginity, ash to.maybe a bit hesitant, a bit scared.... ash not being able to control himself, noone ever does in there first time! Over all, it was good, 3 out of 5

Lil Solita
person Lyfe
schedule June 27, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Sweet.
person ?????
schedule January 21, 2004 at 12:00 AM
HURRY AND RIGHT THE NEXT CHAPER I CANT WAIT
person Evil
schedule May 9, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Ash and Misty??????????????????????????? Sure ok whatever
person xiao lang lover713
schedule February 20, 2003 at 12:00 AM
cool.. i like this..g8 work
person Dante
schedule December 31, 2002 at 12:00 AM
Let me first say that I don't know anything about Pokemon outside of what my seven-year-old nephews have told me, but I knew that an NC-17 fic of the show would be weird. Almost to the extent of disturbing. However, you did a great job of taking as child's show and turning it into an adult fiction. However, you could be a bit more descriptive- I had no idea who was talking in the beginning until someone else mentioned their name.
person Dante
schedule December 31, 2002 at 12:00 AM
Let me first say that I don't know anything about Pokemon outside of what my seven-year-old nephews have told me, but I knew that an NC-17 fic of the show would be weird. Almost to the extent of disturbing. However, you did a great job of taking a child's show and turning it into an adult fiction. However, you could be a bit more descriptive- I had no idea who was talking in the beginning until someone else mentioned their name.
person aznkao
schedule December 16, 2002 at 12:00 AM
Damn you. You just keep writing very good stories!! NICE LEMON..dun mind if i can..copy off you..*cough* jk. Newayz..your a talented writer...keep continuin this story..WHICH i know you are already making a sequel..but please...PLEASE continue..

shaft
manhood
lol its all good =D

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