rate_review Reviews

WOW i love it it is wonderful perfect great. sequel needed i love them as a cupple

Just because you ran it through the spellchekcer doesn't eve everything's spelled right. You used 'accept' instead 'except' all the time. Using a word's homonym doesn't make the story clearer, it makes it worse.

Also, it's not spelspellchecker. It's the grammar, the execution, the plot, and especially he science. If oyu don't know first aid, look it up, there's a million websites.

Anyway, I strongly advise geting that beta reader. Try the resources section here. I just hope you can find one who can put up with Kale. She's a rather unlikable character.

If your other stories are as 'polished' as this one, please don't bother to post them.

PS: symbiote, with an E is the correct spelling. 'sym' isn't a word.

Just because you put this through the spellchecker, that doesn't mean this is a readable story. I pretty much figured you relied on the spellchekcer to do all your work and left it at that.

I KNOW you spellchecker, but I STILL can't read it! IT's too BAD, and too BORING.

You need to beta, you need to retry, retype, redo, whatever. This draft doesn't work.

Please no more. Fix this one before you post anymore.

PS: Have you tried dictionary.com for correct spelling of symbiot?

I was going to ask oyu to spellcheck this, but apparently that's your problem. I agree with Josie, that it's a homonym problem.

Personally I can't make much of a judgement on this because I skimmed the first chapter. I couldn't get trough the first few chapters. I was really confused and bored.

I skimmed to Kale, who seems rather bitchy (I agree with Josie. I doubt a spellchecker can fix an OC)

Like I said, I don't have much to say, but I think it does need some overall fixing.

If yuo need a beta, why not use the MST that's posted? Mr. Larch seems to know his high scool bio and most of te time the MST isn't an MST as much of a C & C.

Not that it's all that funny. I don't know why there's a 'No offense toward the original author' on the summary. MST's aren't meant to bash authors and there isn't anything in there that does insult the author.

For instance :

'another WHAT shook the ground?'

is very much a C&C comment.

'We should know, we're from california' is a dumb joke.

As was mentioned before, there's also a 'resources' section here, too.

I tried to read this, but the spelling/grammar is just too bad to follow the story.

I skimmed down the chapter, hoping htis would improve, but they didn't. It's not in character and the grammar and spelling still make it too hard to follow the story. I did notice your OC Kale, I say you have on helluva Mary Sue there.

I reccomend a beta editor

I read it. It's really hard, you need to spellcheck.

I'd say you should crack open that High Scool Textbook of your and review it, a lot of science and medicine is way off.

Spellcheck and get a Beta reader, and Kale's bitchy.

Sorry, I know oyu put itme and et int into this, but it still needs a major amount of work

This story desperately needs a beta whose English is of native competence. The flow of sentence
fragments makes for a disjointed and disconcerting reading experience. To be honest, I gave up
on reading after the first chapter because the quality of writing made it too difficult to pay attention
to the content. Just consider the following from the first page.

"I think so." He'd been traveling further west to the coast, hoping to meet ships traveling further
west, and eventually arrive at the shores of his homeland. Not that he really had a home. Only
he'd been hindered of late. Sand storms, twisters, floods, and now earth quakes.

It would have been more readable and easily understandable had it contained complete sentences.
The style of repetition evidenced by "traveling further west to the coast, hoping to meet ships traveling
further west," is also evidence of the need for a good beta. I'm not a particularly good editor, but I
think it would have been more readable to rephrase the paragraph as follows:

"I think so." He'd been traveling to the coast, hoping to meet ships traveling further west to his
homeland, not that he really had a home anymore. His journey had been hindered of late by sand
storms, twisters, floodnd, nd, now, earthquakes.

By the way, a spell checker should also be run on this to avoid misspellings such as "immerge."The
beta would have changed "earth quake" to "earthquake" since a spell checker wouldn't have
minded it.

Hey, I know you have more chapters to this story, so why not add them here for others to read as well? =) It's a fascinating tale, please indulge your readers with the rest of it. Thank you!